Our Disappointed Hearts

Once I returned home safely I found the house to be dark and empty, there was no life here, other than myself. My mother still hadn't come home from work, and most likely wouldn't tonight. I went straight to my room, not wanting to think or feel anything, just sleep. My exhausted body needed it. I would eat in the morning, and I would feel rejuvenated and revived then. As I climbed the steps to the second floor of the house on which my bedroom was located, my eyelids slowly became heavier and heavier. It was a sure sign that my body was close to passing out again, and as soon as I reached my bed and climbed upon it, I slowly began to drift off. One of the greatest feelings in the world, when you're exhausted.
Dreamland was opening its doors to me when the loud, familiar sound of the house telephone rang, which then shut the doors of dreamland and pushed me back into reality. My body refused to respond until the third ring, and I slowly dragged myself to the bedside table next to my bed where the telephone was located. On about the fifth ring I managed to grab hold of it, pull it to my body, and push the green answer button.
“Hello?” I imagine my voice was groggy and croaky, and I cleared my throat after answering to prevent future sentences from sounding the same.
“Vada? It's your mother. Look, we had an emergency here tonight, and I'm probably going to be stuck here until later tomorrow.”
“Okay, that's fine, I'm just going to school tomorrow anyways. So, I'll see you-”
“-Well, I know you're probably tired and I'm sorry if I woke you, but I need you to come by the hospital for me and bring me the files I left on the table this morning. I was reviewing them for an operation and I forgot them, and I need them.”
“Oh” I said, disheartened, I was so tired.. I really didn't feel like driving. “Yeah, I'll bring them now. What wing are you in tonight?” I sighed and rubbed my face, knowing I had no choice.
“I'll probably be in B, okay? Thank you so much, I'll write you a pass to get out of school or something if you want so you can sleep the day off.”
“No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll be there in a bit.”
“Okay, bye.”

I hung up the phone accordingly and dragged myself into a sitting position on the bed. So much for a decent night of uninterrupted sleep... then again, I would be able to sleep once I returned home, and it would most assuredly be even better than before, because I'd be that much more exhausted. Optimism can be a powerful tool if you know how to use it. Unfortunately, I usually sucked at it. Sleep seemed to be the only sense of logic that I had.
I dragged my feet down the stairs and went into the kitchen to fetch the files my mother had accidentally left behind this morning. They were exactly where my mother said, stacked neatly and unperturbed, and I laughed a little to myself because I could tell she had them prepared exactly the way she wanted, yet she forgot them.
The drive the hospital was a scary one. Being tired and dizzy is a terrible combination for driving in the dead of night, and both of my hands were attached to the wheel with a death grip the entire way there. The highway was empty, for the most part, which made it easier, and the streets were completely vacant once I exited and pulled into downtown. The hospital was the brightest building around, and the loudest, which made me more attentive and alert than I had been the entire drive there.

An ambulance's siren was wailing into the night sky, and paramedics were scrambling around the entrance to the hospital's Emergency Room door. It was clear that there had been a tremendous accident, because the man they brought out on the stretcher was unconscious, and bleeding from various blows to the head.
The hospital entrance, which was far from the Emergency Room, wasn't nearly as loud and exciting as it was outside. The woman at the front desk, Linda, was half asleep and the entrance lights were dimmed.
I crept up quietly, and slipped past her desk. Everyone who worked at the hospital knew that I was their boss's daughter, so it wasn't a problem.
As I searched the halls for the right wing, I eventually came across the B wing, which was live and vivacious. Nurses and doctors rushed past me, and there were people standing around the walls in their pajama's, clutching their own hands, or the hands of nearby family members and friends, looking anxious and worried. This is what the Emergency Room looked like in the middle of the night. It was sad, and the air possessed a heavy, cold tint. The lost lives of loved ones, and the anxious hope that their heart might find the strength to beat just one more time hung in a tight sense of tension around all of us. It was depressing, and I felt like I didn't belong, because I was neither attempting to save anyone, or waiting for the news that would decide the rest of my life.
Soon after reaching the 2nd long hall of the B wing I became nauseous, and I felt like puking. I had seen various cuts, wounds, and injuries within the first hall, and blood was far from slight within each room... whether it was on bandages or peoples clothes who had just been admitted, it was there. Eventually I just looked at my feet as I walked, unable to handle the sight of anymore injuries, and went to the main Emergency Room where my mom most likely was.
As I predicted, there she was, attending to a young man who was covered in his own blood, oozing from deep cuts and wounds along his head. He was unconscious, and it seemed as though he wouldn't make it.
At the sight I doubled over and gagged, the flesh of the man was revealed in several of the wounds that my mother had not yet mended and covered. I managed to pull myself together long enough to acknowledge my mother, show her the files, and set them aside. Accordingly I ran out of the emergency exit, despite all of the chaos outside, and stopped once I was a good 15 feet from the entrance.
I leaned against the brick wall of the hospital, and fell to a sitting position. I kept my eyes closed, and counted, trying to calm myself down. Blood and guts weren't my thing... unless it was my own, I guess. I could handle that, obviously, but others... I couldn't.
Eventually I caught my breath, and opened my eyes, and stood from my sitting position. Composed, and exhausted, I decided it was time to go home. As I grabbed my bag from the ground and began to search for my keys, I noticed something along the wall of the hospital...