Good Man

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone



With the first dusting of snow in Western New York, not only came colder weather and brisk winds, but the holiday season which began with Thanksgiving the month before, at the end of November. That Thursday in particular had been quite pleasant enough for Caroline and her children. They spent the day at Mike's biological mother Lucy's apartment in South Buffalo along with her other son; Mike's half-brother, Shawn. Caroline was able to meet some distant biological relations of Mike neither of them had met even when he was living, and she was able to sit back, stuff her face with good, home cooking and let her kids run around without having to worry about cleaning anything up.

Lucy had insisted on Caroline taking it easy; very excited at the idea of becoming a grandma again, but this time being there to get to know the child from birth on up. And, of course, she was under the impression that Caroline was pregnant by means of in vitro fertilization; having been impregnated by Mike's sperm, posthumously. Thinking another part of the son she had given up for adoption forty-one years before would grace the world was possibly the greatest gift she could receive.

The surprise of it all was that Caroline would not be bringing one child into this world, but two. A little over a month before, after going into her second trimester, she finally made a doctor's appointment and after a lecture from the doctor from putting off her prenatal checkups, she found out, via sonogram, that there were two heartbeats, meaning she would be expecting twins. And up till this point she hadn't told a soul. She wanted to keep it secret and wait for the right moment to spring it on her loved ones.

Thanksgiving wasn't the time.

The all-you-can-eat-until-you-fall-asleep-during-football holiday came and went within a matter of hours. The following day, Lucy took her grandbabies out shopping early the morning for Black Friday to hit up all the stores for all their sales, officially kickstarting the Christmas season.

That day, Caroline kept to herself in her house in Orchard Park. She made herself some pancakes around eleven in the morning and drenched them in organic butter and maple syrup. And chocolate chips and raisins. Her weird cravings were already in full swing. Somewhere after noon, she was drinking a warm cup of mint-flavored tea while watching a 'cake off' competition on the Food Network between four pastry chefs building kick ass cakes in order to win a 15,000 dollar grand prize. It had become one of her favorite shows to watch lately. By the time two came around, she was doing some Yoga. She had started practicing a couple months ago, wanting to maintain her body as best as she could even while pregnant. She tried to eat healthier, more organic fruits and whole grains and whatever. But sometimes the greasy Big Mac and salty fries were just too good to pass up.

As she found herself hunched over, on her tippy toes and her fingers splayed on the mat underneath her, her butt up in the air, amidst the Downward Dog pose, she turned her head toward the radio, as a Sinners song came on.

It made her smile. It wasn't a sad smile, and it wasn't a happy one either. Rueful, might be the right word to describe it. And maybe it wasn't. Thoughtful, perhaps?

She swayed her hips from side to side to the beat of the music and gradually sank to her knees and slowly stood up straight. She cracked her head from side to side and yawned.

It was three o'clock now.



Crystal, Joey's girl on the side was sitting on her kitchenette countertop; legs crossed at the ankles, a bag of Lays potato chips in her lap as she fed her vexed face. Occasionally she glanced at her cell phone, lying on her table. Emitting air from her nose as she chewed her salty, greasy snack, the nineteen-year-old tipped her head back and closed her eyes shut tight. Her mind was reeling with too many thoughts and her stomach was in knots, and not because she was devouring the entire bag of chips.

She was nervous, scared, worried, angry and, a for some reason, a tiny bit excited.

Opening up her blue eyes and looking straight in front of her at the fridge, she was staring at a picture of her and Joey smooching on her couch.

A wave of contentment and fear ran up her spine and she abruptly closed the bag of chips, set them down on the countertop beside her and slid off to touch down to the floor and making a beeline for her cell phone.

Flipping it open, she began to dial Joey's number, but after one ring, she hung up.

"Fuck," she grumbled as she crouched down to the floor, burying her face in her hands.

* * *

On Christmas Eve, Ellis found herself sitting by herself at a bar outside Vacaville. She had been returning back to the Bay area from Sacramento, where her foundation had donated $250,000 to UC Davis Children's Hospital to help them attain better equipment for their - Northern California's only - Level 1 pediatric trauma center.

Now she was nursing a dry vodka martini, dunking her olive in and out of the clear liquor, having just inhaled the pimento, while she looked up at the television mounted to the ceiling behind the bar.

How odd for a bar to be playing the stop animation classic of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer instead of the atypical sports game.

It was still early on in the evening and she had plenty of time to return to Tre's house. Even though she was staying in the guest house for most of the time, when not at her hotel suite in the city, she didn't feel at home. At either places, really. And it wasn't because she had lived in Manhattan since she was five years old. It was because the home and the hotel weren't hers. She didn't own them, didn't choose the decor.

She was just a guest, a visitor in Tre's house and the hotel.

Ellis was contemplating when and where to buy a home of her own in the Bay area. She was thinking sometime after the new year, once the holidays were over and life was back to being considerably less insane. All she needed was room enough for her and her niece Avarielle, when she would look after the child.

She was six months now and getting bigger every day. She wasn't exactly crawling just yet, but already able to pull herself up to her knees and roll over and over and over. And she was no longer getting her only source of nutrition from the bottle. She had finally moved onto jars of baby food. Her favorite flavor was strawberry banana, and she hated green beans.

The thought of her niece warmed Ellis' heart. She couldn't wait to get back to Tre's just to see her. She had bought the girl so many gifts already, and even though she was only six months old and too young to grasp Christmas and opening gifts, it still would be a wonderful experience.

Ellis looked down at her drink, smiled and brought the glass to her lips. In a few, quick gulps, she downed the drink in about thirty seconds and then paid her tab to the bartender. Outside the bar, her hired driver was waiting for her. She still didn't know her way around the Bay and outer areas of Northern California, so she didn't trust herself to drive on her own. Hence, a hired car.

Hopping into the backseat, she told the driver to take her back to Tre's and find a radio station playing Christmas songs.

As Paul McCartney's "Christmas Time" wafted through the speakers, Ellis smiled to herself as she looked out the window at the scenery rolling by.



Meanwhile, across the country, in Buffalo, New York, Caroline was waddling around her kitchen with one hand carrying a large punch bowl and the other carrying a large jug of eggnog. Behind her, Mikey was bouncing up and down, exclaiming he wanted to taste the eggnog. The voices of her sister Timmy, brother-in-law Seth, biological father Alex, mother-in-law Lucy and Mike's half brother Shawn wafted through the air like a cacophony of melodies. As she set the bowl down and began to pour the thick, taupe-colored liquid into the bowl, she stopped what she was doing quite suddenly.

Setting the jug down on the table, she placed both hands to her stomach as her children inside her moved around, as if possibly playing with each other, or maybe trying to get her attention for some reason.

Caroline looked down, told Mikey to go in the other room, and patted her stomach. "Play nice in there, you two."

Returning to pouring the rest of the eggnog, she threw the jug away afterward and then waddled into the dining room and then to the living room where everyone had congregated. Her father held Chloe on his lap, bouncing her up and down like she was riding a horse and Seth was on all fours, preparing to give Mikey a ride on his back. Then there was Shawn who was sitting beside Alex, jabbing Chloe playfully in the ribs while Lucy and Timmy shared the loveseat.

When Caroline entered the room, with a stomach looking like it was a water balloon nearing its limit for waterspace. She was tired but contented to have her immediate family there; adoptive parents aside. She wasn't much in contact with them these days. Especially with her up and leaving California, not long after they made the move to live there permanently. But it wasn't as if they were without family to be around for the holidays.

Paul and Joanne Woods had their son-in-law Tre, their baby granddaughter Avarielle, Giselle's biological sister Ellis, and Tre's other two children from his first two marriages, Ramona and Frankito, which made them Paul and Joanne's step-grandchildren.

Timmy looked up at Caroline as she neared, dangling an empty cup on her finger while holding her cell phone in her other hand. "Is the eggnog ready?"

Caroline nodded. "Yep. hard work; me slaving away in the kitchen over a store-bought jug of nog."

Alex looked up at his oldest daughter and smiled, whispering in his granddaughter's ear. "Your mother is silly, isn't she?"

Chloe followed her grandfather's gaze toward her mother, giggled and nodded as she smiled as well. Timmy looked between the mother and daughter duo and then settled on Caroline once more.

"Did you drink all the nog yourself, 'cause damn...you are so fat." She followed up the teasing comment with a coy smirk as Caroline simply stood there in the archway between the living room and dining room.

Everyone's gaze seemed to find their way to the widowed, pregnant woman, like ships in the night finding their way to the beacon of light.

"Is something up?" Seth wondered.

Caroline nodded. "Yeah, uh..." she began. "I was waiting for the right time to tell everyone, and what better time than Christmas, right?"

"Tell us what?" Lucy questioned. "Did you buy everyone a new car? 'Cause I could use a new one."

Letting out a small laugh, Caroline shook her head. "Sorry, but no." She looked at each person and then clapped her hands gently over her stomach. "It's about my pregnancy. I'm, uh...not having one baby." She paused for effect. "I'm having twins."

Everyone sat there stunned for a moment, or at least mildly surprised. Then the voices rang out all at once, congratulating her, asking her how long she'd known, if she had decided to find out what the sex of the babies were. Her answers were: thank you, two months, and no, because she wanted to be surprised.

They received hugs, kisses and she felt content all over. She smiled upon all her family and her one, solitary thought to herself at that moment was: Merry Christmas, Mike.



Sitting in her parent's kitchen in Palo Alto, Crystal plugged on ear with a finger as she held her cell phone up to her free ear. She was listening to the sound of ringing while tuning out the noise of her family, gathered for the holiday.

She had been holding back tears all night, throwing on a brave face for everyone with knowing or realizing anything was wrong with her.

When the voicemail kicked in, she frowned and sighed heavily.

"Hey, Joey, I know it's been a couple weeks since we talked last or even seen each other. I'm sorry I avoided all your calls, but I've been trying to come to terms with a recent development and since I hate confrontation, and even though it's a cop out, I have to tell you this by phone."

Crystal sighed again, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"Joey...I'm pregnant."