No One Will Hate You Like I Do

Pandora kissed Ville's forehead and slowly walked to the door, she looked back at him sleeping peacefully. She didn't want to leave him, she didn't even understand really why she wanted to, she just felt like it was the right thing to do.

Pandora left on a plane for the states not a few hours later, she was going back to Grenville. She was going to call Mary when she got back and tell her she was fine, but not where she was. She figured that Mary would chase after her, she hoped that Ville wouldn't. Pandora started to panic as the plane flew off, she knew that she had made a mistake, but she continued to fool herself, telling herself that this was right, even though her heart told her that she belonged with Ville.

When she landed, she went to the storage place where most of the things from the house were kept, along with her bike, Ville had bought her a new one in Finland. Pandora rode the bike to the beach, breathing in the fresh sea air was like going back in time when she was still in high school, everyday after school she came here and dreamed a million different lives for herself. Now that she had a real life experience of many of the things she thought about, dreaming about love didn't seem as appealing. Pandora walked to one of the sand mounds and sat at the top, watching the ocean rise and fall.

What if I'm completely wrong? Oh god…I am wrong.' Pandora started to cry as she realized that she had made a horrible mistake. She held herself, and rocked back and forth as guilt and self-loathing filled her. 'I'm so sorry Ville…I don't hate you, I love you and I don't want you to be hurt…oh fucking hell, what a bitch I am….what have I done? I can't go back now…Ville is going to be so mad at me… oh fuck…I'll just…forget him…start over…with my baby…' Pandora wiped her face and slowly rose to her feet, she made a promise to herself and her baby she wouldn't waste her life regretting, she had to bury it and stop dreaming. She had to grow up.

Pandora didn't waste her time regretting, although she did regret leaving deeply, she kept it inside and gave up her schooling for a job in the city at radio station, she was the late night DJ for the best of rock station. Pandora didn't think she'd get the job because she was young and pregnant (there was no hiding it at this point), but the boss who owned the station was an ex hippy named Pepper (who looked like a wizard) happened to really like Pandora and he actually pitied her situation and allowed her to rent the small guest house in back of his own. It was right on the ocean and Pandora started everyday with a walk on the beach before she did some writing in the afternoon before going to work, which was right down the road.

Pandora took her inner pain and guilt and turned it into creative force, she started writing a story about a little girl traveling from the county to the city to find her famous father after her mother dies. She called it, 'Sex, poetry and regrets', the little girl was connived in grave yard (which was written in great detail as one of the first scenes) to her sixteen year old mother. (how old her mother was when she had Pandora) The girl's father, was a poet who her mother had a teenage crush on, she collected all his work and fallowed his book tour around the state. Finally her mother was able to meet him face to face and when she did she had the most uncontrollable urge to give him her virginity. So the girl was born and the mother never saw the father again. The girl's mother has cancer and dies when she's just turned twelve, with what savings she had, she bravely travels by bus across the state to L.A. to meet her father for the first time. On the way she meets and learns the life stories of the other people on the bus, they are all looking for something or someone and together they relate. Pandora was just about done with the story besides the girl's actual meeting with her father. Pandora planned to try and publish the novel once it was finished.

Pandora arrived at work on time, pushing her way past the clerk desk and upstairs to the recording room. She took off her coat and dropped her bag under the desk, in came Carmon, the greasy intern that was always flirting with her. He handed her the play list and tried to strike up a conversation, Pandora told him she had to get to work.

She fell into her chair, sighing, she pressed the recording button and got started with her normal speech before going on to the music. Once the first song was playing, Pepper poked his head in the room, Pandora greeted him with a smile. She had been working there for almost a month and she loved it. The baby was due in two months.

"Hey there cool cat, how's it going?" Pepper ruffled her hair and sat on the edge of the desk, he peered down at her through his pickle green sunglasses.

"Good, I just started the first song, I had a check up this morning and the baby is fine, it was just pre-labor cramps the other night, how are you?"

"Well, that's great to hear about the baby, I'm just sunshine, cool cat, just sunshine. The ratings are in and we are second to the rap station, cool cat, cool beans, real cool." He patted her on the shoulder.

"That is great news,"

"Even better news, I've got your first interview coming," Pandora smiled, Please not some pop-rock newbie airwaves emo fuckers, please.'

"Sweet, who am I interviewing and when?"

"Heard of the band, HIM, before?"

Pandora suddenly felt light headed and the next thing she knew, she was on the floor and all went black.