Out for Blood: A Billie Joe Story

I sit in the waiting room, dreading what I know I'll have to talk about with Susan. Only God knows what my father told her. My heart rate accelerates as the door opens and Susan walks through the doorway with my father.

"Ellie, it's your turn," she says, looking tense. I take a quick glance at my father, who is watching me closely, and notice that he looks more stressed than Susan. I can already tell that this isn't gonna be good. I stand up and walk with Susan to the backroom and sit down. She does the same and opens the manila folder.

"So, Ellie, I heard that something happened between you and your father," she starts, looking at me. I swallow back my nervousness.

"Yeah," I answer quietly.

"I won't ask you to tell me what that something was, but I would like to know how you felt about the incident."

"It wasn't an incident." Susan looks confused.

"What do you mean?"

"He knew what he was doing, but he didn't stop himself. He knew it was wrong to lunge at me like that, and he knew it was gonna scare me."

"How do you know that for sure?"

"By the look in his eyes."

"What kind of look?"

"He had this look of knowledge, but, at the same time, he wanted to hold back. I don't know if he just didn't have the strength or maybe he didn't care that it'd hurt me."

"Does it bother you that he might not care if he hurts you?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why do you say that?"

"I know he's never gonna stop, but for some reason I feel like he wants to."

"How do you think you could help him stop?"

"I can't. I'm scared to go anywhere near him because he'll drag me to his room and fuck me as hard as he can."

"You really think he'd do that?"

"Yes, he would. At any chance he'd get, he would."

"This actually worries me, Ellie, that you think like this."

"You're telling me you're not worried about my whole situation in general?"

"Well, I am, but I never thought you'd get paranoid like this. You have a right to, though." It's silent for about a minute or two before she sighs. "Has your father told you about the real reason for the divorce?"

"No, I heard him telling Mike." She nods.

"At least now you know."

"I guess."

"Would you rather be oblivious?"

"No, at least now I know why my mother didn't save me and take me with her." The timer starts beeping so Susan presses the "off" button.

"I guess we'll talk tomorrow, Ellie."