The Serrated Edges of My Heart

William Eugene Beckett.

I'd known him for all my life and we'd been best friends up until the summer after 8th grade, when I had to tell him that I wasn't coming back to Aunt Ruth's for the summer anymore.

"Wow, so are you going to visit Aunt Ruth?" he asked as the plane slowly started down the runway.

I focused on the conversation to try and block out the queasy feeling in my stomach.

"Going to live there actually," I stuttered out, "Just until I get into college or something. William, you know she's not your aunt right?"

I could feel the plane rising underneath me.

"Yeah, its a habit," he laughed.

"So what about you? You're 19 now right?"

"Yeah, I'm going back to visit the family this summer."

"That's good," was all I managed to say as the plane shuddered underneath me.

"How's Rebecca?"

"Hm? Oh, mom. Fine, I guess. Hasn't really been herself for the past couple of years."

I felt a pang of guilt at the mention of my mom. I'd left her all by herself.

"Why's that?"

I sighed as the plane steadied itself and looked up into his eyes.

"Didn't anyone tell you?"

He shook his head.

"My dad died. My freshman year."

His eyes widened.

"Dan? Oh, Elle, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'm better now."

Lie

I had been doing okay, until Evan...

William nodded, taking in the fact that I didn't want to talk about death.

With a sudden jolt, the plane bounced unexpectedly.

I squealed involuntarily and grasped William's arm tightly.

He laughed.

"I forgot that you didn't like airplanes," he said, happily, "You were always such a wuss."

"Me? What about you? Mr. Fear of everything?"

He pouted.

I realized that my hands were still tightly wound around his arm and I forced myself to release him.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked him, forcing myself to smile again, now that I remembered how.

He grinned back and held up a finger, while he dug around in his bag.

He pulled a magazine out and placed it in my lap.

"Woah."

There was William and 4 other guys pasted on the front cover of AP magazine.

"No way!" I gasped and flipped to the article and read about The Academy Is... making its way to the top of the pop punk charts.

I snickered.

"What?" he asked, his mouth pulling down at the corners in a glorious frown.

"Pop punk. Talk about a wuss! What happened to you?" I laughed, "Sell out."

He rolled his eyes.

"Well, we can't all be as hardcore as you El," he rolled his eyes. The way he said my name reminded me of someone I didn't want to remember, but still, didn't want to forget.

My dad.

God, how I missed him.

He and Evan both left gaping puncture wounds in my heart.

I realized the reason my chest was hurting so literally, was because I was holding my breath.

I drew in a ragged breath.

"You okay?" William asked, looking genuinly concerned. I nodded, momentarily speechless.

"J-just the plane," I muttered. He patted my arm gently, but I shyed away from his touch, even though I desperately needed the distraction.

"So, how's your family?" I asked, trying to put myself back together.

"They're fine," he said, eyeing me curiously.

He started talking about how he was arranging a second honeymoon for his parents and stuff like that.

"So, why are you going to live with Aunt Ruth?" he asked suddenly, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"I...uh..."

I stuttered while trying to find a suitable enough lie.

Then I noticed we were pelting towards the ground and focused on hyperventalating.

By the time we finally landed, William had deep red marks on his arm from my fingernails.

"I'm really sorry about aht," I told him, pointing at his arm.

He laughed.

"No problem," he shrugged, unloading both of our luggage.

"So, how are you getting to Aunt Ruthie's house?" William asked.

We were standing at the baggage claim, pulling our stuff off the spinning platform.

"A taxi," I shrugged. He frowned a little.

"That's a lot of money."

That confused me, Ruth lived not more than 15 minutes away.

"What do you mean?" I asked blankly.

"Oh, you don't know about her new house?" he asked, grinning.

I shook my head, even more confused.

When had she moved?

She must have forgotten to tell me.

That was exactly something aunt Ruth would do.

"Oh, man, wait till you see it," he laughed to himself, "I'd be more than happy to give you a ride."

I grinned.

"That sounds great."