Remodelling the Wreckage of My Past

I saw Dad leaving the room slowly. I blinked and then turned to face my mother.

“Dad…” I managed to say, my voice hoarse. She nodded and left the room in the blink of an eye. I tried to sit up on the bed so I could see what was happening around me. Angelina smiled and grabbed a little remote and slowly, the bed move and I was no longer lying down. I gave her a thumb up, not trusting my voice at the moment.

As I looked around the room, my eyes landed on Billy. He was sitting rather uncomfortably on the chair and was looking at the door, probably waiting for Mum’s return.

Thinking of Mum, I’d have a hell lot of apologized and explaining to do… The best start should probably be apologizing to Billy. I took a deep breath and turned my head to look at Billy.

“I’m sorry Billy. For everything.” I managed to say, my throat hurting. He looked surprised for a second, but he quickly regained composure and smiled at me.

“You’re forgiven Aiden.” He replied, with the same smile, a real one. It took me long enough to realize that Billy wasn’t as horrible as I thought he was, but better later than never, right?

As my parents entered the room again, I felt a tight grip on my heart as I looked at my mother. She looked she was carrying the world on her shoulders, and I felt bad. It was my fault.

“Mum, I…” I started but she raised her hand.

“You need to rest Aiden, okay? Just sleep and I promise we will talk. Just rest for now, alright?” she asked, a tired smile on her face. Then I asked the question that had been on my mind since I first open my eyes and the first thing I saw was her.

“Are you back for good?” I managed to ask, my voice sounding all weird.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” She whispered. “I’ll be here.” I nodded slowly and the bed went back in its original place, I was lying down again. She grabbed Dad by the wrist and they both sat down next to my bed. Mum had Celia on her lap, Billy had his arms wrapped around Angelina’s shoulder and Dad was looking at me.

We make small chat, probably trying to take my mind off what had happened. Dad and Mum were talking about some old videos they had watched while they were in Baltimore.

“You were one of a kind…” said Dad with a nod. Mum just smiled and squeezed my hand. After a while, Billy, Dad, Angelina and Celia all left to go and grab something to eat or drink while Mum decided to stay here, by my sides.

My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I would fall asleep again. So it was now or never.

“Mum?”

She looked up and immediately got up, handing me a glass of water. I drank some and she put the glass back on the little table.

“Mum, I didn’t do it.” I said. She looked at me with her hazel eyes and smiled.

“I know Aiden, I know.” As she placed a soft kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, comforted by the thought that my mother was by my side.

**

Lyn’s POV

We all stayed in the room, waiting for Aiden to fall asleep. There was no chance I was going to leave him alone. I was going to stay there until the doctor will come and tell me Aiden could leave. I wasn’t the one for hospital, the smell of medications, cleaning products and death was too much for me but Aiden was here.

Brian, Billy, Angie and Celia left to go eat something and I stayed there. Because that’s where I was supposed to be. I fucked up once, not being here for my kids. I wasn’t going to fuck up twice. My pride was something, my kids were way more important.

“Mum?”

I immediately snapped out of my thoughts and gave Aiden some water. He drank some and I placed the glass back on the bedside table, my hand still holding his.

“Mum, I didn’t do it.” He said.

My heart missed a beat, hearing the thing I wanted to hear. I knew Aiden never tried to kill himself by popping pills, but it felt good when his words left his mouth.

“I know Aiden, I know.” And with that, he closed his eyes. Slowly drifting off to sleep.

I took Brian’s Ipod from the bedside table and put the earphones in my ears.
I didn’t feel like hearing the heart monitor or whatever it was, still afraid it was going to stop at any moment. I looked through all the shit Brian had on his Ipod, but it was majorly good stuff. What caught my eyes though, were the Perfect Nightmare files, because there was one with my name and the other with Nathalie’s. I decided to listen to their latest album, with Nathalie as the singer.
After the first two songs, I had made my opinion. Her voice was great, you couldn’t deny that, but it was more like a Mariah Carey or Beyoncé type of voice, it just didn’t sound right mixed with guitar riffs and Ash’s crazy drums beat.

“Sorry we took so long.” Apologized Brian as they all came back in the small room. “We were talking with the doctor.” He explained. I took off the earphones and nodded, wanting him to continue.

“He said Aiden might be able to leave tomorrow.” Added Billy. I let out a sigh of relief, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you God’ in the process.

Then Brian and Billy exchanged a look. The kind of look that mean they had talked together about something and wanted your input but couldn’t think of any way to ask it.

“Okay… What?” I asked, placing the Ipod back on the table. “What did you talked about while you were getting something to eat?” I asked.

“We got you coke and skittles!” said Celia as she let go of Billy’s hand and ran to me. She jumped on my lap and nearly shoved the can of coke in my nose. I laughed.

“Thank you munchkin.” I said, kissing her nose.

“And I told Dad and Billy that you needed something more consistent.” Added Angelina as she went to sit on the armrest and gave me a sandwich.

“Thanks.” I said, wrapping my free arm around her shoulder and brought her closer so I could kiss her cheek. She smiled and rested her head on my shoulder.

“You are going to squash your mother!” said Billy, and Brian laughed. I stuck my tongue out at the both of them.

“Do not change the subject, what were you talking about?” I asked again, putting the food and drink on the table so I could hug my children without letting go of Aiden’s hand. Let’s just say that it wasn’t an easy thing to do…

“About what was going to happen once Aiden will be out of the hospital.” Said Billy, glancing at Syn.

“And?”

“Well, are you going to stay in Huntington Beach? Are you going back to Baltimore, you know that kind of things…” said Billy, while Brian shoved his hands in his pockets, glancing at Billy.

What the fuck…

“Well, I’m going to stay in HB for a while I guess…” I replied slowly.

“Okay, where?” asked Billy. I blinked.

“Well, probably at my parents or something, what’s up with all the questions?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at the two men standing in front of me.

“Gates got an idea.” Said Billy, pointing at Syn. I looked at Billy, he looked almost pissed off? Nah, why would Billy be pissed off?

“Alright?” I asked, then looked at Brian, waiting for him to speak.

“Well, since Aiden will be off medications and since I’ll be going on tour in a month or so, I thought it’d be nice to spend some times with the kids…” he said.

“Totally agree with you.” Said Angelina, with a bright smile. Celia glanced at her older sister and clapped in her hands. I chuckled.

“So… I was thinking, instead of picking the kids up in the morning and brining them back in the evening and not having Celia with us, that… maybe… youcouldmoveinwithmeandnat?”

“What was that?” I asked, looking at Billy then at Brian, hoping he was going to repeat himself more slowly, so I could actually understand him.

“Maybe, you and the kids could move in with me and Nat? So we can all send some times together, as a family?” he asked, fidgeting with the hem of his T-shirt. I couldn’t possibly scare him that much that he was afraid to look at me, right?
As the word ‘family’ escaped Brian’s lips, I swear I heard Bill huffed. But when I looked at him, he acted like nothing had happened.

“Hum…You sure Nat doesn’t mind having four people in her house?” I asked slowly, while glancing at Billy and Angelina, hoping she was going to keep her mouth shut until I gave them my answer.

“First, it’s my house, second: I asked her, she understands it’s best for Aiden and thirdly: you will have your own room and it’s not perpetual, I mean it’s only for a month or so, ya know?” said Brian, looking at Aiden’s sleeping form and then back at me. Me? I was watching my boyfriend, expecting his input in the situation.

“Billy?” I asked.

“As you want Lyn” he said, but the tone of his voice made me cringe slightly. What was up his ass today?

“Alright then, I think it’s not a bad idea. I’m moving in…”