Our Disappointed Hearts

The girl from the wall left abruptly, and I sat in the chilling winter cold, my hands folding about my arms like cloaks, and my body slumped in discontent. I wanted to help her, but that obviously wasn't going to happen... she was so stubborn, and rude, but I could see beneath her mask..

There was something more under the drugs, sarcasm, and sadistic attitude.. she was hiding from something. Perhaps someone she knew was in the hospital... the man on the stretcher? The woman on the bed, unconscious? Whatever it was, or whoever, she was hiding the pain, and covering it up...

I sat in discontent until my fingertips were white with numbness and my heart had wrenched itself thinking about the girl, and who she was. The white puff of mist coming from my mouth and diluting into the air reminded me that it was too cold to be outside, and my heavy eyelids indicated a hard, long drive home, fighting my worst enemy- sleep.

I stood without ease, my joints complaining with aches from sitting in such cold, and my newly exposed skin protesting. I quickly made my way back into the hospital thereafter, refusing to suffer from cold any longer, and was about to prepare to run back out to my car when my phone rang.
My mother. I answered accordingly.

“Vada,” she said with slight urgency “I need you to do something for me, come to my wing.”

I hung up after okay-ing her mandate and thawed my fingers in my pockets as I made my way back to her wing. The hallways were cold, and my arms gripped at one another, begging for warmth, but once I entered her room, everything seemed a bit warmer.. my cheeks turning red.

The girl from the wall was standing there, staggering above me a few inches in stature, but still a year or two younger. When she saw me her cover attitude automatically released itself once again, her arms crossing over her chest defensively, and her lips muttering something relentless. If it were not for her sunglasses, I probably would've seen some eye action as well.

My mother smiled when she saw me, satisfied with my timing, I suppose, and turned to the girl,

“I'd like you to meet my daughter, Vada.” she said in a polite tone. “Vada, this is Zepplin.”
she smiled at the girl nicely, but her eyes still evidently mourning a loss. “She would gladly take you home.”

Taken aback, my eyes widened.

“Wait, what? You want me to take her home?”
Zeppelin suddenly became much more defensive.
“I-I mean, yeah” I stuttered, correcting my obvious mistake “I'll do it. It's not a problem at all.”

My mother smiled and thanked me, and then turned back to Zepplin.
“Go with Vada, she'll get you home to rest, and tomorrow we'll get some nice people to your house to help you out..” she seemed upset, her brow furrowing, and her gaze becoming stern. “I'm so very sorry for your loss.”

Zepplin nodded, most likely out of politeness, and turned to face me.

She had nowhere to go, no ride, and a broken heart. Where else could she turn?

“No, I don't think I can accep-”

“-No, no no no no” my mother cut in “I wont let you refuse, you asked for a ride, now you've got one.”

Zepplin scowled, but nodded, accepting defeat, and I smiled.

I led her through the cold air and to my car. She walked behind me briskly and silently. Her clothes draped over her light figure like old skin, ragged and rough. I hadn't seen her face yet, not really. It was too dark, and the sunglasses she had on in the hospital covered her face almost completely. But her skin was milky and pale...and gorgeous.

I cleared my mind of the thought abruptly as I got in and started the car while putting on my seat-belt. I was about to start driving when I noticed she had not done the same, and probably wasn't going to..

“Uhm..” I cleared my throat, I didn't know what to say... “Can you put on your seat belt please?”

She was being especially quiet. I suppose she didn't want to insult me anymore, or didn't have the energy to.. I didn't ask, but I was almost certain that the man on the stretcher was a loved one... maybe her brother.

She looked at me in what I imagine would be disbelief, but the glasses covered almost all emotions, but she consented a moment later with a grunt and did so.

Satisfied, I pulled out of the lot and began the drive to a place I've never been.

–

Sirens filled the streets, two police cars pulled in front of the house I was to drop Zepplin off at, and two other cars parked along the street-line. There were several uniformed men coming in and out of the house, and when they saw me approaching Zepplin groaned and dropped down in her seat a little
“Fuck. Guess the park bench is home tonight.”
Disdain was evident in her tone, along with hopelessness, and I knew I had to do something. I couldn't leave her here like this. They probably wouldn't even let her in the house, and it was too cold to be outside all night...much less sleep on a park bench.

“Wait here a second.” I said as I got out of the car, knowing not to leave this up to her. “I'll be right back.”

I approached the closest officer politely, taking in the scene as I did so. The house was run down, and obviously abused by the looks of it. Some of the policemen were taking out weapons, guns, knives, swastika's imprinted on them vigorously. To my horror, it seemed like they all had been used..

“Excuse me, sir.”
the man turned around, slightly alarmed.
“Can you please tell me what's going on here?”

“An investigation, ma'am. You shouldn't be on the premises, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Bu-”
“-we've found reason to believe that the man who lived here was dangerous. This is a crime scene, you have to leave.”

He dismissed me with a nod and gestured to my car, and I knew I wouldn't get another word in.

I got back into the car and Zepplin was muttering indistinguishable profanities in anger.

“I'm going to find somewhere for you to stay...” I whispered, and pulled out my phone as her hands ran through her long hair, probably in frustration.

I called my mother, and stepped out of the car so Zepplin wouldn't hear.

It rang three times before my mother picked up, exasperated and tired.

“Mom, we have a problem...”

–

After speaking with my mother, I got back into the car without a word and started pulling out of the driveway.

Zepplin had taken off her glasses and had her face in her hands.

“Fuck, just drop me off at the park.” she said between her fingers “I didn't mean to turn you into a damn taxi.”

“No. I'm not taking you to the park.” I said in return. “I talked to my mom, and you're going to have a warm place to sleep tonight.”

She looked up from her hands with a suspicious, and cynical look.
“You're not dumping me off at some home or something, are you?”

“Nope. No home, you're old enough to manage to get out of that one, anyways.”

Still glaring, she sat up and began putting her things together.

“I'm taking you home with me.” I interjected, knowing she was planning on jumping out the first chance she got. “Everything's fine. It's just for tonight, if you'd like...or until you find a place.”

She stopped moving and sat back in her seat.

“I can't.” she said, simply and sharply. “I wont do it.”

Stubborn as she was, she was humble as well.

She began gathering her things again, so I stopped the car.

“Look,” I said haughtily as she opened the car door “You can get out if you want, but meanwhile, I'm offering you a warm bed and food.” I looked her up and down, waiting for her reaction “it's cold as hell outside, you have one jacket from what I can tell, you have drugs somewhere, and you probably don't have much money on you. Or at all, for that matter. Sleep on a park bench and freeze your ass off all night and go hungry, or come and stay with me for awhile. It's up to you.”

I wasn't sure if I had been convincing enough or not, but she seemed torn with indecision. She still hadn't stepped out of the car, but her hands clutched her bag protectively, and she remained sitting there with the door open.

I waited in silence, and watched her. She was beautiful, indeed. Her face was still shadowed in darkness, but I could see well enough to understand that she was breathtakingly gorgeous..

“Come on” I said more softly than before “I don't want you to be alone on a park bench all night...”

She sighed and shut the car door.
“Fine, whatever. It's only for tonight though. Tomorrow I'm gone.”

I smiled in satisfaction, thanking her only with a gracious look. She would be warm tonight, which was a comforting thought, and tomorrow I could try to convince her to stay long enough to find a good, safe place to stay. It was a stretch, but it was worth a shot anyways.

I continued to smile to myself, and drove in silence.
There was just something about her...