This, Is Getting Over You

Chapter 10: Moonlight Nights

“Are we there yet?” Vinnie whined, throwing another peanut across the bus from his position on one of the couches and watching it collide with my head.

“Shut up.” Josh mumbled over his silver laptop from his place next to me on the bus table. His emerald eyes focused on the blue glow radiating from the screen, after Vinnie asked the same question for the 50th time in five minutes.

“But I’m bored…” The bleach blonde moaned, throwing another peanut, this time in John’s direction who had spent the past hour tuning and fiddling with his brother’s guitar. He’d insited he wanted to learn guitar as well as play drums.

“Oi! You fuckhead.” John spat, returning his attention back to the guitar.

“Whaddid I do?” Vinne asked innocently, pulling his face into an angelic, saint-like posture.

“You threw a peanut at me.” John whined, placing the guitar next to him on the couch he was sitting on.

“Did not.” Vinnie said sarcastically, stirring the pot. Looking for trouble. I couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape my chest. Laughter..something I hadn’t done in a while. I glanced over at Josh to see if he was laughing at the other two’s childish argument, but his eyes remained fixed to the screen.

A sudden girlish squeel filled the bus, making me jump and look at the direction of the other two, where John was now ontop of Vinne, punching him in the arm. I smiled to myself, it reminded me of the good old times. Back home, no troubles in the world, just laughter. I was so greatful that they had decided to put the incident of the previous day behind them as Emma had us locked up in the bus for the past 7 hours on the way to our newest venue. 7 hours of isolation with three smelly men and one fucked up chick tended to cause people to go a little crazy.

“Oww…get off me John.” Vinnie whined through muffled laughter as John repeatedly punched him in a playful manner. This scene, it was so…perfect.

I glanced over to Josh and shuffled my body closer so I could see what he was doing.

“Whatcha looking at?” I asked curiously, placing my head on his shoulder as he didn’t dare look away from the screen.

“This..” He mumbled, sounding slightly annoyed. The image which displayed itself on the screen made me eyes grow with shock. Displayed on the screen were pictures of us, Hella with comments from other people…fans. We, Hella, had fans.

“What the fuck?” I asked, he turned to look me in the eye with the same surprised look.

“Well...as it turned out, your tantrum sparked media interest. Which apparently worked like some kind of domino effect,” A happy smile drew it’s way along his face, I was glad to see he wasn’t to upset about the newspaper article which Emma hadn’t hesitated to show both Hella and My Chem before we set of. Yelling at Gerard and I for being so ‘foolish’ as her words went exactly. Telling us that the last thing we needed was this, although she, still was under the belief we hated each other.

“Now that you and Gerard have this thing-“ The giggling from across the bus quickly cut off as Josh’s words gained the complete attention from Vinnie and John.

“There is nothing going on between us. We just got into another argument.” I huffed quickly, not wanting them to suspect anything and sat in the quiet as the my three best friends, my only family all examined me with curious eyes.

“Josh. You have to stop looking at this stuff,” I finally spoke, reaching out and lowering the laptop’s screen down so he couldn’t see anymore of it. “Rumors, Negative Comments. We don’t need to know that shit. They are all lies and speculations. We just need to be ourselves.”

“You’re right..” Josh mumbled, I had managed to pull the wool over his eyes, for now. If he had of suspected there was something going on between Gerard and I, he’d press the matter until I felt so bad about it, I’d never want to speak to any member of My Chem again. Josh was good like that.

The bus started to slow and eventually pulled into a graceful stop. I snatched Josh’s wrist and glanced at the time 1pm.

“We’re here!” Vinnie yelled happily, jumping off the couch and running towards the bus door, desperately wanting to escape the solitary confinements of the bus.

“About time.” Josh mumled, following Vinnie over to the bus door as it began to open and Emma charged inside.

My heart sunk into my chest as she stormed onto towards where Josh and I sat at the table and dropped a pile of papers. Stress was radiating off of her as she sat across from Josh and folded her arms.

“What?” I spat, slightly annoyed by the glare she was giving me.

“You’re going to be the death of me Del.” She managed to pull a smile and laugh sarcastically. It was the first time I’d seen her do that since the day we’d arrived.

“What do you mean?”

“The media is outside, asking questions. About you. About Hella, the Australian band and their front woman who has already made it into the papers.” She said sarcastically.

I moaned angrily and leaned back against the chair, banging my head softly on the wall behind me. Why did she constantly have to bring the bad points up. I knew she was stressed, and the added media attention now wasn’t going to be good. No wonder Gerard was so stressed this morning. The reality of the sitiuation I found myself in finally rang clearly inside my tired mind, but I couldn’t help but want him.

“So. You guys have a schedule this afternoon,” Emma began to thum through the papers infront of her and scanning them individually, gliding her index finger along the white surface as she looked for something. “Right. You perform at 3pm, then My Chem will be playing after you. At 4:15, you are to meet back here at the bus as Fuse has requested an inter-“

“Fuse!?” John, Vinnie and Josh chimed in, cutting the American accent off and drowning it with their own Australian ones, as if they’d never heard of the American channel before. Emma glared at them with a ‘yes, now can I continue what I was saying’ look, making them quickly shut up, excited smiles across their face.

“Anyway. Fuse interview at 4:15pm. Got it?” She drilled each of us with her brown eyes. “Then,” She turned her attention back to the white paper in her hands. ”You are required to do a ‘meet and greet’ for fans between 4:30 and 5:30pm,” Excited giggles broke out between the group. We hadn’t done on of those yet. “And finally, at 5:30, you are required to meet me for one last interview with a local radio station.” She placed the schedule down infront of us and stood up, heading towards the bus door.

“Got it?” We all nodded excitedly as she walked out of the bus.

“This is fucking fantastic!” John screamed, running over to the schedule and battling between with his twin brother for the rights of ‘Who would get to read it first.”

A warm feeling rushed through my veins then, one I hadn’t expirenced for a long time. I was excited and happy about the day ahead of me. Yeah, the day had gotten off to a bad start, but now it was exciting…although that familiar face of the hazel eyed rockstar with the long black hair still refused to budge from my mind just as the events from the previous day began to replay themselves in my mind, like a movie.

“Right! Let’s get ready.” Josh’s voice snapped me out of the trance I’d fallen into and jumped up.

“I bags first shower.” I suddenly yelled and pounced from the table, running towards the door and almost knocking Vinnie to the floor. Dead silence followed, no objections or anything. Odd…they always fight back. I turned around and examined each of their faces of pure shock. Why were they surprised? We always fought over the bathroom…well, use to anyway.

I shrugged it off and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

“Del’s back…” I heard Josh’s voice float through the thin bathroom door as I unbuckled my jeans and began to remove them. Damn right I’m back, And this show is going to be a hit.

Returning from the bathroom twenty minutes later I was greeted by a scene that was all to familiar at the start of the tour, before I’d proved to everyone how fucked up I could be.

All of My Chem, were sitting around the bus, and there I was, wrapped in a towel.

“Fuck…” I mumbled, as the bus broke out in mocking laughter. I glanced at Gerard, his cheeks were slightly pink as he tried to avoid looking at me. My heart sunk in my chest. What did I do wrong?
Running towards my suitcase, I grabbed it and nervously dragged it back into the bathroom with me. My heart was racing. Couldn’t he even look at me now, despite the fact that I had been set up to walk out in a towel. A plan most likely devised by Frank and Vinnie.

“Fucking pervets..” I angrily muttered to myself, grabbing my dirty black skinny legs from the bottom of my suitcase and pulling them on. God I loved those pants, even if they smelt like a combination of stale cigarettes and man sweat, obviously obtained by having to live with three of them.

I finished dressing, pairing the jeans with an old band tee, and fixed my make up as the voice of both bands chattered outside the bathroom door. If I went out, they’d laugh at me, and Gerard would only avoid me…most likely anyway. Remember Del, you two hate each other. I couldn’t help but want him more, his tingling touch against my skin and his chemical kisses. God. It could drive anyone insane by the thought.

Distracting myself from his thoughts, I took the time to use John’s straightening iron to tame my black locks, make myself look like a rockstar. When there was a knock at the door.

“Del, we need to get ready.” Vinnie’s whining voice flooded into the empty confinement of the bathroom, slightly muffled from the door being in the way.

“Have they gone?”

“Yes…” He tried not to laugh. I stormed towards the door and opened it wide enough to stick my head through. The bus was empty, except for the two ugly twins playing snap on the table with a pack of playing cards. Vinnie stormed past me and suddenly I found myself being pushed out of the bathroom and the door being slammed behind me.

- - - -

“Please welcome, Hella!” The short man on the stage screamed to the fans and cheering began, it was the loudest I’d heard all tour. Adrenline began to pump itself through my system. I was nervous. I glanced to look at Josh, he looked every bit the rockstar with his guitar slung lazily over his shoulders in a pair of tight jeans, casual shirt and messy hair. The girls would scream for him. Fuck, if I was a fan I’d scream for him.

“Let’s go!” He chanted happily, leading the rest of us onto the stage as the crowd continued to cheer. I walked nervously into the middle of the stage, the crowd was the biggest we’d had on the Warped tour which triggered a voice to nag in the back of my mind. What if they hate you for being so fucked up?

I closed my eyes and listened to the cheering as Josh opened up our show with the steady riff of one of our favourite songs we’d written, and pushed the thought away as the ‘on stage’ Del began to flare up inisde my body as the lyrics to Creep rolled from my mouth.

“You cant handle me!" The lyrics flooded my system as rockstar Del took over and the crowd roared. "and all I can do, is smile at you," My feet took control as I moved gracefully around the stage and a group of screaming girls caught my eye as they were reaching out over the railings with their hands in reaching out to me.

They were cheering, for me, for us, for Hella.

"Tell me now, tell me now!" I sang into the mic as the unfamiliar sounds of voices began to sing the words. My heart beated excitedly. They were singing to one of my songs, one we had written. It was ours. And they were singing along with me. I suddenly felt untouchable from the overwhelming vibe the crowd was giving and around me, my friends, my brothers, could sense the vibe and got into the music and the rest of the song spilled from my lips and their fingertips.

"Tell me now, tell me now,” I screamed the last line into the mic as the song drew to a close and held the mic out to the crowd, testing them to see if they knew the final lyric.

That I'm no scared at all!" They chanted back at me, filling me with excitement and power. I was a god.

“G’day!” I felt it was time I introduced ourself, and the crowd responded with screams. “We are Hella!” I told them, and the screaming seemed to grow louder. I ran to the edge of the stage and examined the audience. “Are you fucking happy to see us!?” I asked them, questioning them. They roared.

“Well, we’re fucking happy to be here….” I breathed. “I said! Are you fucking happy to see us? Let me hear you scream.” I forcefully held the mic out to the crowd once more as they roared with excitement, filling my body like a drug as the next song started up.

We left the stage to with the crowd chanting Hella. Us, they were chanting for us. All my dreams had come true. I was hear, in the USA, playing Warped Tour with my best friends. Why was I so confused over one man just a day ago when I had this life? I was ontop of the fucking world.

“Great job Del!” John came up behind me and wrapped a pair of sweaty arms around me.

“Eww. Get off me. You smell.” I laughed and pushed him away. ”What’s the time?”

“Four. We gotta head to the bus to meet Emma for that interview.” Josh piped up, wiping beads of sweat from his brow as his chest breathed heavily.

“You go ahead.” I told them, wanting to take the last few moments I had to bask in the glory and happiness I was feeling. They nodded and began walking away.
I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the sky. I was on top of the world, no one, no man, could ever bring me down.

Tucking my hands inside the tight pockets of my jeans I walked in the direction towards the bus. Dawdling as I replayed the concert in my mind, lingering on the excitement it left me feeling, and taking the time to fully take in my surrondings when a strong hand lashed out, gripping my wrists and pulling me behind a random bus.

I went into panic mode, trying to scream as another hand wrapped itself over my mouth and my body was turned around to face those heartbreaking hazel eyes.

“Gerard…” I mumbled through his hand as he finally removed it. He didn’t reply, just gave a cheeky smile and looked around.

“What are you doi-“

“Sshh.” He whispered. “No one can see us.” What the hell was he on about?

His over powering lips collided with mine as he back me into the cold metal wall of some bus, before I could say another word. I got what he was on about, as he gave me another dose of my favourite drug.

“You..were..fantastic.” He mumbled against my lips, not wanting to break the kiss as his hands roamed up my neck and through my hair. I was already on top of the world, this was heaven.

“Ger-“ His touch was novacaine, I knew this was wrong. What if we got caught, we couldn’t get caught. It just added to the excitement as I lost myself in his aggressive kissing, as his soft lips caressed my own, fillng me with his poision. We were opposites. Totally wrong for each other, but with a chemical reaction that drew us together. Just like magnets.

“DEL!” An angry voice reached my ears, bringing me back to the reality I was in and we quickly pushed away from each other at the sound of Emma’s voice.

“Whats the time?” I asked Gerard nervously trying to fix my hair and straighten my shirt as I could hear Emma’s voice shout my name again from somewhere on the otherside of the bus.

“4:10.”

“Fuck..” I muttered and quickly walked out from behind the bus to greet an angry Emma, and leaving my novacaine behind.

“Where the fuck have you been!?” She stormed over to me and grabbed me harshly around the wrist and lead me away.

“I needed a smoke.”

“Looks more like you fell into a bush.” She glanced angrily back at me examining my hair. “You have an interverview.”

“Oh shit..” I’d got completely lost in the small secretative moment I’d spent with him that I’d completely forgotten about the interview.

My mind was stuck on him.

I didn't know where I was going. Just following Emma as we then met with the rest of Hella; my mind was in another world. I guess I’ll just kept my eyes stuck on Joshs' shoes and made sure I did exactly what he did.

How could he be so fucking hypnotizing? Why does he have to swoon me in like that?

"Watch out!" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Josh; who was looking at me, after I had bumped into him.

"Oh, sorry."

We were standing in a secluded outside area, surrounded by rushing people. There was all these camera's and special light catching things.

"They're here!" A man said, he was wearing a pitch black shirt that said: FUSE. "Hey, ah... You guys can go and sit on the chairs provided for you, just over there," he directed us. I began to walk as the other guys did, but Emma had stopped me and pulled me aside.

"Del, this is your first American interview. And, it will be a tough on to handle if they ask you about Gerard," the serious tone in her stressed out voice made her seem human.

"What do I say if they ask me?" she weakly smiled and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Answer," I looked at her. I think she was telling me to tell the truth, but what she knows isn't the truth. With that, she had left knowing that she would return later to direct us with the other things we had to do. Why am I really nervous about it, now?

I looked over and saw Josh waving at me; telling me to hurry the fuck up and get over there.
I jogged through the rushing FUSE crew and took my seat.

"Wow, this is really weird," John said, looking in awe at the set.

"I know ey? This isn't like any other interview we've had," I stated.

"Pft, Aussie interviews are gay. All they ask is about shit," Vinnie joined in, making me chuckle.

"I'm nervous, are you guys nervous? 'Cause I am... I'm really nervous," I quickly added in. They all looked at me.

"Don't worry, Del. You'll be fine... If they ask you anything bad, just be like 'fuck you bitch' and then run away," John told me. I nervously laughed and looked over to the big pine trees that were behind this fence.

"Okay guys, we begin in two minutes," we all looked over and saw a guy taking a seat next to a camera. "I'm obviously the interviewer, I'm Steve... I'm not sure who is who, so introduce yourselves," his jet black hair, perfect skin and straight teeth made him seem nice, but he sounded like a tool.

"I'm Josh, that's Vinnie, John over there and this is Del."

"Who does what in the band? Besides Del, I know you're the singer," and I know I want to punch your face in, I found my self wanting to say.

"Ah... I play drums," John said, slowly, as he looked over to me; probably thinking the same thing.

"Bass."

"Guitar."

"Okay, thanks. I'll be asking some questions, just try and answer as truthfully as possible, fans like it," Okay, he is a tool.

"Okay people! Shut the hell up! We are recording in five, four, three, two, action!" My head was swelling, I grew more and more nervous.

"So how is Warped tour treating you guys? Liking America?" It was weird how he started off like that, I guessed he was going to be doing voice overs after he asked questions. I looked at 'Steve' and wondered why his whole personality changed when the camera's were rolling.

"Good," Josh said, looking at me with a smile, trying to hide his laugh.

"Greaaaat!" John added.

"Pretty hip," Vinnie chimed in.

"Okay, I guess you guys want me to elaborate," I softly laughed as I looked at them, they were laughing themselves. "Um, so far Warped tour has been treating us well... It took us a while to get used to the crowds here because, the crowd's and the venue's back home are much smaller, we kinda just walk in and know everyone and are friends with most of them, but here it's just mind blowing. The crowd is the biggest we've played in front of, and it's just so overwhelming to know that sea of people are screaming lyrics back at us." I tried to explain what I was thinking in the best possible way.

"Yeah, it's just really weird to land in another country, play and get great feed back. We've never left Australia before, so coming here takes a lot of time to get used to," Josh added, looking at the Steve while I looked at him. I didn't want to look into the camera, I knew it would be facing me, x-raying all my thoughts, memories and lies.

"Have you guys ever said or done something that shouldn't be done here?" Steve asked. We all laughed and looked at each other.

"Who's gonna answer that one?" Vinnie asked, bouncing up and done as he laughed. I slowly calmed myself down and looked at Steve.

"We've done thing's that people here don't understand... Our sense of humor is really outrageous. There's probably a thousand thing's we've done, I can't pin point one," Josh said, looking at me, asking me to answer the question.

"Ah," John chimed in. "Actually, we all call each other gay, or fags... It's not meant to be really offensive or anything, it's just a thing that we find funny. We were talking to Frankie from My Chem while we were traveling from one venue to the next, and someone called someone else a gay fag for spilling water, and Frankie was kinda like 'what the fuck?' but we explained that it's a black humor thing Aussies have," it was silent for a few seconds, I don't think any of the Americans found that funny, although us Aussies did.

"I actually went driving the other night with Frankie and Bob, we were going to get Happy Meals because we couldn't sleep... So, I decided that it would be a good idea for me to drive. It was just really fucking insane and weird driving on the right side of the road," I began, catching the attention of the rest of Hella, because they had not heard this story I was beginning to tell: "I came to an intersection, Bob and Frankie were saying something about how I always bit my bottom lip when I'm thinking... So I got distracted and I turned and started driving on the left side of the road. They yelled at me after I had realized what I was doing," everyone laughed at me, and I couldn't help but join in.

"Wow, you do actually do that a lot," Josh said, looking at me in surprise.

"You've known me what? A billion years and you just noticed?!" We all laughed and started saying things under our breathes, making us laugh even more.

"So, how did you guys form the band?" Steve cut in.

"We just wanted to be in a band, so we talked about it and started to play," John simply said.

"Pretty much," Vinnie agreed.

"Yeah," Josh added.

"But, were you guys friends before the band started or did you guys just meet, then start?"

"We've been friends since kindergarten, and we've always talked about being in a band... So one day, we were just bored and pretty much rejected from society, so we started mucking around with instruments in Josh's garage. It was pretty much a joke, but I kinda butted in one day and said that it could actually work if they wanted to be in a band as much as I did," I stated, remembering the days where it seemed impossible for us to ever be where we are now.

"What's the relationship between you guys? Do you ever fight or anything?"

"Oh God. We fight a lot, sometimes they are serious, sometimes it's not," I looked at John, who had said that. Then, I realized, John never really speaks me, heart to heart. It's like we are just causal friends, more than best friends. I've hardly seen John be truthful.

"Yeah, but we are pretty tight. I mean, these guys are my family. I don't know where I would be without them," I added, looking at John, making sure he heard it just as Josh and Vinnie.

"Have any of you dated or been with Del?" We all froze, my face began to sting; as if little sparks of fire were flying onto my cheeks. I looked over to Josh, his eyes were wide open.

"No. Del has always been the little sister to me. None of us could go any further than being like family with her... And none of us are inbred," the whole area burst into laughter.

"Okay, this is a question for Del," my heart was racing, I knew he was leading up to this. "Are you dating anyone?" My whole world shot to Gerard, I was sucked into my mind, actually feeling his touch and the feeling he sprayed onto me. I went blank as everyone waited for me to answer.

"No, I'm not dating anyone."

My mind went into immediate shock and then blocked itself from the world.Fuckface, fuckface, fuckface, I'm not listening! Lalalalalalalalalala! I didn't and never wanted to hear what they all had to say. So, I put on a fake smile, a roll of the eyes and sarcastic laugh, all while shutting myself down from the world- Wait, the cruel world.

It gets me so
Down, down, down, down.


When the interview was over, I almost ran out of there and to the bus.

Tidal waves, they rip right through me.
Tears from eyes, worn cold and sad.
Pick me up now, I need you so bad.


Before anyone had a chance to get to the bus first, I crashed right in there. Rushing to my suitcase, I fumbled for the packet of smokes; that he gave me. I finally found them, and just stared.
Why did I feel like not smoking any of them? Why did I feel like saving it?...Until I could share them...with him? Why did he make me fall to my knees in my mind, and beg for more?
Why am I even here, asking these questions?

"The world owes me," I spoke. No, it owes you nothing. My head argued. "Why the fuck am I talking to myself?" I ripped myself away just as the guys came rushing in.

"Holy fuck! What kinda crack is that fag on?!" John yelled, as if we could hear him. A smoke ended up slipping from the packet, and falling into my hands.

"Hi, I'm Steve and I suck cock for a living," Vinnie mimicked, making all of us crack up.

"He was a fuck. Del, he gave you hell," my name was called by Josh's voice, and my head struck right to him.

"I know. But, that's what we gotta deal with, it comes with the job description. But, we don't have to care," were those my wise words? Josh's lips curled into a smile. He came over to me and patted my shoulder.

"The old and smart Del is back," he said, making me slowly grin. He walked away and into the bathroom, leaving me with Bevus and Butthead.

"Well, my genius brain and I need to enrich ourselves with nicotine," I stated as I began to walk towards the bus door.

"Wow, what the hell happen to Del's arse? Its not as luscious as it was before..." John's voice cooed into my ears. I stopped in my tracks and turned around.

"What the fuck?" I couldn't help but say.

"Seriously, you are loosing weight really fast...I haven't seen you yet in two days!" Vinnie joined in. Sudden realization sprung into my head, causing me to look down at myself. I hadn't noticed, but I had gone a notch down on my belt...

"Okay, okay! Quickly! Give me something to eat!" I rushed in panic, wanting to fatten myself up before I became one of those 'I'm not eating' girls; even though, I probably was becoming one.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I yelled, looking at the packet's of peanuts in the cupboard.

"Well, well, well," I was stopped just as I got a hold of the packet of peanuts. "Look who comes running back." He began, taking the packet from me and dangling it in my face. "You've come running back for my peanuts to fatten you up. Well, this is not acceptable," my head shot once John start cackling in the background.

"Okay! Yes, I came running back to your peanuts."

"That's not good enough! You have hurt their feelings, and now you must apologize!" The cackling grew as Josh joined in with John.

"Fine! I apologize to the fucking peanuts!" I said -regretfully- as I tried to grab them.

"Oh! How nice of you, fucking peanuts?. I don't think they want to hear that!"

"Gah! The peanuts are great, they look really nice and they have great fashion! Can I please have them?"

"Maybe...But first you must say how great the owner of the peanuts are," I rolled my eyes and snatched the packet from him, walking away.

"Wait!" I heard Vinnie call, I turned around and put my hand on my hip. "Take a packet of chips too," he threw me a big packet of Doritos and I smiled. They really do care for me.

I began to walk away from the bus, wanting to find a place where no one would be, so that I could spend the next fifteen minutes alone before the 'meet and greet' signing thing.
I ended up lighting my smoke and walking down a private road. The wind was breathing its summer air onto me, making me feel like this was the perfect weather.
I came closer to the big pine trees and found that the road led to a deserted place among the civilized city. I kept walking, until I saw a log lying a dark green grass, but someone was sitting on that log. I quickly threw the butt to the ground and turned away and began walking back.

"I'm awful just to see, yeah?" I stopped, realizing that the packet of chips rustling in my hand gave it away.

"Was that a question?" I turned around and began walking back.

"Probably not," I smiled weakly as I had gotten closer to him. His weak smile was in full view as I stood a few feet back, afraid of what I should do, or should of done. He moved himself over and looked at the spot, asking me to sit down with him. I sat down and opened the packet of peanuts, saving the chips. The best for last. There was silence, so I began devouring the salty peanuts, telling each one that I hated it before I ate it. No matter how much I hated them, they still tasted good. I missed the feeling of being almost full, and needed more.

"I'm eating like the cookie monster," I manged to say, just as I opened the packet of Doritos.
I heard him laugh through the sounds of the packet being shaken about as I almost ate the entire thing.

"Hungry?" He asked, with a cheeky grin. My mouth was full and I stopped attacking them, I offered him some. "Why, thank you," he said, laughing and taking a few.

"Don't smile," I stated, going back to my war with the chips.

"Why not?" I stopped and looked at him, wiping away the crumbs.

"What do you mean why not? It's obvious you smile to tease me," I said just as simple as that. I watched him as he playfully rolled his eyes and showed a grin.

"You got me," I laughed. "Y'know, the way you talk is pretty cool."

"I fuckin' know ay mate?! I'm just gonna go light up a durry and take a piss in the shitta!" I watched as he started to crack up, making me grin and hold in my laughter.

"I have no idea about what that means," he tried to say. I came to the end of the Doritos and looked out.

"We come from pretty different worlds," my mouth spilled.

"We do. You've grown up in a place with kangaroos everywhere and I grew up in a place where everyone would get killed for stepping outside," I smile and looked down.

"Oh, Australia is crime free," I rolled my eyes and laughed. "I meant that you grew up in man's world and I grew up in a..." How do I end it?

"A women's world?" His eyes shot daggers that went straight into my heart. He call me a women.

"I'm a silly girl, not a women," I softly laughed. I got up and looked at him: "I gotta go...Catch ya 'round," I began walking away.

"Del!" I was stopped, again.

"Yeah?" I asked, walking backwards.

"I'll come by and take you away later tonight?" Don't let your heart race, don't let your heart race!

"Okay," my heart raced.

I began running back to the bus, knowing that I was late, but not caring. He made my heart race.

"Del! Where the fuck have you been?! The others are already there!" I heard Josh yell as soon as he came into my site.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" He grabbed my hand as I reached him. The world before was rushing, like I was on speed. It was the excitement, the tension, the nervous, the lust and confusion making me feel as if I was drugged.

My vision slowed down and hit another alternate reality once the scene got to my brain.

A whole lot of people, standing behind a fence, screaming as they saw us.

I looked away and saw a tent thing, with a long table and chairs; which John and Vinnie were already sitting at.

"Del!" I heard someones scream. "Josh! Hella! Hella! Hella!" I couldn't help but be overwhelmed that anyone would ever be doing this...For us.

We were told to sit down. And, one after another I had to sign a piece of paper with my name; making sure that I said thank you to each and everyone that said they loved us. Of course, there was many people, but there was a shit load to me. I was actually afraid to call them fans...I'd never imaged having any.

"Josh, I really think you are the hottest guitarist, ever." One after another girl would say, wanting a hug; which Josh would give, over and over again.

A girl caught my eye as she walked past John, Vinnie then Josh and straight to me. Her shirt saying I Love MCR.

"You are a slut," my head spun as I closed my eyes in disbelief.

"Sorry?"

"You heard me! How dare you do all that crap to Gee! Gerard is a fucking God, he shouldn't be with some low life skank," The entire place heard what she was saying; filling it with silence.

"Who should he be with then?" I asked, calmly.

"Not you," she spat.

"That's really funny. You have the nerve to come to me and say that, but yet you are infatuated with Gerard's personal life. Am I the low life, or are you?" A big guy dressed in black started rushing over.

"You are."

"Go fuck yourself and while you're at it, try and not listen to rumors. Back home, we call people like you gullable." I could have exploded, but I didn't. Maybe I craved Gerard the way I did, because it was the bad thing to do...And I'm a trouble maker. I watched the girl turn away with a huff as the security man approached and wander away from the crowd.

We had met and signed everything we could, so then we were told that we had to go.
But, as we did; the small crowd of girls screaming for Josh, manged to get past the guards, through the gates and to us.

"Oh shit," I began to laugh as Josh’s face turned into fear itself.

"Ooo, have fun!" I laughed as I stuck up my thumbs.

The small group of girls, turned into the rest of the crowd, coming towards us. Screaming out to Josh, he was attacked, and I was being pushed away from him as others asked for me to sign things because they didn't get the chance.

"I, can't, breathe!" I heard Josh cry out as he began to get swallowed into the girls; who were trying to get a piece of the cake before it was taken. It was worse than Mosh Pit I had ever been in.

I tried searching for Josh in the small crowd of screaming girls as others shoved various items and paper my way to sign. I was partially shocked that people actually wanted my autograph and also partially scared for Josh’s life as a pair of converse shoes was shoved into my hands along with a marker. What the…? I looked down to see a teen girl staring fondly back at me, shorter than I was. Her blonde-brown hair was messy, obviously from the mosh pits and the back was cut shorter than her front and she stared at me with deep brown eyes.

“Uhm…” I started, looking back at the shoe, not exactly sure what to do with it.

“Can you sign it?” I looked back up to see her round face break into a embarrassed smile.

“Oh, sure.” Nodding I hesitantly took the lid off the marker and examined the shoe. Josh’s name was already sprawled across its surface in his messy handwriting, she must have been one of the first girls to mob him. “So, what’s your name” I asked as I added my name near by Josh’s.

“Emilee.” She squeaked, amlost like you could hear her blushing. I smiled to myself. Here was a girl who was shy to meet me. Me. Wow. “I like your hair.” I informed her as I finished with the shoe and handed it back.

“Thanks. Um…” She blushed a more. “Can I have a photo with you Del?” With me? She wanted a photo with me?”

“Yeah, okay..sure.” I laughed and posed for the photo and was then pulled away by Josh who had managed to escape the screaming teenies with minimual injuries. I glanced back towards the direction of the young girl, Emilee, who was now walking towards John. Glancing down at her feet to see only one shoe. She took her shoe off for us…that’s different.

“Wow.” The words spilled from his lips as he led me away, hands tightly clutched around my wrists. “That was intense.”

“Yeah, pity you couldn’t get attention like that when we were in highschool.” I mocked, causing him to throw me a dirty glare.

“Could too.”

“In your dreams.” I added, just to piss him off. Although now it was quiet obvious he had no problems getting any girl. They all loved the hot Australian guitarist, with those piercing emerald eyes and a smile that could melt. Not to mention his toned body which even I noticed. Having fans respond this way was amazing, and my stomach flipped with joy.

- - - - - - - - - -

The day replayed itself in my mind like a never ending silent movie as I stared up towards the bunk above me as I lay on my own thin matress. We have fans Those simple words kept replaying through my mind, and of course we didn’t have a large fan base, but we at least had fans. My body tingled from the excitement and exhaustion of it all, as I lay in the dark. Our own fans. Hella fans.

“Oi Del!” A familiar face appeared around the corner of the bunk, scaring me and causing my body to jump in fright. “We ordered pizza. Come eat.” Vinnie spoke through a mouthful of pizza before I could even answer, then disappeared back around the corner.

Pulling my tired body out from underneath the bunk I made my way to where the other three were gathered around a large pizza box.

“Look Del! It’s Spaghetti Pizza!” Spaghetti Pizza? I thought to myself, scrunching my face up in confusion and turning to the direction of the voice where John was cheerfully pulling a slice of thin pizza from the box which was covered in spaghetti.

“Yeah. It’s Spaghetti…and it’s Pizza!” John cheerfully yelled again like a five year old. Obviously this new creation came as some sort of shoking surprise to our small minded drummer.

“Spaghetti Pizza?” I repeated, my brain still trying to grasp the theory of Spaghetti on pizza as I wandered closer to the table and took a look in the box at the bake pizza covered in pasta. “Whatever happened to normal pizza toppings?” I asked, turning to watch Vinne devulge a pizza slice, the corners of his mouth stained a tinge of orange from the bologneise sauce.

None of the three men answered my question as they continued to devour the entire pizza, as fast as they could. You’d think no one had ever fed them before.

“I’ll pass.” I finally decided, instead grabbing a cigarette from the box left on the table and left the warmth of the bus and into the cool night air.
Walking over to the side of the bus to lean on, I took the cancer stick and placed it firmly between my lips then fumbled in my jean pockets for the plastic lighter I had stuffed in their earlier. This proved to be a battle in its own right as the lighter was firmly stuck at the bottom of the tight pockets of my skinny jeans.

“Here.” A soft voice said as a bright glowing flame was brought towards the cigarette in my mouth, lighting it up before retreating back to its owner.

“Thanks Gerard.” I replied after taking a long drag and blowing the thick smoke from the corner of my mouth.

“I said I’d come by and take you away, remember?” A mischevious smile crept across his face as my heart skipped a beat. I nodded. “Let’s go.”

He laced his hand into my own making my heart begin to race faster. Nervous but excited at the same time as he took lead and began walking away from the bus and into the shadowy night.

“Where are we going?” I asked, throwing the cigarette aways into the dirt and allowing him to lead me into the darkness of the evening with only the angelic glow of the moon to guide our way through the night as we approached a dimly lit park ahead.

“See this park?” He pointed into the air infront of us then turned to face me, the features of his face blanketed from the dark night while his eyes softly glowing under the light of the moon. “There’s this lake inside. It’s beautiful.” He flashed his nerve sparking smile and turned away to look ahead, leading us both into the park.

We walked down a concrete path which weaved it’s way through the trees as the moon shone dimly through the folage of leaves. Our feet shuffling quietly along the path as Gerard led us deeper into the park.

“So what did you think of today?” He finally spoke, slowing his pace down to a casual stroll as I quickly followed and did the same. “You had a meet and greet yeah?”

“Yeah.” I smiled as the memories of the day flooded back into my mind. The thought of Josh being moobed by young girls caused a small chuckle to escape from the depths of my chest.

“A laugh? Do tell.” Gerard joked, looking back at me with those sparkling eyes which made me weak at the knees.

“After we signed the autographs, Josh got mobbed by a bunch of screaming girls.”

“Happens to me all the time.” Gerard laughed, flicking his free hand infront of him in a casual gesture then pulling a serious face like the thought of being mobbed happened to him daily. Which ofcourse, it probably did.

We fell into silence before Gerard broke the it once again.

“So Del, I read somewhere that you were born in Melbourne?” He asked, scanning my face to see for any sign that he was correct.

“Yeah, that’s right. Where’d you read that?”

“On the internet.” I smiled. He’s been reading up on me. “The guys and I typed Hella into Google when we found out we’d be travelling with you.” Not just me. A knife plundged itself into my heart.

“Okay then Mr ‘I typed your name into Google,’ here’s some trivia for you.” I let go of his hand which had stayed laced in my ownl the whole time and walked infront of him, turning around to face him as we kept walking and I tried to multi-task. Walking backwards whilst talking at the same time. “How old am I?”

“Easy, twenty three..” He rolled his eyes as if to say I couldn’t of asked a more easier or stupid question.

“Yes. But, do you know my birthdate?” I watched as the sarcastic expression dropped from his face and he thought of the answer.

“19th of September 1982” I cut him off before he had a chance to reply. “On a beautiful Spring morning.” I added, just for the heck of it as he broke into laughter.

“Fine then. Bet you don’t know my birthday?” He joked sarcastically, now testing my knowledge of himself.

“Well, I don’t know that.exactly. It’s April right? But I know you’re 28.” I laughed, searching my brain for the answer. I knew I’d read it somewhere.

“9th of April, 1977. And since it’s the year 2005- Yes I am 28.” He stated matter of factly.

“I was close.”

“Not even.” We both fell into laughter as I turned around to walk in the right direction again. Unsure whether or not to take hold of his hand liked he’d done before. Part of me was begging to do it, the other part, was scared. This other part was obviously my brain. At least it has some logic.

He bet me to it, taking hold of my hand again, warming it, as the shadow of a lake appeared infront of us in. The moon’s reflection glowing upon the dark surface of the water as we approached it after only a short walk.

“Here we are.” His voice chorused from beside me as we approached the edge of the lake and looked out over it’s dark surface.

The lake was in a small clearing where the trees weren’t as thick as they had been when we’d walked down a path. A bridge had been built over across the shadowy surface of the water leading to the other side, casting a shadow across the still surface of the water.

“Let’s go on the bridge.” Now I took the lead as I led him by the hands towards the white bricked bridge.

We made our way onto the bridge and to the thick railing to look at our surrondings. The brick was cold under my fingertips as I placed my hands gently on the railing to look at the still water below.
There was movement next to me as I turned to see Gerard climbing onto the railing.

“What are you doing?” I almost yelled in shock as he successfully climbed onto the railings and stood up, trying to keep his balance.

“Standing.” He muttered, raising his arms out from his sides and lifting his head towards the moon as the cool breezed gently whipped at his jet black locks.

“You’re gonna fall.” I stated, then pushed my body away from the edge and began walking down the other side of the birdge. Occasionally looking back to watch Gerard as he tried to walk across the railing.

There was a sudden splashing sound which made me jump in shock as I turned around to find I was alone.

“Gee!?” I screamed, rushing back to the railing and looking down to see the dark water below had been disturbed.

Panic rushed through my body quickly joined by adrenline. What if he can’t swim?” My mind was screaminhg and before I knew it, I found myself climbing over the railing and falling into the dark water below.

My body was quickly plumpted into the icy water as it overtook all my senses. I held my breath as I struggled to find my way back to the surface for air when I felt two strong arms wrap around my wait and I opened my eyes only to be met by the dark clouded figure of Gerard. Unable to make out his features in the clouded dark water which burned my eyes as I quickly shut them again, wrapped in his arms.

We rose up slowly, As if we didn't belong to the outside world any longer. Like swimmers in a shadowy dream, who didn't need to breathe. It felt like forever had passed under the water.

I dared to re-open my eyes as we floated on the surface of the water, kicking our feet below the surface in order to stay afloat.
My body shook from the chilly water as I realised his arms were still wrapped around my body. I stared at him. His has plastered to his head as his gaze focused onto my own. No words needed to be spoken as we both leaned towards eachother, our lips meeting once again as my body exploded into ecstacy. The sensation I found myself getting whenever we kissed.

Then we broke away.

“Let’s go back. I’m soaked.” He smiled, his eyes glazed over as they shone out under the moons glows. I nodded without saying a word, partly disappointed but also wanting to get out of the water.

We paddled back to the lake’s edge and pulled our body’s back to land. The cool night air chilled my skin as it broke into goosebumps.

“You’re freezing Del.” I heard his voice from behind me as I felt his arms wrap around my wait briefly, showing that he did care, before moving to gently rub the sides of my arms in some attempt of warmth before taking my hand and leading me back in the direction we came from.

We walked in silence back to the bus’. Occasionally glancing at one and other, smiles plastered on our faces as we walked the trip back down the concrete path.

“Del! Gee! Where’ve you been?” A famillar voice called in the distance as we got back, and Frank came running towards us.

Automatically, like we were some kind of deahtly virus, we threw our hands away from each other. People were meant to think we hated eachother, but it was too late. Frank saw.

He stopped running and placed his hands on his hips. His eyebrows raised and his expression suspecting as the surronding lights lit up his face.

“What?” We both replied, our voices slightly shocked as we both recognised the questioning expression on his face.

“So it’s true!” Frank finally said cheerfully, removing his hands from his hips and clapping them together as if he’d just answered the final question of a cheesy game show and won the million dollars.

“No!” We replied in unison, but was not enough to convince Frank who just began laughing.

“Del and Gee, sitting in a tree-” He began laughing, turning and walking back towards the bus’. “-K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“If you say anything I’m gonna kill you!” Gerard shouted, chasing after him as they both disappeared inside the My Chem bus and I was left alone in the dark.

What will happen now… A nagging thought caught itself in the back of my mind. Now Frank knew, things would be awkward. No one was meant to know. Gerard would be distant again, I knew it. I just wish he wouldn’t.

I shook my head, realising I was soaked and freezing. Wrapping my arms back around my slender figure I headed back into the bus where Josh, John and Vinnie had polished off the pizza and were now sitting on the couch watching a movie, there stomachs sticking out in front of them like the Aussie bogans they are.

“How did you manage to go out for a smoke, and end up wet from head to toe?” Josh asked, turning to me with a questioning look as the other two managed to pull their eyes away from the screen and stare.

“Uh..it rained.” I lied, hurrying past them and into the bathroom to take a warm shower.

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