All I Ever Wanted

“Do you want to watch a movie?”
I try to wrap my head around the fact that Alex just kissed me at the same time that I try to process whatever he just asked me.
“Um... sorry, what’d you say?”
“…Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Oh… Yeah, sure.”
Alex gets off of his bed and walks over to his TV which is sitting on his dresser. There’s a giant stack of DVD’s next to it.
“Come over here and pick one.”
So I get up and walk over to him, do a quick once-over and see a few that I like, but not my favorite.
“Do you have Finding Nemo?”
I look up at him and he bites his lip. I’m guessing that’s a no.
“Well… No, I don’t… Why, did you want to watch it?”
“It’s my favorite movie. But no big deal, I like Little Miss Sunshine almost as much.”
“Well if you really want to watch Finding Nemo, I’m sure Rian or Zack must have it… I could go look if you want.”
“No, really. It’s fine. Let’s watch this.”

I hold out the yellow DVD case for Little Miss Sunshine and he smiles.
“This is actually my favorite movie,” he states, going over to the DVD player and pressing the ‘open’ button.

I watch from his bed as he waits for it to load. I’m starting to think it’s a little weird for me to be on his bed. We’ve known each other for less than a week. If he tries anything, I know self defense. But I don’t think we’ll have a problem… he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that would try something. But what do I know.

“The ending of this movie is the best ending to any movie every made,” he tells me, sitting down next to me and kicking off his shoes. He then lays back and motions for me to do the same.
The smart thing for me to do is say ‘no I’m fine like this’, but I’d rather lie down next to him. So I do, and his arm slips around my shoulders. Fine by me.

We watch about an hour of the movie. The rest of the time is spent talking about nothing, really. Our favorite colors (his is blue, mine’s green), favorite food (we both agree on pizza) and our all time favorite band (his is Blink182 and mine is Green Day). Then it turns serious.

“So, you’re applying to college about now, right?”
“Yeah, it sucks. It takes so long.” I complain, putting my arm over my eyes. I hate the application process.
“What schools are you thinking about?”
“Definitely FIT. The Fashion Institute of Technology? I really want to go there.”
“That’s in New York City, right? I’ve heard of it.”
“Yeah. My guidance counselor made me apply to Hofstra on Long Island, too. And I applied to NYU, Colombia, and Fordham. Mr. Brown wasn’t a big fan of those choices, but whatever.”
“Why not? He doesn’t think you can get in?”
“He called them reach schools, which yeah, I understand. But I have good grades.”
“What’s your GPA?”
“3.8. I have a decent chance, I think.”
“You have a great chance.”
“Thanks… I hope so. It would be cool to say that I got into those schools.”

He smiles at me and I return it. I find it pretty cool that I can just lay here with him, just being myself, something I could never really do with Danny. With him, there was always something going on with his stupid stoner friends and I would have to pretend to fit in. Every time one his girl friends (who I’m pretty sure he had had some kind of relationship with at some point) offered me whatever drug they were doing that night, I would always shake my head and they would roll their eyes. Sorry, but I’d like to keep every single brain cell I have, thanks.

Alex leans in and his lips are suddenly on mine. I kiss back, but when he moves his body on top of mine, I freeze. This is too familiar. Not a good familiar, either. So I stop kissing him and gently push his shoulder to get his attention.

“Are you okay?” he asks, shifting to his side.
“Um, yeah. Fine. I was just-”
“If you’re uncomfortable with anything, you let me know, okay? I don’t want you to think we have to do something, because we don’t.”
“I know… It’s just, I was reminded of something and I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s no big deal. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Not yet, at least.”
He nods and says he understands, and then I hear a door slam downstairs. Then somebody stomps up the steps.
“Jack’s back,” Alex says and gets up to turn the TV off.

I sit up and do my best to shake the image of Danny from my head and put my best smile on when Jack shoves the door open.

“Hey! So Rian decided that he’s extremely hungry and wants to go to a dinner. Is that okay?” he asks, looking at me, not Alex.

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.”
“Okay. We’ll be down in a second.”
“What were you doing?” Jack questions with a small smirk on his face.
“Nothing, Jack.”
“Nothing? Yeah, sure. Alright, be down here in five minutes.”

Once the door is closed, Alex sits next to me on his bed. He looks at me carefully for a second and then he sighs.

“Did something happen between you and an ex-boyfriend or something that you didn’t want to happen, Alexis? Because that’s just the feeling I got with what just happened…”
“No. I’m fine, okay? Don’t worry about me,” I say with a reassuring smile. He so obviously does not buy it.
“Alright… I can’t help but worry about you… I’ve known you for like a week and already I like you so much more than I ever expected. At least not this early.”
“Same,” I reply quietly. I’m shocked he heard me. “Let’s go downstairs. I want to meet the rest of your friends.”
“Are you sure? Because we can just stay up here the whole time. They’re very obnoxious.”
“So what? I think I can handle them, Alex.”
Once he’s more than halfway convinced that, yes, I am fine, he takes my hand and leads me downstairs and into his kitchen.
There are 3 boys there. The only one I recognize is Jack, the tall skinny one standing by the microwave, attempting to reheat something, I can only assume. The other 3 I don’t know yet. One is tall and skinny, like Jack, and standing closest to me, and the other who is over by the back door is tall but not quite as thin as Alex, Jack or the other guy.
“You know Jack already, and this is Zack,” Alex points to the one closest to me, and he waves. “And that is Rian.”
I nod and smile at them. I’m feeling slightly nervous, but not as much as I thought I would be. I mean, they’re Alex’s friends, and Alex is nice, so they must be pretty nice, too, right?
“She looks nicer than Julie,” I hear Zack whisper to Jack, and wow, that’s kind of awkward.
I guess that Alex heard them too, because he glares at them.
“So um, what diner are we going to?” Rian questions, looking back and forth from me to Alex. I just stand there, starting to feel a little bit out of place. ‘Who is Julie’ is what I want to ask but I decide to keep my mouth shut.
“Let’s just go to the Imperial Diner. It’s closest.” Jack suggests. He walks up to Alex, pokes him in the side, and takes his keys from the kitchen counter. “Meet you in the car!”
He pushes past Alex who is doubled over, laughing, yet saying ‘ouch’ at the same time.
A half hour later I find myself at the Imperial Diner 3 blocks away from my school, laughing at a joke that Rian just made. The boys are fun, and once I got over the initial awkwardness, it’s actually really comfortable being around them. It’s pretty easy to talk to them, because to be honest they don’t take much seriously. Except their band. They’re very serious about All Time Low.
“So I was saying to Cat how she should move in, but she doesn’t want to.” Rian says, shoving a french fry in his mouth. I’ve learned that Cat, or Catherine, is his long-time girlfriend of 2 years.
“So? I don’t want her to move in. Then there will be even more girly things all over our bachelor pad than there already is.” Jack half yells across the table, and I have to laugh. Bachelor pad? I don’t know about that…
“Why doesn’t she want to? Did she say?” I ask, trying my best to learn more about these guys and get into the conversations.
“Because she says she was always told that you shouldn’t move in with your ‘significant other’ until you’re engaged or married, preferably married though. I don’t really get it.”
“Well, that’s what my family does, but it’s not exactly a mandatory thing.”
“Oh… I don’t know, I mean, I respect her values; obviously, I just think it would be easier. But whatever, I’ll drop it.”
“Good, ‘cause I like our house to be girl-free. Except when I have the occasional lady-friend spend the night, if you get what I mean.” Jack says and there's a sly smile evident on his face as the waitress places his food in front of him. “Do you know what I mean?” he asks her and she just rolls her eyes and leaves. I don’t blame her.
“Well, Jack, nobody really cares what you want. Why do we have to keep telling you that?”
Jack sticks his tongue out and plays the victim for the rest of our time in the dinner. He finishes his food and then slams his head down on the table in an overdramatic fashion and stays that way for a good 15 minutes. Alex tells me that this behavior is completely normal. I can deal with that, I think.

So, it’s currently 8:38 pm and I really should get home to finish my homework, or actually start my homework, but I can’t bring myself to leave. I’m comfortable in my spot on Alex’s bed, watching him tune his guitar. I think guys who can play an instrument are even sexier. Especially guys who play guitars. And Alex can sing, or so his friends say, which is an even bigger plus. He’s the lead singer, so he must be good.
“Are your brothers going to get mad if you’re not home yet?” I hear him ask, and I focus my eyes on him before I answer.
“No. As long as I’m home by 10 they’ll be okay.”
“Okay. I don’t want you to leave yet. I like just hanging out with you. I’ve never really been able to do that with a girl before. We’ve always had to be doing something or they got bored. You’re easy to be around.”
“Thanks,” I feel myself blush, but it goes away when a thought comes to me. “Alex? Did you have a girlfriend named Julie?”
He nods and takes a second to answer. “You heard Zack say that earlier, right? She was my ex-girlfriend. Let’s just say that if Julie had a facebook fan page, they guys would not click ‘become a fan’”.
“Oh my God,” I say, trying my best to cover up my laughter. “Alex, did you just compare her to a facebook fan page?”
He looks at me for a second before a smile breaks out and he covers his face with his hands.
“Yeah, I did.” His laughter fills the room, and I find myself falling for him faster than I was 5 minutes ago.