A Unique and Torn Romance

When the show is over, the boxes are empty. Bob starts gathering them up by stuffing one into the other, and I start doing the same. In the end, Bob grabs the ones I’ve gathered out of my hands and stands up.

“I’m gonna go throw these out. Wanna go to bed now?” I nod and can’t fight the yawn that attacks me out of nowhere.
Bob grins.
“Alright. You can go brush your teeth. I’ll be back in a sec.” I nod with my eyes still closed and my mouth still wide open.
Bob grins again and walks away.

I get onto my feet and walk into the bathroom. I find a single toothbrush in a mug and quickly brush my teeth with Bob’s toothbrush, before I walk back out into the room.
Bob is fiddling with a t-shirt – trying to find what’s up and down on it. I gulp at the sight of his perfectly sculptured, bare chest.

When it disappears behind the t-shirt, I feel disappointed. Bob looks up at me and smiles softly, before he walks past me and into the bathroom.
I go sit down on his bed and wait for him to come back out. I stare down at the carpet and try to get the image of Bob’s chest out of my head, but I can’t. It’s burned into my corneas. It’s permanent. It’s hot.

“We’re gonna have to share my bed.” My head shoots up at his sudden words.
“It’s the only one I have.” He smiles apologetic.

“Oh! That’s okay!” My voice is a bit too eager. Fuck me!

“Alright,” Bob grins and walks towards me. I gulp.
He walks past me and lifts up the covers for his bed. He crawls underneath them and I slowly get off the bed and follow him.
When we both lie down on our backs with all four hands on top of the covers, Bob reaches for the lamp.
“Goodnight,” he says quietly and turns off the light.

“Night,” I whisper, but feel like a total dork as I do.
The rooms fills with silence.
We lie right next to each other – on our backs with our arms crossed on our chests so we don’t accidentally touch each other in any way.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that you can cut the tension with a knife. Or that you can grab a spoonful of it and break a tooth on it.
My teeth are hurting just from inhaling it through my nose.
Bob shifts around a bit, obviously to get comfortable – which is impossible – and bumps his shoulder against mine.

“Sorry,” he whispers quickly.

“It’s okay,” I whisper back and wait for him to settle down, but he only lies still for a few seconds before he shifts again and turns onto his side.

“Sorry.” I look down at him, and his big, blue eyes are shining through the dark.
“I just can’t sleep on my back.” His teeth glisten in the slight light, which I’m guessing is coming from the street lights outside his window.

“It’s cool,” I whisper, yet half of it is swallowed when a car or large truck or something like that drives by outside his window.
I can’t help but wonder.
“Why don’t you sleep in one of the empty rooms facing the backyard? Isn’t it quieter?” And I can’t help but ask.
I feel kinda stupid and really, really guilty when Bob obviously hesitates. I want to tell him not to answer, but the silence makes me hesitate – just like him.
He’s the first to break free of his worries.

“I just haven’t gotten used to the fact that my parents aren’t across the hall anymore.” His words are like stabs to the heart. I can feel my own ache in my chest.
I can’t ever imagine being left behind like that – being abandoned.
“Plus, this has always been my room. I’m used to the noise by now.” Without noticing myself ever looking away, I look back at him to see him smiling lightly.
I can’t believe that he can actually be happy in a situation like this.
But then again, I can’t seem to be happy in any given situation.

“Sorry,” I whisper sadly to his smiling mouth.

“It’s okay.”
The silence returns like a giant brick wall and I hit it with what feel like 90 mph. It presses against my chest and makes it hard to breathe. My neck suddenly feels coiled. My legs feel numb.
“Do you always wear your hat to bed?” The comforting rings of blue returns into my field of vision just as the last piece of the wall of silence crumbles into invisible shards.
I grin.

“No.”

“Then why don’t you take it off?”
My grinning stops immediately. I stare into his eyes to see that he is completely serious – and prepared. The security and sparks of stubbornness that is reflected in his eyes are enough to answer my unasked question, ‘are you sure?’
The sheets ruffling is the only sound that can be heard in the room as my limp hand slides up my body and settle on my head – my hat.

Bob expression doesn’t change, so I tug.

As the last bit of fabric of my hat leaves my head, I see a small glisten of shock in Bob’s eyes before I close my eyes to avoid the terror and disgust that is bound to follow.
I can hear Bob’s heavy breathing as I feel my horn slowly unfold – untangling itself out of my hair and stretch towards the sky.
Bob’s breath suddenly hitches, and I flinch at the sound.
He’s disgusted. I can feel his eyes on me and that, and I just know that those beautiful blues are filled with repulse.

I don’t even hear or sense his hand come closer, until he touches my horn.
I flinch back and almost fall out of the bed. My eyes fly open and I see his eyes stare at me.
There’s still a slight bit of shock evident in them, but it’s almost fully submerged by astonishment, amazement and. . .lust.
Bob swallows hard.

“Wow,” he says briefly.
I stare at him in disbelief as he continues to stare back – completely dazzled. His eyes keep shifting from my horn, eyes and lips in random order.
In the end, his eyes stay on my horn.

“You don’t think it’s disgusting?” His eyes doesn’t pull away from my horn and he slowly shakes his head – his pillow ruffling and crackling from his movements.

“It’s,” he says, but stops himself to breathe slowly.
I wait in something of a mix between fear and anxiety. My body stays tense – my fists clenched.
“It’s oddly-“ he stops again.
My own breathing has increased as I await his judgment.
“It’s attractive.”
My body relaxes, but I don’t feel happy by any means.
What a horrible lie to tell someone who tried to kill themselves just one day ago.
I bow my head in defeat and slide further away from Bob until my butt is hanging off the mattress.

“I’m gonna leave,” I whisper before I lift the sheets off my body, but Bob grabs my wrist firmly to stop me.
I do.
My eyes meet his.

“Don’t.” He sounds distressed – desperate, actually.
His eyes flicker with lust, hurt and desperation as they bore into me.
“Please, don’t leave?” Those flickers combined with those words makes my own feelings crumble away, and I relax onto the mattress again like a lifeless ragdoll in a tight embrace.

Bob tugs at my arm, and without a moment of resistance I scoot closer to his dark frame.
My eyes have never left his deep blues, and they have never left mine.

“Would you hold me?” His question is barely even a whisper, and I have to look at his lips to make sure I understand what he’s asking. ‘Would you hold me?’
I don’t nod. I don’t answer him. I only respond.

I scoot as close to him as I can and softly wrap my arms around his wider frame. He feels too big for my arms to hold, but as soon as his warm breath hits my neck and one of his hands settle on my waist, it all seems too perfect to ever break.
Crowbars would melt if they tried to tear us apart.
At first, I feel something hard against my thigh, but it slowly softens along with Bob’s breaths.

“Night,” I whisper softly, before I close my eyes – ready to sleep peacefully for the first time in years.

“Nigh’,” Bob mumbles against my skin, and I can almost feel his lips brush against me, but I can’t. It’s nothing but his hot breath, which nonetheless leaves me fully relaxed and sleepy.
“Your horn really is arousing,” are Bob’s last words, before a small snore escapes his throat to signal that he’s fully asleep.
A smile fights its way onto my lazy lips, before sleep takes over my body.