Disasterpiece

It was getting on to two in the morning when I asked Uncle Frank if I could take a break, he got agitated that I hadn’t taken one sooner and told me to take double time – that suited me fine as I had some catching up to do. Grabbing a lemon soda, I walked around the bar and through the now sparse crowd towards the booth in the corner where a familiar face waited expectantly.

“Jesus I thought I was going to have to sit here til dawn,” Corey whined when I sat across from him, the leather of the seat making a funny noise when I slid down.

“Don’t be melodramatic…I would’ve kicked you’re sorry arse out of here before then,” I joked; Corey smiled and toasted his glass in the air before taking a swig. “So your friends gone home then?” I asked as I took a drink too.

“Yeah, I mean you’re help at weird hours when you’re on tour so sleeping normally is a rare treasured thing,” he replied with a grin.

“Oh, what are you touring for?” I asked. Corey chocked midway through his drink and coughed a few times, raising his eyebrow at me. “What?!” I asked, offended by his reaction to my question.

“You’re not fucking joking are you?” he asked, astounded evidently by my ignorance. I just gave him a look that told him all he needed to know. He shook his head and put his glass down. “You use to be up with all the bands,” he pointed out.

“Yeah well…” I stopped, the back of my throat tingling at the thought of Mr Squiggle and that time of my life, stupid controlling prick. “So you’re in a band then?” I changed the topic quickly. Corey nodded and grinned.

“Won a fucking Grammy and everything,” he said, my mouth fell open and I leaned over the table to push on his shoulder.

“Wow, the little boy from Iowa all grown up and winning freaking Grammy’s,” I mused in disbelief, I guess I was the only one who hadn’t changed all these years.

“Hey you’re in no position to be saying who’s little,” Corey laughed, raising his eyebrow he leant over and patted my head. I scowled and brushed his hand away; he grinned cheekily and picked up his beer again. We sat in silence for a while, it wasn’t exactly awkward but I don’t think either of us knew exactly where to start, I mean the last time we had talked hadn’t made a fond memory. I guess on top of that there was a wave of guilt emulating around us, so many years had passed without any kind of contact.

Corey put his beer down again and sighed, leaning heavily against the table he leant forward on his elbows and stared straight at me. I looked back at him, straight into those familiar blue eyes, but something had changed in them, they weren’t as care free as I remember them, they weren’t the same eyes that left all those years ago to travel the country. There was pain behind them, like an inner battle was raging inside his head, and even when he wasn’t aware of it, it was still going.

“I tried to find you a few years ago you know, I went to your place,” he said, almost thoughtfully. My insides began to twist and knot painfully, I looked away from him and out the window onto the dark street; everything began to feel numb. How was I going to tell him what had happened? It would involve an apology I had never countered on ever having to make, it would involve the story I had no intention of recalling. Corey reached over the table and took my hands in his, like he use to do when we were younger; when we use to sit in my bedroom looking out onto the cemetery.

I looked down at his hands, then back up at him, he was waiting and I knew this was one of the only occasions he was willing to be patient. I closed my eyes briefly, memories hit me like tidal waves against concrete; I needed to fall back from them but they just kept coming, smacking me in the face.

It started with a twelve year old girl with long brown hair parted straight down the middle, standing next to her father outside a yellow house next to a cemetery. The girl’s lip was upturned, a sign of detest. Her father was smiling happily up at the house where a women and her son stood. The women had a rugged but beautiful look about her; her son had short, messy blond hair, he was evidently older than the girl and he mimicked the same look that was fastened to the girl’s face. The girl’s fathers turned to his daughter and bent down to her level, she looked at him through the corner of her eye; her arms remained folded.

“Vixen honey please be nice I want you to meet my girlfriend and her son, they might very well be your family one day,” he pleaded with his daughter. The girl snarled under her breath but made no more indication that she had heard him or accepted what he had said. The man sighed and stood up straight, walking up to the house he left the girl alone on the front lawn to come inside in her own time. When he reached the balcony, he took the women’s hand and together they went inside the house, leaving the two children to glare at each other.

The boy scrunched his nose and tilted his head slightly. “I’m older than you,” he said. The girl unfolded her arms and looked at the boy carefully.

“Yes,” she replied slowly after a moment. The boy’s face went blank, and then he shrugged carelessly.

“Ok,” he said, then turned around and walked into the house.

The scene changed, the girl was now slightly older and her hair cut in a short choppy bob and her eyes lined with thick black eyeliner. She stood in a doorway watching her father and her Uncle struggle with her furniture, trying to turn her bed on the right angle to get it into her new bedroom. Both the men were panting loudly, and sweat ran down from their foreheads, staining their shirts. The girl pursed her lips and turned away from them; she walked down a narrow hallway and came to stop in front of a door adorned with band posters. She pushed open the door without knocking and ambled into the room.

Inside her now step-brother was lying across his bed with headphones on, scribbling messily on a scrap of paper. The girl closed the door and made her way over the bed, falling heavily down by the boy’s writing hands. The boy finished scribbling something before pushing himself up and taking off his headphones, he raised his eyebrow at the girl in question.

“Yes munchkin?” he asked teasingly. The girl poked her tongue out and grabbed the scrap of paper the boy had been writing on, he yelled in protest as she jumped from the bed and began to read over the incoherent scrawl. As she read the boy tried to grab the paper from her hands, they moved around the room randomly, all the while the boy’s hand snapping only thin air. When the girl finished reading she stopped and handed the paper to the boy who scowled and snatched it off her.

“If having a sister is going to be this annoying…” he grumbled to himself. The girl laughed and shrugged; falling back on the boy’s bed she stared up at the ceiling and smiled.

“Those lyrics were really good Corey, you should make a band or something,” she said honestly. The boy scoffed and shoved the scrap of paper into his top draw.

“Just don’t go through my shit,” he told her.

The memory faded into a new one, there was a large group of teenagers walking through a park together, laughing and making loud jokes. The sun was beginning to set in the horizon, but it seemed like the day had only just began for this bunch. The girl and her step-brother were both apart of this gang, both at least a year older again. The boy’s hair had grown out and sat almost dreadlock-like around his shoulders, the girl’s hair was about the same length, only now it was black with thick chunks of blue and purple.

The group came to a stop at the play gym, everyone spread out to claim their favourite piece of equipment. The girl and her step-brother headed over to the slide with a couple of other people, they all sat huddled around the bottom; grin’s spread wide across their faces.

“Hey Paul roll us a jay will you,” the girl said to a largest guy in the group. The guy rolled his eyes but proceeded to pull a plastic bag from his pocket and some paper. They sat around quietly for a while watching Paul roll a jay for everyone in the group, but before any of them were lit they were interrupted by a newcomer.

“Hey guys we got a camera, anyone up for a group photo?” a guy with a black crew cut asked. The group looked at each other and shrugged, getting up they followed the guy to the rest of their larger group. A girl with thick red hair stood at the forefront with a camera held eagerly in he hands, she yelled at everyone to huddle together. The girl went to stand by her step-brother and her best friend when someone wrapped their arm around hers. Turning to the side she saw the guy with the crew cut grinning innocently at her, he began to pull her to the other side of the group. The girl glanced at him then back at her step-brother and best friend who were frowning in their direction.

The step-brother’s frown remained the same, but the background changed around him. He was sitting on a window seat opposite the girl, she was looking out the window watching a large willow tree blow in the breeze, unaware that she was been stared at intently. They sat like this for a few more minutes before the boy reached over and took the girl’s hands in his own. The girl jumped a little and turned away from the window, looking at the boy she cocked her head in question.

“I don’t want to say this,” he said quietly, a sadness washing over his face.

“Then don’t,” she whispered back, but she knew she would hear what was on his mind anyway. The boy swallowed and narrowed his eyes, the house was eerily silent around them and the only light in the room came from an outside street lamp. He tightened his grip on the girl’s hand and moved closer so that their crossed legs were touching each other.

“It’s not the time…” he said out loud as though in thought and begging for her permission to keep going.

“I know,” she replied, her chest beginning to feel heavy.

“It’s just, with all of this divorce shit happening; I’m still going to be your brother or at least your friend right? And as a brother and a friend I have to tell you that he’s not right for you, he’s going to ruin you,” the boy said quickly, like he had been saving up those very words for months, like they had been building up inside him until he could no longer contain them. The girl bit her lip and looked back out the window at the willow tree; it was so beautiful the way it never changed through the seasons, the way it moved silently.

“I know he is, but I love him,” she said into the glass, her breath fogging up the window for a moment. The boy clenched his jaw and let go of the girl’s hand, pushing himself back so that their legs no longer touched he folded his arms and hit the back of his head a few times against the window pane.

And this was it, this is what all the memories had been winding up too, the big finale – the wham, bam, thank you ma’am; the reason why an apology was in order.

The boy and the girl were significantly older now, the girl’s hair was long and black, the boy’s hair was just long and tangled. The girl stood on a front porch, her arms hung limply by her side, behind her the guy who still had a crew cut wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder he watched the boy standing before them with a rucksack darkly. The boy stared up at them, a look of distain flawed his features; he tightened his grip on his shoulder strap.

“I told you he was going to ruin you,” the boy hissed through his teeth. The girl’s face fell sadly, she made a movement as if to walk towards the boy, but the arms around her waist tightened and pulled her back. The boy saw the movement and snarled angrily, he wanted nothing more than to rip the guy’s throat out.

“Why don’t you just leave already, she told you that she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore,” the guy said menacingly. The boy looked straight into the eyes of his sister and searched for some kind of resolve, but there was nothing there.

“Fine, I love you VJ and one day this fucker is going to fuck you over and I can’t say that I’m going to be there when he does,” the boy said. Then he turned abruptly, adjusted his strap once more, and began to stalk down the pathway. The girl began to shake; tears welled up in her eyes.

“Corey wait!” she yelled after her brothers retreating back. The boy stopped but did not turn around, the girl forced her way out of her boyfriends grip and ran down the path. When she reached her brother she wrapped her arms as tightly as she could around him, he sighed and wrapped his arms around her too. “Where are you going?” she whispered into his shirt.

“Everywhere, anywhere…just going to travel around,” the boy whispered back into her honey scented hair. The girl nodded and sniffed, pulling back form the hug she ran her finger down the boys cheek with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want this to be goodbye,” she choked. The boy pushed her finger away from his face and shook his head; “but he does,” he whispered. Kissing her on the cheek briskly, the boy turned and continued down the path, this time the girl didn’t call after him.

I bit my lip as a tear trailed down my cheek, Corey frowned and unclasped one of his hands from mine so he could wipe it away. I leant into his touch, my eyes fluttering closed for a second before I opened them and took a deep breath.

“He fucked me over, like you said,” I sighed sadly.