It Seems I'm Too Far Gone
Even worse.
Soon after the giant ordeal, things settled down and became, well, perfect. At least as close to perfect as they could be. Baily got over it and Adie and Billie Joe were happier than ever. The summer ended, as did the Green Day tour, though with talk of a new one. Adie went back to school as a senior, and was applying to colleges like crazy. This was the reason for newfound stress; not to mention a newfound conflict between her and Billie Joe.
“Billie, NYU is just one option. I can’t even say if I think I’ll get in or not, now would you quit freaking out?” a frustrated Adie said while Billie Joe sat on the end of her bed, strumming absentmindedly. Anymore, he’d taken to leaving his second guitar in Adie’s bedroom. It gave him something to do on the nights when he’d come over while she did her homework; or worse- when she was working on her college applications.
Adrienne was applying to too many universities to count. She, of course, was not only applying to so many because she wanted to keep her options open, but also because of her mother. Mrs. Raleigh was actually encouraging Adie greatly in applying to schools outside of the California area…
“Mm…. whatever,” Billie Joe half grunted, keeping his eyes glued to the blankets and his fingers glued to his guitar pick. Adrienne looked up at him, frowning, but understanding. She knew this was hard for him, and that he hated being around when she was doing “college stuff,” but she couldn’t help thinking him a bit hypocritical. After all, he’d left her alone for months to go touring, and she knew there would be more to come. Her moving somewhere wouldn’t affect their relationship that much at all. It would just mean he would stay in a different state when he got back from the tour.
Still, she could tell how much he was hurting, and she knew that even though he didn’t want to be around when she was filling out these papers, he still came over every night, just to see her.
Adie set down her papers and scooted over to be next to him, and lifted his head up to look at her.
“Hey. You know we’ll still see each other. This is just a new step for me,” she said, and kissed him, softly.
“Yah,” he said when they’d parted, “I know, I just don’t like to think of you in a new place twenty-four seven around a bunch of new people.”
“What?” she asked. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you 80. I just…. I don’t know, everything will be different.”
“Why,” she asked. “Why will it be different?”
She pulled his guitar out of his grasp and laid it on the floor gently. She then kissed him again, though a little more harshly this time, and before they knew it, he was on his back, and Adie wasn’t too far from being on top of him. They’d never done anything more than some serious kissing, which was, albeit difficult for Billie Joe, but mainly what they’d wanted. Adie never wanted to rush into anything, and had always asked him to maintain some self control. He understood, or at least wanted her to be happy, and so he complied. But there were times when it did get difficult to hold back- for both of them.
Even so, once they’d both worked up enough strength to pull off of each other, Adie had given up on getting any more work done and tossed her papers to the floor and turned off the lamp. The two teenagers now laid next to each other in the dark, worn out and a bit out of breath.
“Nothing has to change, Billie. If anything, things will end up better. I mean, I can move out of my parents place and- heaven forbid, you can leave the bedroom when you stay the night,” she smirked and he let out a small laugh. For the moment he was comforted, and he started to believe that this would be a change for the better.
***
Adrienne lay in her room, but this time alone. It seemed like months since the last time Billie Joe was laying next to her. That all seemed unreal right now. It all seemed too distant and fake. So nonexistent now anyway- after her head was pounding from all of the crying, and her eyes were dry and swollen.
It all seemed like a dream. A nightmare.
The only think Adie could recall was how it started, and why it was so terrible to listen to. She didn’t remember getting to her room, and she didn’t even remember the crying. It was just after she’d come home from Billie’s…. Oh god, Billie. The name just made it worse.
”Adie, I’m so happy you’ve decided on Minnesota. It really is a nice state. I had an aunt that lived there once, you remember, Aunt Loddy?” Adrienne’s mother said to her, unusually happy on a day when Adie had been with Billie Joe just minutes prior.
“Yah, Mom. I remember you mentioning something about her,” Adie shrugged. She’d just told her parents that she’d decided to go to college in Minnesota, and they seemed to be ecstatic. Almost too happy… And it was also making her think of how much they’d pushed her to apply and look into the school there.
“Well,” Adie’s father started, “There is a reason we’re so delighted. We wanted to wait to tell you until after you’d decided on a college, so as to not sway your choice any,” he said, smiling an unnatural amount.
Adie’s stomach sank. Sure, this sounded like some great surprise, but her parents generally had a completely different definition of “good news.” Chances were, this was not nearly as exciting as they were making it sound. And the fact that it had something to do with her future college plans made her a little nervous.
“Um… ok. Shoot,” she said, forcing herself to take a seat.
“Well, I got transferred to a new firm again, by recommendation,” he started, but Adie didn’t need to hear anymore. She knew immediately what was going on.
“You’re moving to Minnesota with me aren’t you?!” she said, jumping up from her seat, irate. “AND YOU KNEW ALL ALONG, DIDN’T YOU?!” she looked from her father to her mother and back again. “This is why you pressured me so much, and why you brought me so much information! You just can’t bear to let me out of your site!” she was crying now, and she hadn’t had enough time to think of why.
“Oh, c’mon Adie!” her mother’s voice broke, threatening to escalate as Adie’s had done. “This is all about Billie Joe and you know it! He’s all you think about!” she said, shaking her head.
“ Yah, Mom, it is. He’s the only reason you guys are so worried about being around me! Can’t you just leave me alone?! THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM!” she was hysterical by the time she reached her last syllable.
“Oh Adrienne, there are plenty of reasons we want to move to Minnesota. It’s hardly about you and Billie Joe. Besides, give it a month away from this place, and you’ll understand perfectly where I’ve been coming from all along.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Mom. And the same goes for you. Just make sure and tell yourself that when I move out.”
Sure, Adie had never talked to Billie about moving in together, but she could still move out on her own if need be. It just always seemed obvious and better for her if it was with Billie Joe. This was the first time her mother had heard anything of the idea, however.
“Oh, you go ahead and try it, Adrienne. When we move to Minnesota, you make sure you find a way to find an apartment and pay the rent- ALL ON YOUR OWN. Or- better yet- see if Billie Joe’s steady salary can pay for it,” she said, and scoffed at the last part. It made Adie sick to see her own mother behaving so heartless. But, she couldn’t think of a way to respond, so she’d simply run upstairs.
Everything had turned for the worse, and this was where she ended up. But now, Billie Joe would show up in a matter of minutes and things would somehow get even worse. Because she had to tell him how her parents wouldn’t pay for her dorm because she was going to have to live with the longer. And that she couldn’t see a better option than to stick it out.
“Billie, NYU is just one option. I can’t even say if I think I’ll get in or not, now would you quit freaking out?” a frustrated Adie said while Billie Joe sat on the end of her bed, strumming absentmindedly. Anymore, he’d taken to leaving his second guitar in Adie’s bedroom. It gave him something to do on the nights when he’d come over while she did her homework; or worse- when she was working on her college applications.
Adrienne was applying to too many universities to count. She, of course, was not only applying to so many because she wanted to keep her options open, but also because of her mother. Mrs. Raleigh was actually encouraging Adie greatly in applying to schools outside of the California area…
“Mm…. whatever,” Billie Joe half grunted, keeping his eyes glued to the blankets and his fingers glued to his guitar pick. Adrienne looked up at him, frowning, but understanding. She knew this was hard for him, and that he hated being around when she was doing “college stuff,” but she couldn’t help thinking him a bit hypocritical. After all, he’d left her alone for months to go touring, and she knew there would be more to come. Her moving somewhere wouldn’t affect their relationship that much at all. It would just mean he would stay in a different state when he got back from the tour.
Still, she could tell how much he was hurting, and she knew that even though he didn’t want to be around when she was filling out these papers, he still came over every night, just to see her.
Adie set down her papers and scooted over to be next to him, and lifted his head up to look at her.
“Hey. You know we’ll still see each other. This is just a new step for me,” she said, and kissed him, softly.
“Yah,” he said when they’d parted, “I know, I just don’t like to think of you in a new place twenty-four seven around a bunch of new people.”
“What?” she asked. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you 80. I just…. I don’t know, everything will be different.”
“Why,” she asked. “Why will it be different?”
She pulled his guitar out of his grasp and laid it on the floor gently. She then kissed him again, though a little more harshly this time, and before they knew it, he was on his back, and Adie wasn’t too far from being on top of him. They’d never done anything more than some serious kissing, which was, albeit difficult for Billie Joe, but mainly what they’d wanted. Adie never wanted to rush into anything, and had always asked him to maintain some self control. He understood, or at least wanted her to be happy, and so he complied. But there were times when it did get difficult to hold back- for both of them.
Even so, once they’d both worked up enough strength to pull off of each other, Adie had given up on getting any more work done and tossed her papers to the floor and turned off the lamp. The two teenagers now laid next to each other in the dark, worn out and a bit out of breath.
“Nothing has to change, Billie. If anything, things will end up better. I mean, I can move out of my parents place and- heaven forbid, you can leave the bedroom when you stay the night,” she smirked and he let out a small laugh. For the moment he was comforted, and he started to believe that this would be a change for the better.
***
Adrienne lay in her room, but this time alone. It seemed like months since the last time Billie Joe was laying next to her. That all seemed unreal right now. It all seemed too distant and fake. So nonexistent now anyway- after her head was pounding from all of the crying, and her eyes were dry and swollen.
It all seemed like a dream. A nightmare.
The only think Adie could recall was how it started, and why it was so terrible to listen to. She didn’t remember getting to her room, and she didn’t even remember the crying. It was just after she’d come home from Billie’s…. Oh god, Billie. The name just made it worse.
”Adie, I’m so happy you’ve decided on Minnesota. It really is a nice state. I had an aunt that lived there once, you remember, Aunt Loddy?” Adrienne’s mother said to her, unusually happy on a day when Adie had been with Billie Joe just minutes prior.
“Yah, Mom. I remember you mentioning something about her,” Adie shrugged. She’d just told her parents that she’d decided to go to college in Minnesota, and they seemed to be ecstatic. Almost too happy… And it was also making her think of how much they’d pushed her to apply and look into the school there.
“Well,” Adie’s father started, “There is a reason we’re so delighted. We wanted to wait to tell you until after you’d decided on a college, so as to not sway your choice any,” he said, smiling an unnatural amount.
Adie’s stomach sank. Sure, this sounded like some great surprise, but her parents generally had a completely different definition of “good news.” Chances were, this was not nearly as exciting as they were making it sound. And the fact that it had something to do with her future college plans made her a little nervous.
“Um… ok. Shoot,” she said, forcing herself to take a seat.
“Well, I got transferred to a new firm again, by recommendation,” he started, but Adie didn’t need to hear anymore. She knew immediately what was going on.
“You’re moving to Minnesota with me aren’t you?!” she said, jumping up from her seat, irate. “AND YOU KNEW ALL ALONG, DIDN’T YOU?!” she looked from her father to her mother and back again. “This is why you pressured me so much, and why you brought me so much information! You just can’t bear to let me out of your site!” she was crying now, and she hadn’t had enough time to think of why.
“Oh, c’mon Adie!” her mother’s voice broke, threatening to escalate as Adie’s had done. “This is all about Billie Joe and you know it! He’s all you think about!” she said, shaking her head.
“ Yah, Mom, it is. He’s the only reason you guys are so worried about being around me! Can’t you just leave me alone?! THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM!” she was hysterical by the time she reached her last syllable.
“Oh Adrienne, there are plenty of reasons we want to move to Minnesota. It’s hardly about you and Billie Joe. Besides, give it a month away from this place, and you’ll understand perfectly where I’ve been coming from all along.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Mom. And the same goes for you. Just make sure and tell yourself that when I move out.”
Sure, Adie had never talked to Billie about moving in together, but she could still move out on her own if need be. It just always seemed obvious and better for her if it was with Billie Joe. This was the first time her mother had heard anything of the idea, however.
“Oh, you go ahead and try it, Adrienne. When we move to Minnesota, you make sure you find a way to find an apartment and pay the rent- ALL ON YOUR OWN. Or- better yet- see if Billie Joe’s steady salary can pay for it,” she said, and scoffed at the last part. It made Adie sick to see her own mother behaving so heartless. But, she couldn’t think of a way to respond, so she’d simply run upstairs.
Everything had turned for the worse, and this was where she ended up. But now, Billie Joe would show up in a matter of minutes and things would somehow get even worse. Because she had to tell him how her parents wouldn’t pay for her dorm because she was going to have to live with the longer. And that she couldn’t see a better option than to stick it out.