I'll See You in My Dreams

Once Alice and I reached my bedroom she demanded to be caught up on the last hour, I was more than happy to fill her in; I needed her opinion on Jasper’s behavior.

“It’s love!” She proclaimed falling back onto my bed dramatically, clutching a hand over her heart. The idea of his love was dizzying, and infecting me with happiness I didn’t know existed. It was cut short when I realized that there’s no way he could love me, I’d only been here a week.

“He was probably just being nice, I had called his name. Maybe he felt obligated.” I mumbled joining Alice on the bed.

“No way in hell Angie, he was going to tear Bella apart if she got close enough to you.” She whispered low enough so none of the other vampires in the house would hear. “And for God’s sake he growled at me, and then had me forcibly relocated downstairs just because you called his name during a nightmare. I love you, but come on now don’t be one of those girls who reject the man they want’s love just because they feel inadequate, and for the record you’re completely adequate. One of the most gifted vampires in - well probably in the world, and not to mention you’re a total knockout. I’m not telling you to go jump his bones, but at least open yourself up the possibility that the man of your dreams, literally, returns your feelings.”

I mulled over her words, and turn to gaze at her. “Can’t you just tell me if you see us together in the future?” I asked wanting more concrete evidence.

“That my dear would require you to stop being such a pansy and make a decision on how you’re going to handle this.” She said rolling her eyes.

I tried it as well and saw that she was right. “Damn.”

“I’m out of motivational speeches; can you just realize he cares about you now?” Alice whined hitting me in the arm gently.

Laughing I replied, “Sorry, it’s all just so crazy; I’m still trying to process it. He’s just so fantastic, and real. It’s intimidating on a new level; I’ve been detached from emotions for so long, trying to survive.”

“Well you’re going to have to get used to them again, and maybe then you’ll realize how stupid you’re being.” She said looking at me with a smile.

**

I stared at the door in front of me, wondering if I knock or just walk in. He probably caught my scent and knows I’m here. I raised my fist to knock when he called out, “Come in.”

Slowly I lowered my hand to the doorknob, nerves hitting me all of a sudden. Applying small pressure I opened the door slowly and stepped into the small cottage. I took in the fairytale like essence and found it rather charming.

“What can I do for you Evangaline?” Edward asked rising from his seat on a nearby chair, his confusion palpable even without my new gift.

“I just wanted to apologize for earlier, I - ” He silenced me with a raise of his hand, and a shake of his head.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He said, “Bella overreacted, and it blew out of proportion because she’s still only a newborn.”

“I’m just glad that it’s all resolved.” I said feeling relieved this went well.

“I would like to speak to you about something though.” He said slowly.

“Sure, what is it?” I asked; glad to deviate from the previous topic.

“It’s about Jasper.” He said uneasily

“Oh, okay. What about Jasper?” I asked curious of where this was leading to. Edward shifted his weight uncomfortably, making me anxious. He met my gaze and I could feel how awkward this was for him. I urged him on with my eyes.

“I…I can tell that Jasper…cares for you, and I just want to make sure that you don’t hurt my brother. He’s had more than a fair share of pain in his existence and doesn’t deserve any more.” He said gaining confidence as he spoke. I sensed his sincerity, and felt the deep bond he shared with his brother. It was amazing to me how these vampires were truly a family with a deep love for one another.

“Edward I have absolutely no intention to harm Jasper in any way, ever.” I said with confidence.

“You know,” He said taking a step closer to me, “I’ve seen Jasper fight and I’ve seen him hunt, so I can honestly say that I’ve never seen him more fiercely protective than he was earlier today.” I let his words sink in; embracing the truth that Jasper actually cares for me. Before I could respond Edward quickly continued, “Do what you will with that information, and I hold you to your words today.”

I nodded, still reeling from the information and feeling dazed with happiness. He smiled knowingly at my distant eyes. “Go.” He said.

I didn’t have to be told more than once. Beaming at Edward I dashed from the cottage funning with blinding speed, enjoying the release of raw power from my legs. I reached to main house in nearly no time at all, slowing my pace to a walk and entering the house. Renesmee waved at me from her mother’s lap, I sent her a smile and wave ignoring Bella’s glare.

“Hello Evangaline.” Rosalie smiled at me coming into the living room from the kitchen. “Beautiful necklace.”

“Thanks, it’s the one you helped me pick out.” I laughed grabbing at my necklace.

“Oh I know, I have great taste.” Rosalie smirked gently folding herself onto the loveseat.

“I won’t argue with that.” I said smiling at her.

“A good choice.” She said.

“Hey, have you seen Jasper?” I asked attempting nonchalance.

Rosalie just smiled to herself and said, “Yeah he’s up in his room.”

“Thanks.” I said trying not to run up the stairs as fast as I wanted to.

When I reached the hallway I saw that Jasper’s bedroom door was slightly ajar, I peaked in and saw him curled up on a couch watching the river from a massive floor to ceiling window. I felt his serenity and started to back away not wanting to disturb him.

“Don’t leave.” He whispered turning his head to look at me. His gaze met mine and drew me to his side before I really had tome to process it. I smiled at him sheepishly and he patted the spot next to him on the couch. I lowered myself next to him as gracefully as I could, tucking my legs underneath me.

“I sit up here sometimes to think. The river is so soothing, it helps me sort out my thoughts and just escape for a while.” He told me, eyes fixed outside. His features were smooth, and still as marble, his gold eyes caught the reflection off the water and made them gleam. He was breath taking.

I tore my gaze from him and onto my fidgeting hands; I wanted to ask him so many questions about how he felt towards me. He looked at me concerned by my anxiety. “What’s wrong?” He asked softly reaching his arm out to put his hand on mine. Mid way his arm caught the light from the window and it accentuated the scars that spread over his forearm. I reached out and traced them lightly with my fingers cradling his arm with my other hand.

“How did all these happen?” I asked softy looking up at him.

Pain struck his features when he answered. “My past isn’t something that I’m proud of.”

Go on I urged him mentally.

He took a deep breath and continued. “I joined the confederate army when I was only 17; I moved up the ranks quickly. I became the youngest major in the Texas Calvary, that was until the night that I met Maria. She turned me in hopes that I would be of use to her in the war for hunting territories in the south. She manipulated me, claiming she loved me so that I would lead and control her newborn armies in training and in battle. My gift was particularly…useful to her cause; she never let newborns that weren’t of use live past their first year. I was responsible for disposal; I felt every emotion of my victim as I killed them. Eventually I befriended a newborn named Peter, and when Maria ordered me to kill him I convinced her to spare him, much to her distain. Soon after Peter fell in love with another newborn named Charlotte, when she was to be killed they ran, and I let them. Maria’s true intentions came through then, she was disgusted with me for being so weak. It was then I realized that she never loved me, I was destroyed by the revelation. I lost all the purpose I thought I had in my life. The depression of feeling my victim’s emotions was getting to me; I was desperate for a way out. Thankfully Peter and Charlotte came back to tell me of the Northern clans who live together harmoniously and begged me to go with them, which I decided to do. We lived as nomads for years until I felt I had to leave and go off on my own. I was still miserable; I couldn’t hunt without feeling every emotion of my victim. I tried to hunt less often but the bloodlust became unbearable and I became this horrible savage. In 1950 I met Carlisle Cullen in Philadelphia, he told me about feeding off of animals instead of humans and learning to curb my appetite. He asked me to join his family and I did, never looking back. Sometimes I still feel the animal rise in me, and then I look at these scars. They remind me of who I was, what I’ve done, and what I’ll never be again.”

I watched Jasper still awed at all he had to overcome to get where he was. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, still processing the massive amount of information that I had just received. Jasper took my silence negatively and ripped his body off the couch, darting to the window.

“Great.” He seethed, “You think I’m a monster, my past is what I strive against now. I can’t escape it no matter how hard I try at being better.” He turned to me clearly distraught; I tore away from the couch as fast as I could and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I could never think of you as a monster. You didn’t have any control over what happened to you, it was the only way you knew how to live. You’re changed now, no matter how hard it is for you sometimes you’re doing the right thing, you’re good now Jasper.” I said gripping him tightly, sending out the pride and adoration I felt for him. He took refuge in it, his body visibly relaxing and the lines of anger in his face disappearing all together. He gazed at me before wrapping his arms around me in an embrace. I locked my arms around his neck never wanting to let go and lose the wonderful sensation thrumming through my body. He looked sheepish as he pulled away from the embrace, instantly alerting me that this sort of physicality is uncommon for him. It gave me a deeper appreciation for it.

“I’m sorry.” Jasper said taking another step back. “That was invasive, I…I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s fine Jasper, it wasn’t invasive in the slightest.” I reassured him with a smile. He looked relieved at the news.

We stood there for a moment, before Jasper spoke again. “Evangaline.”

“Yes?”

“I have to know the real reason you came here.” He said eyes still fixed on my face.

I had two options: Lie, and continue to tell him that he wasn’t the sole reason Alice and I are in this home, or tell him everything and make myself vulnerable. Vulnerability isn’t a luxury I could or would have embraced months before, but here I am now with this magnificent creature slowly breaking down every wall that I worked my entire existence to create, a fact that I was surprising willing to accept. I answered him in a voice that was strong and assured, “You, it was you that brought me here.”