No One Will Hate You Like I Do

Pandora dressed quickly, her whole body was still shaking. She felt so strange, she new it felt silly but she actually felt more her age. She had made three stupid mistakes, drinking, going home with a man she hardly knew, but was aware he had a sexual interest in her, than actually forgiving him the next morning for deflowering her last night while she was tanked.

Ville was sitting on bed still, he had pulled on a pair of boxers but that was all. He was hunched over, head still buried in his palms. Last night had been perfect to him, he felt like being with her was natural and familiar yet foreign at the same time. It killed him inside to see her react this way the next morning. He had thought she had enjoyed it as much as he did, she had been very passionate, she responded to him better than any lady he'd ever been with. Than he thought maybe she really didn't remember it, he shook his head. He deserved another chance, he didn't want it to end before it began.

"I'm going home now…" She started for the door, Ville jumped up from the bed and grabbed her wrist. Pandora tried to pull away but he was too quick, he grabbed her around the waist and dragged her back into the room. She screamed and he let go of her.

"I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just want to talk to you!" Ville pleaded, Pandora glared at him as she went towards the door again.

"Why didn't you just say that than?" She frowned, putting her hands on her hips. "Why did you jump on me?" Ville paused, his face flushed.

"Um…I thought it was more…personal….sorry." Pandora blinked and shook her head, she walked toward him and sat on the rumbled bed. He smiled softly and moved next to her.

"I want to say I'm sorry again and I hope that you'll still work for me and allow us to use you in our video, please." Pandora looked into his deep eyes and felt her whole body want to melt.

"I'll still work for you…but you must promise to never talk about this, please, I want to pretend it didn't happen." His eyes flickered with hurt.

"I understand," he said, solemnly, "I promise," Pandora nodded, her throat felt like it wanted to cry out. She gently kissed his cheek and left without another word.

Pandora cried as she rode room, the tears ran fast past her cheeks and into the wind behind her. Her heart raced, she panted and whined as her emotion bubbled and overflowed. She rode right to the park she use to always go to with her parents before her mother died. She left her bike at the path and jogged over to the pond and willow tree. Last time she was here, her and her father had shattered her mother's ashes over the willow tree, her mother always said she wished heaven looked like this park and that there was a willow tree next to a pond full of fish, just like this one had. Pandora knelt in front of the tree, it was still early morning, the sun was low in the sky still and he birds were still singing. She took a few deep breaths and tried to connect herself to the earth, to feel whole again.

"Mom….I miss you mom, I really need you right now." She choked on a sob as she cried harder, digging her fingers into the damp, cold soil. "Oh fuck, Mom I…Dad's going to leave me soon, and, I don't want to be alone…but, every time I try to get close to someone they run away…or die. I'm scared that it's going to keep happening…like maybe I'm cursed so no one can love me…but…but…I don't want love…I want to be happy alone because losing hurts too much…Mom….I…I don't know what to do…." She cried until she fainted.

Pandora woke up in her bed, she heard Aunt Mary talking to her father down the hall, she heard her heels in the hall way. She looked at the door way and saw the older woman with red hair teased and too much lipstick, but she was glamour's and besides her father, Pandora's favorite family member.

"Oh dear, poor little Pan," She crooned, walking over to hug her. Pandora rolled her eyes, but hugged the thin woman back. She hated being called; 'Pan'. Or 'Dora'. 'Why must they shorten it? It's not that hard to say!'

"Aunt Mary? What happened? I was visiting my mother…" Mary pulled back and frowned, she rubbed her cheek with her hand, plastic fingers smelling like glue.

"Pan, a police man brought you home, said you were napping at the tree where Mina rests."

"Yes," she nodded, "I was so upset, I didn't know where else to go to have a break down." Her father had enough stress. Mary patted her hand.

"What happened last night, Pan? Please me and your father are so worried about you." 'Oh great…just want he needs…why did you tell him you old bat!' Pandora sighed and closed her eyes, she tried to see Ville and her in his bed making love but the picture was fuzzy, but not so much she doubted it's reality. She felt it in her gut, it would have been nice to trick herself otherwise. Mary asked her again, Pandora looked at her.

"I met a man." She said. Mary's face softened.

"He didn't…hurt you did he?" She shrugged, suddenly feeling detached from the situation, like a observer.

"No, he just took my virginity."