Our Disappointed Hearts

I roamed the cold, drafty streets searching for my usual dealer. I had used my shitty cellphone to call him and tell him how much I had. Naturally, he said he'd haul his ass to where ever I wanted to meet to get that money. Drug dealers all have the same complex, selfish as all hell. They knew they could get whatever they wanted from a customer and took advantage of that.

I walked up to the corner we decided on. It was behind an old building that used to be a firehouse. No one ever went back there because it was supposed to be haunted but, I never saw any ghosts. I wasn't stupid when it came to drugs. I knew where to go.

"Aye, kid." he said in his thick, Brooklyn accent.

"Hey, Artie." I replied.

"So, I got the three dime bags and twenty seven Xanax you wanted. Thatta be forty five." he told me.

I got out the money from pocket of my baggy, camouflage pants and he got out the four bags. I handed him a fifty dollar bill and his eyes got wide.

"Keep the change." I slapped the money in his hands.

I walked away without words after putting the drugs in the front pocket of my big backpack.

On my way to the park I came across a crime scene. Curiosity getting the better of me, I walked over to one of the cops. I hadn't taken any of the drugs, so I wasn't worried much. I looked at the scene and the only thing I could see in the midst of cops and paramedics was blood and feet. The feet were bloody as well, if I may add. I went over to the cops to see what was going on.

"Sir, whats going on?" I asked politely.

"Kid, you gotta get out of here. This is a crime scene. Some nazi punk got smart with a black man and got his brains blown out." I froze.

"W-what?" I stuttered, "Did you by chance get his name?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah, his friend told me uh, scary looking dude, Jonny er uhm, something with 'onny' in it." he tried.

"S-sonny?" I knew it.

"Yeah! Thats it! Sonny! Hey, howdya know? You some sorta psychic?" he laughed.

"Sir, thats my brother. Oh my god, oh my god. He told me he was going out, I shouldn't of let him." I panicked.

Sure, I hated him but, that was my line of support. I'd be homeless without him. Okay, maybe I didn't hate him. I loved him, but only because he was blood. I was doomed at this point. At first, the officer doubted me but I was able to convince him by yelling and screaming enough.

"Calm down, miss. Would you like to ride to the hospital with him?" he tried calming me down.

"Oh, shit. Uhm, yeah." I tried not to freak out too much.

They wouldn't let me see the body, but the smell was enough to know it was bad. I was frantic but wouldn't let the paramedics see that. When we got to the hospital they rushed my brother to the ER and as much as I pleaded, I was to stay in the waiting room. I thought it was funny how they didn't once notice how cautious I was with my bag. They were more focused on my brother. I knew he was going to die as much as they told me they'd "try". I didn't cry and got over it after popping three Xanax in one of the hospital bathrooms.

I decided to go outside and have a cigarette. I ran out through the emergency exit and slumped against a wall. I sat there for a minute or two and just thought about what I was gonna do. I'd probably end up living with my uncle or being homeless. They both sounded like hell. I heard footsteps and didn't move. It wasn't all that light out but I didn't bother to look at the origin of the footsteps.

"Hey, what are you doing out here all by yourself? Its getting dark?" the light voice said.

"Fuck off. My brothers dying in there." I said as a warning, while lighting a cigarette.

I sucked in the vapors and inhaled them into my lungs. Before exhaling I felt someone next to me. I sighed out the smoke and heard a cough.

"If you don't like it, move." I inhaled and blew the smoke in the direction of the coughs.

"Listen, I understand you're going through shit but you don't have to be so rude." I knew it was a girl, judging by the attitude in the voice.

"Oh! Me-ow. Someone is feisty." I laughed.

"Ha-Ha." she laughed sarcastically.

"Sarcasm is a bad habit, y'know." I said like a smart-ass.

Just as I was about to inhale, she grabbed the cigarette out of my hand. I glared at her dead in the face. She was beautiful..for the first time in my life, I actually considered someone as beautiful. Her eyes shined from the dim lit wall lamp connected to the wall we were slumped against. They were blue with specks of green but unlike anything I'd ever seen. I stared at her perfect features for a second. She was pale, but that could have just been the poor lighting. Her lips were a very dark red, again, could have been the dim light. Her hair looked a light brown and it wasn't too short but it wasn't too long. I snapped out of the stupid trance I was in and got back to reality.

"Gimme that back or you'll be sorry." I seethed between my clenched teeth.

"No, I'm not going to watch someone slowly kill themselves and I can tell by your tone of voice that you're already under the influence of something." she stated.

"Wha-How did you know?" I uttered in disbelief.

"Its too calm, even for Gandhi. I'm guessing some sort of narcotic, misused stimulant." she assumed.

I hated her. She knew too much and I wanted to put my blade to her throat. I wouldn't kill an innocent person, annoying or not.

"Leave me alone." I groaned.

"You could be some sort of suicidal maniac, why should I?" she said smugly.

"Just stop being such a smart ass and go fuck yourself." I spat in her direction.

I ran away from her and decided since I didn't have anymore cigs, that I'd check on my brother. I slipped on my giant, movie star, black sunglasses just in case I looked high. I walked in and was immediately grabbed by a female doctor.

"Are you Sonny's sister?" she asked in a worried tone.

"Yeah, why?" I replied without looking at her, my head was looking at my old Converse.

"He, uhm, he didn't make it, sweetie. I'm so sorry." she said and it didn't phase me.

"Oh. I just wanna go home. Can you have an ambulance or something take me?" I asked with no emotion.

"I'll ask my daughter to give you a ride. I'm sure she won't mind." she said.

After she called someone on a nearby phone, I was in for more hell.

"I'd like you to meet my daughter, Vada." I looked to see the girl from the wall.

Fuck it.