Good Man

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
- William Shakespeare, Sonnet XVIII



April showers bring May flowers. Everything's coming up roses. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.

Ever notice how many quaint sayings involve the world's flora? Maybe there's something to flowers that makes a person feel more alive. And just who was the first to decide that giving flowers from one person to another was the thing to do on special occasions?

Happy Valentine's Day, I love you, here's some roses. Happy Easter and please accept this bouquet of lilies while I help myself to the candy in your kid's basket. Congratulations on your new baby; enjoy this vase of carnations sprinkled with smelly baby's breath. Happy anniversary, my beloved; are the flower petals on the bed blunt enough in regard to my intentions?

What about receiving flowers for no reason at all, but just 'cause? Like, for example, as a reminder that the special person in your life grows more and more special to you with each passing day.

On the morning of May 4th, Giselle was dressed in a pretty pink, sleeveless number with a blue, cotton sweater. On her feet were a delicate pair of blue sandals; the nails on her toes and fingers, matching the pink of her dress. The reasoning behind this color clash which she pulled off tastefully, was due to the fact that neither her or Tre knew the sex of their unborn child. At a little over seven months pregnant, they were just happy that Giselle had successfully carried their child this far.

As a way of letting his wife know just how grateful he was at their luck, he brought her home a different flower each day. Sometimes, he gave her carnations and, other times, daffodils. He stuck to the cliche bouquet of roses and lilies and tulips, while he occasionally walked off the beaten path and chose to present her with those kinds less expected to be given. Azaleas, hyacinth, poppies, lily of the valley. Shit, even the yellow and red snapdragons from their garden in the backyard.

Today, she was twirling around a single purple rose between her thumb and forefinger he had woken her up with. The purple signified the blend of mixing pink and blue together; in essence, once again, acknowledging their choice to not know the sex of their baby.

Standing in her kitchen, she smiled down at the uniquely colored rose although the smile was laced with doubt. A few feet away from her sat her older, biological sister, Ellis, who had been at her side since they first met; having reunited their bond which had been separated by thirty-one years. Ellis had jumped right into the position of proud, expecting aunt and devoted sister, making up for the years they'd lost. All of which had been a blessing to Giselle, considering the only sister she'd known all her life, Caroline, had been more or less absent after, as well as kept in the dark before, she learned she'd be an aunt.

Part of it was due to Caroline's grief which Giselle was greatly aware would not go away anytime soon, if ever. Part of it was how and when Caroline first found out. She'd felt betrayed by the secrecy, which both Giselle and Tre had come to regret deeply. The third part was Ellis. Giselle had already sensed the territorial threat Caroline was feeling in regard to Ellis. While Caroline was trying to deal with her own problems, children and life in general, it almost appeared as if Ellis was pushing her out of the picture with the notion of replacing her entirely.

Obviously this was not the case.

It was the last thing on Ellis' mind. She was well aware that Caroline had been Giselle's sister for thirty-one years, and knew she could never replace their bond; related by blood or not. Ellis also knew this was something that was grieving Giselle somewhat, as well.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ellis inquired, sitting at the kitchen table as she ran a pen over the checklist of things that need to be finished before the baby shower that afternoon.

Giselle half-shrugged. "Nothing really. Just, you know...Caroline. Today would've been Mike's forty-first birthday. I feel kind of selfish having my baby shower today. I mean, I don't even really need one. We can afford to buy all the things we need and want for the baby on our own..."

"It's more for the sake of tradition, though. No matter how much money you might have, people still wanna buy you something. It's no different from birthdays. You can have all the money in the world and your guests still come to your party with a gift in hand," Ellis replied, tapping her pen on the pad of yellow note paper. "As for Caroline, I would think that considering how far you say she's come with her grief in losing her husband, and how hard this day could be, the best thing for her would be coming to this party to take her mind off it all. Instead of focus on death and the loss of a loved one, focus on the hope this new life will bring to her and everyone else."

Giselle smirked and looked at her sister. "I thought I was the psychiatrist."

"Well, it doesn't take that much time for your -isms to rub off on a person. It's like the bubonic plague. You're infectious."

The pair giggled a bit as Tre entered the room rather quietly, which was a rare thing in itself. His blue eyes panned between his wife and new sister-in-law.

"The tent people are here," he announced, thumbing behind him. "I told them to go ahead and set it up where we talked about last night. The chairs and tables we rented are here too. Now, did you want the gift table off to the side of the head table where we'll be sitting with Care and Billie? Then we can have the other table's maybe angled diagonally so that they can have a better view of all the shit going on..."

Giselle just nodded. "Yeah. I drew you the layout, just go by that."

"But your drawing wasn't exactly to scale and I don't know if how you drew everything will fit."

"Well, improvise. That's your thing, not mine."

"True." Tre gave a quick nod, then headed out the back door onto the patio to inform the chair and table people how to set up everything.

Ellis and Tre would be setting up all the decorations afterward and Joanne, Giselle and Caroline's mom, would be arriving with the party favors she had put together upon arriving to California a few days prior.

Since retiring a couple of weeks ago, Paul and Joanne Woods had decided they wanted to make the move away from Raleigh, North Carolina to live in the Bay area near their daughters and grandchildren. It was too much on them to continuously travel back and forth from the East to the West coast to visit the lot of them. And they weren't getting any younger. So, Caroline and Giselle had gone in together within the last month to find the perfect house they knew they parents would enjoy, that was close by to both of their own homes, and then purchased it together.

Mortgage already paid off and the deed placed in both their parents' names, Paul and Joanne were already halfway moved in to their new home. After the baby shower they would have to return back to Raleigh to finish packing up the remaining items as well as finding a new buyer of the home they'd been living in for the last thirteen years, give or take.

"You excited for the party?" Ellis asked.

Giselle nodded her head. "Definitely. I've been to several baby showers before, but this is my first as the mother-to-be and I plan on having a few more showers like this." It was clear by the look in her eyes and the smiles on her lips that she was ecstatic at the notion of being a mother and looking forward to providing future brothers and sisters.

"So, you're nearing the eighth month mark. Have you any names picked out yet?"

"For a boy, yes," Giselle replied. "We decided on Ryan Michael, after Mike. It just felt like the right thing to do." Ellis nodded at this. "As for a girl, it's hard. We have a few first names we like but can't seem to agree on right now. The middle name is a for sure thing, though. Michaela. The feminine of Michael. Either way, we plan on honoring Mike."

"Caroline must feel honored as well that you're doing such a thing."

Flashing an impish smile at her older sister, Giselle twirled her purple rose a bit more. "Actually, it's a surprise, so hush up."



At three in the afternoon, Giselle's guests had already been at her baby shower for nearly two and a half hours. Due to lack of parking spaces due to the narrow driveway, most parked on the front lawn, carpooled or were simply dropped off by someone else to be picked up after the party was over. All had gifts in their hands. Not a single one came with just a card. Cards meant money or gift cards were sealed within, and The Wrights were not in need of receiving money being that already had bank accounts full of it.

Giselle had registered at Babies R' Us and Pottery Barn Baby. The most attainable and popular stores to purchase the necessities for the expected child. Also, the most affordable for those guests who weren't at the same salary level as, let's say, a filthy rich rock-n-roll drummer.

And there, parked on the lawn, sitting inside her jaguar, Caroline was listening to Hellogoodbye's "Here (In Your Arms)" while Ramona sat beside her, bopping her eighteen-year-old head to the music. Mikey and Chloe sat behind them, playing with each other, as they waited for the song to end and for their mommy to unhook them out of their carseats.

"I always liked this song," Ramona commented. When Caroline simply nodded, the teenager turned to look at her step-aunt's profile. "How come Estelle's not coming to the shower?"

Caroline turned and met the younger girl's gaze. "She wanted to, but she has a birthday party for a cousin on her mom's side she's obligated to go to over the shower," she explained. Thumbing toward the direction of the trunk, Caroline added, "One of the gifts in the trunk is from her, though. She said she wanted to come here more."

Ramona nodded, the song began to fade out, and Caroline turned the ignition off.

But neither moved.

Caroline looked down at her lap and her set of keys she was now holding in her hand. Ramona watched the older woman fiddle with them and tried to express a look of assurance while waiting for Caroline to notice it. When she did, Ramona smiled a bit.

"I won't tell anyone about you and Gerard," she spoke gently. "I know it's really none of their business anyway."

"Thank you."

"How, uh...how..."

"How what?"

"How long have you and him been seeing each other?" Ramona finally asked, deathly curious.

Raising her eyebrows in a bit of amusement and trying to be serious at the same time, Caroline simply shrugged. "I wouldn't exactly say we're 'seeing each other.' More like, well...you're eighteen. I don't have to glaze over the facts anymore. Gee and I, we're...well, we're kind of friends with benefits at the moment." With the words admitted and out there for the both of them to think over, Caroline continued a little further. "I'm not looking for a replacement for Mike, and I'm not trying to betray my marriage with him by taking up with another, I just..."

"Need someone to fill the void."

"In a sense, yes."

Ramona, sharing her father's humor and occasional lack of couth, chuckled briefly and then grinned. "Caroline's getting booty calls," she teased.

"Shut it," Caroline scolded, but with no actual threat behind it.

The pair smirked, then looked behind them at the toddlers. Unbuckling their seatbelts, the two females hopped out of the car and moved to open separate back doors to unhook Mikey and Chloe from their car-seats. Caroline took care of her son, while Ramona handled Chloe, who clung to her step-cousin like she did her big sister, Estelle.

Setting Mikey down on the lawn, Caroline moved to the trunk and opened it to retrieve all their gifts and carry them toward the party.

"Do you need help?" Ramona inquired.

"No," Caroline insisted. "I got it just fine."

"Sure?"

"Mmhmm."

The four of them all went around the side of the house and into the backyard where a huge, white party tent was set up in the very back of the yard, away from the pool which was closer to the house. Music was wafting through the air along with a cacophony of voices deep in several conversations.

As they neared the tent, Chloe went scampering ahead of them when she saw her Grandma Woods.

"Gamma!" Chloe called.

Joanne Woods turned and beamed upon seeing her granddaughter. Bending down and scooping her up, she showered the little brunette girl with kisses and a big hug to match.

"Oh, my special girl," Joanne cooed.

"Hi mom," Caroline smiled, juggling the gifts.

"Would you let me help you with those already?" Ramona laughed and snatching several boxes away from Caroline before she had time to protest.

"How are you, honey?" Joanne asked. She wasn't the only one who was aware that today would have been her departed son-in-law's birthday.

"I'm holding up," Caroline replied, and she wasn't lying. She was feeling okay with everything at present. Sometimes she had moments when she felt as if something heavy was laying on her chest that she couldn't remove, and then there were the moments she felt like it was just another Average Joe kind of day. "Where do the gifts go?"

Joanne directed her daughter, grandchildren and step-grandchild toward the table set aside for gifts and then it seemed as if everyone they ever seemed to know was crowded into this huge tent which now seemed not large enough.

When the gifts were set down, Caroline went over to Giselle who was very pregnant. Her blue sweater was sitting behind her on the back of the chair she was sitting in and the pink dress she wore made her look like a gumball. Beside her, Ellis sat like a dutiful sister, a pad of paper in her lap and a pen in her hand.

"Sorry we're late. I took Ramona and the kids to breakfast at Rudy's this morning and then had to drive out to Anastasia's to pick up Estelle's gift. She wanted me to tell you she wishes she could make it but had to go a cousin's birthday today."

"Oh, that's okay," Giselle assured. "I was beginning to wonder where you were, though. We already ate and had dessert but the caterers didn't put anything away yet so you can still grab some food if you want. We're about to open gifts now."

"Ah," was Caroline's only response as Mikey darted out in front of her feet, chasing after a bouncing ball that Uncle Billie had apparently just presented him with.

Caroline looked off toward Billie and Adrienne, the latter of which was bestowing Chloe with attention and a pink teddy bear.

Those two can't stop spoiling my kids, Caroline smirked.

"Yep, I've been designated to write down who gave what so Giselle can send out proper thank you notes," Ellis spoke up. She was trying to be friendly with Caroline but it was no easy task. Caroline virtually seemed set against not fully accepting the older woman.

"I was gonna have you do it, but I didn't think you were gonna get here soon enough," Giselle spoke.

Ellis suddenly felt awkward. "Did you wanna do it?" she asked of Caroline, offering up the pen and pad of paper.

Caroline shook her head and waved away objects Ellis was holding. "No, thanks. You have fun with that," she answered a bit coolly. Looking off toward where Ramona had found a seat, she moved off in that direction and sat down in the chair beside the girl who felt more like another stepdaughter at times.



As Giselle went through opening all her gifts and thanking each person upon seeing what she received, Caroline sat back, just watching. She was aware of what was going on, and yet she was also slipping in and out of daydreams. Watching someone opening gifts was a monotonous activity anyway and daydreaming was an escape from that as well as a deterrent from focusing on Ellis who she felt, at times, had usurped her.

In her daydreams, she thought about her two baby showers. The first one for Michael, Jr. and all the onesies she'd gotten, and all the things a first time mother would need. The second time around, for Chloe, it had been nothing but girl clothing and dolls since she already had all the important things from having Mikey. She remembered Mike pampering her in the days leading to the births of both their children, as well as during the entire course of each pregnancy.

He'd been so good to her and experiencing the creation of two lives with him had been so wonderful, and to think she'd never have any other children with him still flabbergasted her to this day and she doubted that it would ever be old hat.

She saw, in her mind's eye, Mike as sat on one end of the kitchen's tiled floor while Chloe took her first steps after first pulling her little body up with the help from the table's chair. Then there was the memory of him changing their diapers and then blowing loud raspberries on their bellies afterward as they giggled mercilessly.

Bittersweet thoughts as they were, Caroline's mind was unsure what to tell her body to do. Should she cry at recalling these images or not? And when the image of her and Gerard making love in her bed, which she'd shared with Mike so many times, entered her thought process, she felt her chest constrict. A lump formed in her throat and tears ached to free fall down her face.

Turning to Ramona and forcing a smile, she excused herself from the gift opening hootenanny with a simple excuse that she had to use the bathroom.

Only, that wasn't the case.

As soon as she was out of the party tent and inside Tre and her sister's house, she wandered into the living room and collapsed down onto the overstuffed couch and looked around slowly, taking in how Giselle had decorated the walls in a light tan color and photographs grouped meticulously in black frames from Pottery Barn.

Inhaling a deep breath, Caroline let it out quite unsteadily. Upon licking her lips and sensing it was safe, Caroline slowly began to allow her tears to seep out as she hunched forward slightly.

She was reminded of a song she had to sing in her fifth grade chorus once upon a time...

It's all right to cry. Crying gets the sad out of you. It's all right to cry. It makes you feel better.

But it didn't make her feel better.

Wiping the tears away in case someone walked in and wondered why she was gone so long, Caroline couldn't help but feel like a bad guy. Should she be getting involved with Gerard not even a year after her husband's death? Should they stay friends, and not friends with benefits? Or should she move on without thinking too much on it and see where the situation with Gerard would lead?

She was so damned confused, and it didn't help that Giselle was so easily happy today. Caroline wanted to be one hundred percent happy, too, but it was difficult.

Especially today. Today wasn't supposed to have been the baby shower for her unborn niece or nephew. It was supposed to have been Mike's forty-first birthday party.

Slow. Slow, fell her tears.

"Oh, Mike...what do I do?"