Disasterpiece

I watched the headlights of Corey’s car disappear into the dying night, turning around I made my way inside and straight to my room. Flinging myself on the bed I realised that I still had the red towel around my arms, cursing I threw it onto the ground and rolled over into a ball. The weight began to press down; suffocating me like a cord was wrapped around my neck. Joey had seemed really upset about something, but what? Was it my presence that had managed to slither its bad karma into the atmosphere? If it was and this was just the beginning, then what else could it possibly screw up? Would it work its way into their album perhaps? Their friendships even?

I turned my head and screamed into my pillow, curling my fingers into my hair I pulled at the roots in frustration. I was completely lost, at a crossroad with no signs where every direction looked the same. This was different to my usual predicament though, usually I had a decision between two very dim choices, but now I was choosing between a family I had been forced to give up years ago and life direction I had dug for myself with the remaining scraps of my future.

I knew I wanted to keep Corey, I wanted him in my life so bad it hurt, there was a bond between us that only came with what we grew up through together.

But I also knew that my presence in his life might start to hurt him and the people around him, I had a way of affecting people like that and while most of it came back onto me, the bad luck always seeped into those around me.

And what about my grave? The grave I don’t own anymore, the grave that once kept me breathing. Even if I decided to stick with Corey there would always be a fear, a black cloud over my head; the imposing threat that everything was about to blow up in my face and I would be left with nothing again.

I wish I had a magic eraser, I would erase that jackass from my life and then none of this would’ve happened. I had never wished for anyone to die more than him, no matter how ‘in love’ I had thought I was once upon a time.

My stomach suddenly squirmed as if in reminder, I frowned and remembered the strange feeling I got around Joey.

Joey.

What was up with that guy? There was definitely something I was missing there, and I had a feeling there was more than one thing.

I screamed into my pillow again.

Tuesday nights were always slow at the bar, people weren’t relaxing from the week or recovering from Mondayitis, it was mostly just the regulars and travellers passing through looking for a decent meal. Uncle Frank usually took the day off and left me in charge, which I had no problem with; a little extra cash here and there wasn’t bad news to me – it also meant I had control over the music. I decided that Slipknot may be a bit too outlandish for the customers, so after another trip to the CD store I now had another of Corey’s bands to add to the collection.

“Stone Sour, nice,” came a voice, I looked up from cleaning the rims of the mixer bottles and saw Josie leaning over the bar with a smile on her face. Chucking the cloth into the sink I stood up and made my way over to her with a raised eyebrow.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked suspiciously, Josie bit her lip deviously and shrugged.

“Not if I’m sick I shouldn’t,” she replied, I snorted and gave her a once over.

“You look pretty spritely to me,” I said with a grin.

“No really, I have a cough that would affect my ability to talk on a phone,” she said sarcastically, adding a fake hacking cough to the end for affect. Josie worked as a 911 call operator a few streets down from the bar; we were pretty lucky with our jobs in that our hours were almost identical, give or take a late out or two.

“Ok well since you are so close to death shouldn’t you be at home or something?” I asked lightly as I pulled a vodka bottle and lemon juice from the shelf and poured out a midi, it was Josie’s favourite drink.

“Oh I worked out that I have a few extra hours before I die so I should live them up,” she answered as she caught the glass I slid across the bar. I watched suspiciously as she sculled the drink and slammed the glass down with a loud exhalation of breath.

“How exactly are you planning to live up the last hours of your life?” I asked wearily, Josie usually had some interesting ideas when she was bored and looking for entertainment, but what you could possible do on a Tuesday night I had no idea. Josie smiled at me innocently and pouted. “What…?” I asked guardedly.

“I have dinner plans,” she said slowly, I blinked in confusion – that didn’t sound too controversial.

“With Daniel?” I asked casually as I put the vodka bottle back into its rightful place.

“No actually…” she started; “But it’s not like that it’s more microwave macaroni cheese and some bad movies,” she added quickly when I turned around and gave her a horrified look.

“Who with?!” I exclaimed; I knew it wasn’t a girl that she was hanging out with as Josie didn’t usually get along too well with the female gender, I was her only girl friend – a fact that she was very proud of for some reason. Josie coughed uneasily and scratched the top of her head, a nervous trait she had kept since kindergarten.

“You remember Sid…?” she said, knowing obviously that I did remember who Sid was.

“Are you sure its wise to do this given that you are with Daniel…and I didn’t realise you two talked much after the party?” I responded wearily, so maybe this was one of her hair-brain schemes. I knew Daniel wasn’t one of those overprotective types, but even he would offer a raised eyebrow to this plan.

“It’s not like that, we just get along well and we swapped numbers yesterday once we both managed to get up,” she explained, almost pleadingly. I threw my arms in the air and shrugged.

“It’s your life dude, just remember who you have a commitment with,” I told her, she grinned and leant over the bar to punch me in the arm.

“You’re a spectacular friend,” she said with a laugh. “Anyways I’m off, just thought I would drop in and say hi and what not,” she added.

“Yeah alright then, have fun and seriously don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I warned. Josie snorted before she waved and made her way out of the bar. I sighed to myself and shook my head, one day she’s going to dig herself a hole so deep she won’t be able to crawl out of it.