Good Man

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
- Gene Perret



Caroline Pritchard sat in her large, overstuffed chair facing the open window as a warm mid-May breeze wafted in and ruffled the ends of her dark brown hair. Staring out at the brightly, engorged moon, which seemed to be playing hide and seek between the branches of the large palm tree outside, she listened to the faint whispers of noise that was most likely the muffled sounds of cars in the distance. The remaining silence felt peaceful as her hazel eyes momentarily averted away from the moon and toward her bed where Gerard had been with her the night before.

Tonight, however, she made it clear to him she chose to be alone.

It was the sixteenth of May and it was supposed to be her fourth wedding anniversary. Four years ago, today, they abandoned their large ceremony to elope in Reno, Nevada.

Sometimes it felt as if it had happened just yesterday. Sometimes it felt like it had been eons.

"Care..."

Caroline could almost hear Mike's voice, as clear as day.

"With all my fragile heart I take you to be my wife. I will love you through the good and the bad, through the joy and the sorrow. I will try to be understanding, and to trust in you completely. I will make you a part of me and in turn, become a part of you. Together we will face all of life's experiences and share one another's dreams and goals. We will be equal partners in an open, honest relationship throughout the years. And the children we have together, along with the daughter I have, will live happily ever after..."

She smiled as she remembered the way Mike had looked when he had spoken his vows to her in the cheesy wedding chapel. He had been so handsome, so enamored with her. It made her heart swell.

Looking down at her lap, there lay a very full scrapbook. It was a scrapbook of pictures of just Mike and her, alongside trinkets and other memorabilia; sort of chronicling their journey together, as it were.

The very first page had a single picture; a Polaroid. Caroline was sitting on the couch behind the controls in a recording studio and she could just make out Rob's arm in one corner as Mike sat beside her, leaning forward and smiling with his hands clasped between his knees. Caroline, with her knees pulled up against her chest, and smiling as well at whoever it was that had taken the picture.

It was from the first time they'd ever met each other.

Caroline smiled distantly.

"Hi, I'm...um...Mike Dirnt."

"Hi, uh, yeah. I know who you are. I'm Caroline Woods."

Their introductions were made and their fates were sealed, unknown to them at the time.

A page or so later, was another photograph of the two of them in a studio, but this one was different in that it was not a Polaroid and it was taken some time later, obviously. They were sitting at the control panel together and, for some weird reason, you could see a sliver of Rob's arm again. It was during the recording of The Sinners' first album, when Nick, their original bassist, had broken his arm after his car accident. Mike was sitting in his place since the other musician was unable to play. And in this picture, they were smiling again, but there was something new in the atmosphere of it. They were closer, and it was clear they were aware of it on some subconscious level. It was as if they were drawn together like magnets.

Caroline smiled a little more at the next thought that entered her mind.

Their first kiss happened in that very studio.

As they kissed, Caroline and Mike stepped in time, backward for her, as she ended up against the studio door, her hands gripping his arms and arching further into his lips. His kiss. And shit, he could kiss.

"Caroline," he quietly moaned into her mouth.

A few more pages further into the scrapbook, Caroline let out a quiet chuckle. Grazing her hand over the three pictures situated on the twelve by twelve page, she lingered first on the one of Tre dressed as Cher and Giselle dressed as Sonny. This page was of Halloween '08, when the men dressed as famous women, and the women dressed as famous men. The second picture was that of Billie Joe and Adrienne as Marilyn Monroe and James Dean, respectively. The last picture had Mike, dressed as Caroline, bending forward with a hand to his mouth, pretending to be surprised while the real Caroline, dressed as Mike, stood behind him with her groin area pressed against his backside, pretending to grind into him.

Caroline laughed a bit louder at the memory of that night. Despite the hard feelings she'd had against Tre then, it had been a very good time.

Mike always seemed to make her feel better, no matter what was going on in her life. Even when she was mad at him, she still felt better with him near her.

Giving him a genuinely happy smile, she linked her fake-tattooed arm through his and looked up at him.

"What's with the loving smile, babe?" he questioned, though not really needing an answer.

"Because I'm in love with a very ugly woman and couldn't be happier."

Smiling back at her, Mike leaned down to her level a bit so that they could kiss.

"I love you too, my pretty little man, you."

Content with studying that page for as long as possible, Caroline flipped to a page later. It was from Christmas two years ago, and a candid shot someone had taken of them whilst obviously in the middle of conversation with someone out of view. Off to the side of the picture, was a Christmas card someone had sent them, angled out toward the right and then some stickers of Christmas ornaments and trees all over.

She loved the paparazzi photo of Mike and her as well. Whoever the photographer was had done a great job of catching them in such a sweet moment after leaving a store in Milan on one of their vacations alone together when Mike had returned for a short stint to his blonde phase. And what in the hell was he thinking, wearing that all-white outfit? Perhaps it was an Italian thing he got swept up by.

Though they were in Milan, when in Rome...

They had shared only a total of six years together, and although the number may seem small, it was enough to fulfill her for a lifetime.

Caroline had already decided, after Mike had died, that she would never marry again. Others had insisted that she would find love again and that, in time, she'd change her mind at the prospect of another marriage, but she was unwavering.

Since her quiet breakdown, out of earshot and sight at Giselle's baby shower nearly two weeks earlier, Caroline had come to agree only with the idea that she could someday love again. Not to the full extent that she loved Mike, but possibly in a separate way...in her own way. Until now, whatever she was doing with Gerard, she cared deeply for him; first and foremost as her friend. Anything beyond that was still up in the air.

Not to make him out to sound like a business you could look up in the yellow pages, but he provided a service. He was there for her, cared for her and loved her in a physical way that pleased her enough to continue with the affair. If he loved her more than the physical aspect and the friend aspect, Caroline was either unaware, ignorant, or she just downright didn't want to know.

She didn't want a boyfriend right now. She made sure he knew that, and he was alright with it. Hopefully.

Again, something she just didn't want to know. Well, okay, she'd want to know. She wouldn't want to carry on with their trysts if it was a hollow thing or if he was gonna want more. She couldn't put him through that; toying with him only to drop him like a hot potato.

Closing her scrapbook, Caroline stood up and set it on her bedside table and then climbed up into her solitary, king-size bed. Laying on her back and staring up at the underside of her canopy, she sighed as she focused once again on the distant murmur of late night traffic somewhere, out there, beyond her window.

In a perfect world, Mike would be laying beside her and they would be post-coital, having topped their anniversary off the best way possible.

But this wasn't a perfect world, and Mike was not laying beside her, panting for air after coming down from a natural high. He was gone, dead and nothing more than a jar full of ashes on the other bedside table on the opposite side of her bed.

Turning onto her left side and staring at the dark green, marble urn while the moonlight seeped into her darkened bedroom, Caroline curled up into the fetal position, pulled the top sheet over her body but only up to her waist and then continued to stare at the urn while alternating toward the framed photo of Mike and her, taken the year before.

After a while, her eyes drooped, her breathing steadied, and she fell asleep to a memory from far away in space and time.

Suddenly she began to smile like a fool which made Mike a little confused.

"What?" he asked, wondering if he had something on his face.

"Nothing. Well...I just can't believe I'm having an impromptu lunch date with Mike Dirnt," she replied, still smiling, and touching her tongue to her top row of teeth. Then her smile disappeared as it turned into a frown of embarrassment. "And I must sound like a retard."

"No," Mike insisted, giving his head a shake. "It's flattering. And kinda nice, too."

"Well, as long as you don't think I'm a retard..."

"Doubt I ever could."