My Name is Trouble

Ryan.

I don't know how to tell you this, but i've kept it to myself for too long. It hurts both of us too much keeping it a secret. So it's time to tell you everything. I love you Ryan. So much.

Everything you do drives me mad. You walk into a room and you bring warmth, yet you still send chills down my spine. You look at me and I melt. You hug me, or brush a hand over mine, and my mind spins. Every touch turns me on...and it shouldn't. I'm sorry. It seems I can't control my heart. It beats too fast for you. Completely out of tune.

I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand being around you and trying to hide my discomfort when the butterflies take off. I need to get away. This is the last time that i'll hold your hand. I want to kiss you on the mouth and tell you i'm your biggest fan.

I love you Ryan. As hard as that may be for you to understand. I'm sorry if I treated you differently. I just wanted to be close to you. I guess I was wrong to string you along. Whenever I needed out, I made you follow me. We walked around town, just me and you, and all the time I was completely aroused. And when I got home, when I was alone, all I could do was make love to your memory. I'm ashamed, and i'm sorry.

But please. Please don't hate me. Never hate me. I know i've done things wrong. I know I stole your coat and you forgave me. So please, forgive me. I wrote you a song. It's attached to this letter. Though it can't make up for the things i've done. Especially now. Telling you this feels like i'm breaking the law. My love is a crime. That's why I have to go. I probably wont come back. But never forget that I love you.
More then anything.
Brendon,

Well I've had this secret
And I feel it's time that you should know
When I'm in your arms it turns me on
But I've got a conscience too
And it says my heart's never in tune
With anything I do
So this is the last time that I'll hold your hand
I want to kiss you on the mouth and tell you
I'm your biggest fan
I'm your biggest fan
I've had this secret
And now it's time that you should know
I was wrong to string you along
But circulating the streets in the pulsing heat
I scoured your town, completely aroused
And making love to your memory
So this is the last time that I'll hold your hand
I want to kiss you on the mouth and tell you
I'm your biggest fan
This is the last time that I'll hold your hand
I want to kiss you on the mouth and tell you
I'm your biggest fan
Sad minion of mine
Don't be so unkind
I know I stole your coat
You can have this song I wrote
I've just crossed the line
From fashion to crime
It's such a perfect fit
When I am wearing it
Sad minion of mine
Don't be so unkind
I know I stole your coat
You can have this song I wrote
I've just crossed the line
From fashion to crime
So this is the last time that I'll hold your hand
I want to kiss you on the mouth and tell you
I'm your biggest fan
This is the last time that I'll hold your hand
I want to kiss you on the mouth and tell you
I'm your biggest fan
So this is the last time that I'll hold your hand
(I wanna) Kiss you on the mouth and tell you
I'm your biggest fan
I'm your biggest fan