You Say Paradox, I Say Paradise

“Oh.” Kate picked at a sequin on her purse and avoided Jude’s gaze. Oh? I just told you how your little Princess Pal Anna socially lynched us, and that’s it? Your friends hate me. My friends hate us. We’re about to go to prom, of all places, and you can only say “oh”? God, Kate. “Would you still like to be with me?”

“For fuck’s sake Kate, I…” Jude stopped as he saw the horrified look on her face. “Shit… Kate, I didn’t mean it, well I did, but please, please Kate, this is hard. Crap. Just… crap. Sorry.” Ugh, I’d gotten good at that. A whole month of avoiding swearing around my girlfriend, my effing Jesus loving, sweet natured, innocent and smiling girlfriend just shot down the drain. I basically just fucked God. I’m the one who’s damn screwed.

“Jude,” Kate sighed a bit and turned the radio off. The silence in the car was stifling for him. “Could you please not swear like that? At least not if we’re… at least if you are around me, then stop, please.” Jude’s head fell to his chest. He’d disappointed her. Kate wasn’t angry, she wasn’t jealous, she wasn’t overjoyed, and she wasn’t annoyed – she was disappointed in him.

Jude glanced out the window and stared at Kate’s front door. They hadn’t even left her street yet and he’d already made a complete idiot of himself. She could just get out of the car and leave, right now.

“That wasn’t fair of me. I’m sorry Katydid.” Jude noticed her frown twitch a miniscule bit upward at his use of Katydid. She’d liked that about him, his knack for nicknaming things. “I know you and Macy are alright, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t even tell my best friend about us. You told you own mother and I can’t even get the guts up to tell one puking barnacle of my friends, so now we’re practically screwed.”

Kate drummed her fingers on her knee, admiring how the soft fabric of her prom dress felt.

“This isn’t even your fault. I’m the dismal-dreaming boar-pig here. Macy’s probably cooled some people’s heads, but Dan, to hell what his opinion of me is, but I couldn’t live with myself if he disliked you for going out with me, making Anna more malicious than usual, making her hate me immediately, making you and her stop getting along as well, making him pick a fight with her for hating me, making her ruin my friendship, making me ruin it by not being honest,” He took a breath.

“…making prom suck because our friends are pissed off, making… oh I’ve lost my train of thought. I just want us to be ok, without all of this godforsaken fuss our friends are making.” Kate shivered a bit, rubbing her bare shoulders.

Does he think I’m upset with his friends and the fight with Anna? Well, I never mentioned to him about how we’re not really that good of friends any longer. But, it isn’t his fault if he never told his friends. I didn’t tell mine either. We’ve both fallen subject to the scary trap of stereotypes. Perhaps his friends aren’t as set in stone, or in plastic, as mine were. Let’s just... oh, he’s still mumbling.

“… and I swear Kate, that girl is going to have to get facial cosmetic nose surgery if she makes another damned comment about me being some demonic being from a cult of Satan worshipers. I’m not going to put up with it anymore. Honestly, to hell with all of them. To your friends, I don’t care if they don’t think I’m preppy, well read, athletic, snobbish, tan, European, famous, or plastic enough for you. As for mine, they better get used to seeing your face when they want to see mine. Because…”

Kate sighed, more contented now. Sometimes this boy just goes on and on… She glanced up at Jude, but he was ranting out the window, across the street. A smile crept across her face as Kate imagined the neighbor’s cat coming out the front door. Jude would then be spilling his lamentations to a feline. Kate nearly giggled.

“Can I ask you a question?” Kate looked at Jude. He abruptly stopped his monologue and scanned Kate’s face for signs of what she was thinking. “Well, questions.”

“Anything you want, Katydid.” Jude took his key out of the ignition and fiddled with the keychain she’d gotten him at the pier last week.

“You still like me, yes?”

“Psh,” Jude fake scoffed and turned to look her in the eyes. His grew big as he took in how beautiful she looked tonight. “Of course. I, Jude Doran, have an extreme amount of caring feelings for you, Katherine Woodrow, my girlfriend.” Kate blushed a bit.

“And I still get butterflies whenever I even think of you Jude, so that’s settled. Neither of us cares of what people think, right?”

“Not particularly, no. I mean you are speaking with the official Prince of Darkness here.” Kate openly giggled, causing Jude to grin happily like the Cheshire Cat. “Wait, so you’re not angry?”

“No, not unless you’ve gone vegetarian on me and we aren’t going to the Blackhawk Restaurant for dinner.”

“And you’re ok with the whole Anna being a royal… well, Anna about this?”

“She’ll manage without me.”

“And you don’t mind that at least half of my friends might hate me right now?”

“No. I think Macy might like me. She called my phone yesterday to find out where we were going for an after-party, so I assume we’re not wholly socially isolated.”

“Well, now what do we do?” Jude looked like a defeated kitten that realized he’d only been fighting with his reflection in the window.

“First off, let’s just stop with the secrecy and hiding behind closed doors, classroom tables, fake meetings and lies. Allow friends to do what they want and we’ll see what happens with us when whatever happens. Keep moving forward and all of that.” Kate smiled. “Now for our evening out, take my hand and drive your car already.”

“Of course, my Juliet.” Jude kissed Kate’s hand and interlaced their fingers. He started the car and backed out of her driveway. “What now, stop by the nearest apothecary’s pad and stock up on venomous poisons before we drive to Vegas and elope, then angry our friends and local authorities by engaging in a duel and false-lover’s suicide?”

“No Jude.” Kate rolled her eyes and giggled at his odd sense of romantic humor. “Not Vegas darling, merely high school prom.”