This, Is Getting Over You

I stood on the empty stage, alone. The bright lights from above shone down on me, burning my eyes so that everything out in front of my slender body was swallowed into darkness. The microphone was clenched tightly in my nervously sweating hands as my heart began beating faster, faster, faster-
“Del, Wake up!” His excited squeal and the sudden gripping of my arms awoke me from my doze.

“Fuck Josh! I was asleep,” I moaned angrily, lifting my throbbing head from the window and glancing at the young brunette man sitting next to me in the uncomfortable navy plane seats.

“Oh. Delilah was sweeping,” He said playfully, scrunching his face into a pout that made his emerald eyes gleam inside the darkness of the plane’s grim interior. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and gave him a whack over the head, causing him to grimace. He knew I hated him calling me Delilah. Sure, my parents had given me a weird name, Del. But Delilah was Josh’s pet name, he knew that I hated it as much as cold showers, and he had called me that ever since the first day we met in kindergarten when he stole my vegemite sandwich and made me cry.

“We are here Del. Look-“ He quickly changed his expression to one of amazement as he lifted his thin fingers and pointed towards the window behind me. I shifted again in the small seat and looked out into the darkness where the New York city skyline shone below us, like billions of stars in a sea of black.

My jaw dropped in astonishment. I was here. We were here. Everything we’d spent the last three years working for was now coming true. We’d worked so hard to become known amongst the other bands in the Melbourne music culture, then we got recognised by a small record label who signed us and began to promote us. After that, conquering the Australian Music charts was as easy as your ABC’s. All we had to do was be ourselves, Play our music, dress our style and just have fun. So, we did. Everyday was a new adventure as our band became more well known. I would sing, Josh would be on guitar- and was the best I’d ever heard, while his twin brother John would beat away at his drums and Vinnie would strum at the base. We were great, no, we were dynamite. And now it was time to take on the real thing, The United States of America. Going to the U.S was every bands dream, and we had been given a chance to play on the annual Warped Tour.

We landed late in the evening, the plane sliding gracefully along the runaway and finally stopping. Gathering the few belonging’s we had taken on board, we trailed our exhausted bodies out of the plane and into the airport which remained busy even in the dead of the night.

“It really is the city which never sleeps.” Vinnie spoke in awe as he pulled his thick fringe of blonde hair from his eyes and glanced around the busy airport. Josh snorted at his side, slinging his guitar case over his shoulders and began walking ahead, followed by Vinnie and his brother. I lingered behind for the slightest of moments to watch the three figures walk in front which stood out from the crowd. Their different hairstyles, tight clothing and band tees. An image which had been labelled as ‘emo’ by some of our harshest critics, but we were far from it. Josh and John were almost identical in looks except for Josh’s brown locks and John’s black ones, but completely different in personalities. Josh was my best friend, he had too much energy for his own good sometimes, while John was his exact opposite. Quiet and reserved, but was extremely funny at times. Vinnie was shorter than the other two with white blonde hair, a bit odd I must admit but he liked being different. That was his style and plus, his pants fit me perfectly unlike John and Josh’s who’s jeans are too big.

“Come on Del.” John turned around to smile at me while the other two continued walking towards the baggage collection, fading into the crowd of people. “We gotta go, there is meant to be a van or something waiting out front to take us to the venue.” He shrugged and stood still, waiting for me to move.

“The venue?” I questioned him, my face pulling a clearly confused look causing him to start laughing.

“Do you remember a little something called, Warped Tour?” Suddenly it clicked. Warped Tour meant tons of bands, thousands of fans, lots of alcohol. Oh shit. I just got off a plane and had to face some of the biggest bands in the US, not to mention my heroes?

“Fuck. Go ahead John. I’ll be back.” I spluttered, running off in the direction of the closest ladies room. I heard the faint voice of John call my name behind me, but I knew he’d follow the others and I dodged through the masses of bodies down the structured airport halls.

Finally the sign of a bathroom came into view. I ran a little faster, slamming the palms of my pale hands into the wooden door and pushing it open, almost knocking out an elderly woman who was coming out. She glared angrily at me as I mumbled quick apologises and ran to towards the mirror hanging over the white basins. Staring back at me was a young woman, around twenty-four. A mass of messy black hair contrasted with the ghostly white of her skin as a pair of icy blue eyes stared out from underneath the stray locks of her fringe, mascara and eyeliner severely smudged from the long and tiring journey she’d travelled. Her tiny built body was limp and exhausted and there was a coffee stain on her white t-shirt.

“Fuck….” I muttered at the sight of my own reflection. A mother who stood close by protectively covered the ears of her innocent daughter and threw a dirty look into my direction, reflected by the pure glass of the mirror. “Uh...sorry.” I muttered so more, rolling my eyes as I turned the taps on. The icy cold water freezing my hands, but made me feel human. After spending around forty-eight hours travelling to the other side of the world, the slightest breath of fresh air or water could help make anyone feel human. I desperately tried to fix the mascara smudges and coffee stain with my wet hands, but without any luck had to give up and settle with the disgraceful girl, which reflected herself in the mirror.

“Well America. The first time you get to see me, I look like something fucking sat on top of me.” My comment caused another disgusted mother to glance in my direction. I looked over my shoulder and stuck out my tongue, hadn’t she ever heard of sarcasm? These Americans. I waved a quick sarcastic goodbye at the woman and ran out the bathroom door only to hear disgusted comments from behind it as I ran towards the baggage area to meet the others.

I waited as everyone took turns in taking their luggage

I laughed to myself as I watch Josh try to manage carrying all of his suitcases which weighed more than the whole a car, and that was per bag.

"Jesus fucking Christ Josh, you probably carrying more than Paris Hilton," I stated, hearing muffled laughter.

"Shut the fuck up. We'll see what happens when you run out of clean clothes." I smiled to myself. Josh was the intelligent one, the mathematical nerd behind the guitar.

A thought had popped up in my mind as I grabbed one out of two of my suitcases.

What happens if we are hated here?

The thought frightened me. I began to wander why the thought even came up. I mean, I was never really one to worry about popularity. I tried my best to shrug the thought off, so that I could get back to reality. I picked up both of my suitcases and turned around to say something, but no one was there. I looked ahead and saw the others running out of the entrance doors. I gripped onto both of my suitcases and began to jog, finally picking up my pace, and catching up with the others. When we all got to the parking lot, we noticed something we had come to know quiet well; our shit van. It was parked with a black hair girl standing near it, calling out to us.

"Aah, good ol' buddy," Vinnie said, patting the van as if it was a dog. I deeply sighed, knowing that we were going to be cramped inside the mini van for the next 7 months.

"Hi you guys!" The black hair women, around my age, yelled with excitement. Her accent set me back a few steps because I was expecting her to say something along the lines of 'G'day mate,' or something like that.
She began to talk to us, but to be honest, I really couldn't concentrate. It was like I was in some kind of American movie. "You must be Del."

"Ah, Del?"

"What?" I said, snapping out of it.

"Y'know, staring is kind of rude. And so is ignoring someone," John said as he nudged my shoulder.

"Oh, ah...Sorry, I'm just kind of memorized by your accent," I told her, she laughed and began to talk again. I quickly became more fascinated about her, she talked with her hands while waving her arms around. Her arms attracted me to stare even more. She had tattoo sleeves going up both arms. Beaming colours making there way up her invisible skin

"New Jersey?!"

"When will we get there?" I yet again snapped out of it.

"We'll probably arrive around mid day."

I watched as Vinnie helped the girl put the bags and crap into the van, who I found out was going to be a tour manager for the next few months until our Australian tour manager flies over. Her name was Emma.

The thought I had before seemed to creep to the front of my mind yet again. I felt nervous, I just didn't know how fans here, were going to take us. Meeting other bands added to the tension twisting in my chest; we were the only non-American band in this years Warped tour.

I stuffed my trembling hand inside my pocket of my pants, I pulled out a packet of cigarettes and took one out of the packet. I quickly put it between my cold and cracked lips and lit it up.

I got my ipod and turned it on. The sounds of music mixed in with the dirty smoke rushed into my veins, helping me to breathe.

I'm tired of being bored
I'm through with the head aches
Hiding my hands
They tremble like Earthquakes
Under the table
Under the day time sky

Good fucking bye...

We spent the next few ours cramped inside the tiny van. My legs were draped over Josh's legs, he never minded me doing it.

Josh truly was my best friend just because of the things he would let me do and the things he would understand about, things that no one else would ever get a chance to even know about. I watched myself drift off to sleep in the reflection of the mirror.

When you loose hope
And it's hard to call
Watching materially with sober eyes
At day break and sunset
All hours in between I spend murdering time...

My eyes began to twitch as a felt something repeatedly hit my face.
I slowly lifted my eyes and came out of my dreams. I sighed deeply at what I had found to be reality. John was throwing peanuts and my face and Vinnie was laughing. I couldn't help but laugh myself.

"John, please. If you want to have balls, I suggest you fuck off."

"Fine, ruin the fun grumpenstien," I laughed and closed my tired eyes while I got up. I rubbed my face and brushed my hair back. I can’t remember when I last brushed my hair; it had knots all through it.
I slowly opened my eyes with a weary yawn. I found that the van had stopped and was park in a parking lot surrounded by buses.

"Where the fuck are we?" I asked, looking around. The sun shot into my eyes almost blinding me.

"New Jersey. Come out and grab your stuff so we can put it in the bus." Emma told me through the open window.

"What?" I questioned like an idiot.

"The bus..."

"Bus?"

"Oh my God Del. Yes, a bus, did you sleep yourself a brain tumor or something?" John said throwing another peanut at me. My eyes went wide open...

"You mean...We actually have a tour bus? No tiny van?" She nodded at me. My mouth dropped. "Holy shit!" I screamed out with a shot of excitement rushing into my bloodstream.

"It's the third one down," Vinnie explained.

"Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!" I screamed again, crashing the van door open. I began to jump around like a two year old. "I'm gonna go look at our bus!" I screamed, yet again.

I began to run. I didn't know when was the last time I had felt this excited. I just can't believe it, our very first tour bus. No more sleeping on each other, no more being pushed into the window, no more 'the corners game I'm so gonna kill you and win', and finally, no more small town band in a van.

I was happy.

As I fan down the parking lot, the gravel soon turned into grass, then wet grass, then slightly muddy wet grass then finally mud. I didn't care about it, I just wanted to run to the bus.

"Last one there fucked John's mum last night!" I heard Vinnie yell as he rushed by me.

"Oh you ass!" I heard John coming beside me.

"Y'know John...I wouldn't mind coming last, at least you will get to finally know I fucked your mum," I then heard Josh say from behind me, even though I had no idea how that works…they had the same mum.

I saw Vinnie run into the bus first, I quickly came second, John third and Josh fucked John's mum last night.

When I walked in, it was like heaven on Earth.

I didn't say anything while the other guys fought over beds. I couldn't believe how far we had come, how much we had grown and changed.

I looked around it more. There was one window, which was tinted almost black. I looked through it and saw into the bus that was next to ours. I saw two guys, who were fighting over a pack of chips. I laughed to myself.

I still can't believe that this isn't a dream.

"I'm going out for a smoke."

I walked off the bus and out onto the mud. I felt it go through my worn out converses. I yet again let the smoke over take my senses.

I let the cancer fill me as I looked up to the sky. It was cloudy and began to turn a light shade of purple as the sun hide behind the horizon.

So you broke down
Trying to leave town
I broke down crying on your return
You left me, feeling hopeful
I'd never see your face again.

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later..." I heard someone say, but before I even got a chance to turn around and see who it was, I felt warmth and a break which knocked me to the ground face first. Leaving me covered in mud.

"What the fuck!" I screamed as loud as I could. My happiness had melted into anger as I wiped the mud away from my eyes.

"Fuck! Aw man, I'm so fucking sorry!"

"Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed at the warm touch that shiver across my muddy arm.
I turned myself over and sat in the mud, angrily wiping away the mud that was on every part of my body. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! I yelled out, not even bothering to look up to the dumb fuck that stupid ran into me.

"It's called a fucking accident..." I finally looked up and I froze.

You're made for bad lovers
Leave all your soul all the colours
That busted my head
You made me, such an asshole
I wish we never met...

"I-" I tried.

"-No. Fuck you."