It Seems I'm Too Far Gone
A fling?
Even though an hour before, jealousy wasn't even existent inside of Adie, now, after hearing that song- that glorious, heart stopping song- that green-eyed monster shifted and woke up inside of her chest.
She found herself not backstage at all, waiting for Billie Joe; reason being, that Baily beat her to it. Logic told Adrienne to hang back and not make it obvious that Billie had just poured out his soul to her and not Baily. And so, there she was, watching the other girl link her arms around his neck and jump into a loving kiss. It was unheard of.
Adie decided to go outside. Apart from the fact that she didn't want to watch another minute of the spectacle, she felt her face getting hot and she needed some cool air.
Once outside, where there were no witnesses, Adrienne's mouth subconsciously formed the biggest smile she could ever remember. Even in the cool night air, her cheeks became hotter than what they were before. She felt 13 again.
All at once, she wanted to scream and ask someone all the questions she had pouring out of her head: Did he mean it? When did he write it? It's about her, isn't it? Not.... not Baily, right?? She had to take a deep breath to calm herself. When her cheeks started to hurt from all the grinning, she decided to sit down to think clearly.
She had just put her arms on her knees and her head on her arms when she heard him.
"80?"
Her head shot up.
"Billie Joe!" and without thinking, she popped up from the ground and pulled him into an unexpected kiss. And she kissed him hard.
"Wow," was all he could say, unfortunately.
"That song. It was about me, wasn't it?" she asked, and gave him no time to answer. "I mean, I understand if it was about your girlfriend, I mean, she IS your girlfriend, after all, and- well, still, it was a great song, by the way. It was catchy and beautiful, I mean, the lyrics were beautiful, no matter who they are about," she rambled, not realizing that the words only made sense in her head, and not out loud like this.
"80, calm down. It was about you," he said, grabbing her hands out in front of her.
"Oh, Billie Joe," she said, and leaped forward to kiss him one more time. Her hands flung around his neck, and his took a minute to realize what had happened.
Pulling off of him, and catching her breath, she looked at the sky.
"Oh, fuck, it's so late. And... school... ugh..." she put her hands over her face.
"C'mon, over-achiever, let's get you home," he said, grabbing her wrists and pulling her hands off her tired face. She grinned as he kissed one of her hands softly. She shivered.
"Don't forget, you have my jacket tied around your waist," he said, mistaking her shivering as being cold.
"Oh... yah," she said, blushing again. "I'll have to give this back to you when we get there. I don't trust leaving it in my room. I wouldn't put it past my mom to snoop around my room and find it."
He grimaced.
"Yikes," he said.
Adie shrugged.
"Yah, well, it gives me a reason to see you again," she smiled.
"What," he asked, "You only like me for my jacket?" She laughed.
"No... It's more for your good fashion sense," she replied, coyly, putting on the jacket.
Billie Joe grabbed her hand and they started walking to her house, just as they had the night before. Billie felt like he was on top of the world. The whole night had gone off without a hitch. He'd been worried about how Adie would feel when she found out he'd written such a song about her. But it was a risk he was willing to take. And she loved it. More than he even imagined. And Baily hadn't suspected a thing. Baily...
And as if Adie read his mind, she broke the silence.
"What's Baily going to think?" she asked him, and when he gave her a bit of a confused look, she added, "About you disappearing?"
"Oh," he answered, "That. She'll be fine. I've run off after shows before." he added, like it was nothing. But even he knew that there was more on Adrienne's mind.
"She thinks it was about her, doesn't she?" she asked, not looking at him, but at the ground before her.
"Yah," he answered, simply, maintaining their lack of eye contact.
"I... don't want to come between you two, you know that, right?"
He didn't answer right away, but looked at her. She was still looking at the sidewalk, but she looked so sad. Like a kid when they leave a theme park at the end of the day.
"What do you mean?" he asked her.
"Well, I don't want you to break up with Baily for me... unless you want to," she said, and looked up at him, hopefully. Perhaps, with too much hope, as he turned away and she was left staring at him as he looked at the sidewalk.
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that," she said, hurriedly.
"No, Adie, I'm sorry. I mean... I don't know. I know you never meant to hurt our relationship, and truthfully- I don't really think you did. I mean, she doesn't suspect anything. I just... I don't think I'm ready to leave her."
"It's ok," Adie said quietly.
"No, 80, it's not. But I'm sorry. I- Ok. Let me start over. I like you, so much," he said, looking over at her. She refused to push the fiery chunk of hair back behind her ear that had fallen down to cover her face. "I just..." and he couldn't think of a right way to say this.
"You just don't want to risk it?" she finished.
"Yes and no," he added slowly. "I would love to end my relationship with Baily to chase this horribly good infatuation I have with you, and really try to start something, and don't get me wrong, that sounds more amazing than you can imagine, but-"
"Billie, I get it. You still have really strong feelings for Baily, too strong to just throw away, and you don't want to go ahead and risk all of that on a girl you've known for a little over 24 hours. I understand, and it's ok. Honest," Adie said, and looked over at him, showing her face, finally.
"I... well... yes. It's just what if this is... is just a... a-"
"A fling?" she finished, yet again. She was smiling as she said it.
"For lack of a better term, yeah. I mean, I've never fallen this hard and fast for a girl, and I'm afraid to just... latch on and put my relationship of a year and a half in the trash," he finished, looking at her, and she was still smiling.
"Billie, truth be told, that same thought crossed my mind. Sure, I don't have a boyfriend, but I've had them before, and it didn't make sense that I was so head over heels for you. I know what you mean. And..." she hesitated. "There's no way I could date you anyway," she said, uneasily.
Despite the long, in depth conversation they just had, Billie Joe looked at her, confused, and somewhat hurt. She rolled her eyes.
"My parents?"
"Ooh. That," he said, his face going back to normal, as he was secretly relieved.
"Yah... so, I don't know- maybe in a way, it's better if we keep what we have a secret," she stopped quickly and looked at him. "I mean, if we still have, or want to have, anything."
Billie Joe thought this over for a minute.
"Well... what do we have?" he asked her, genuinely curious. She thought for a moment, then smiled.
"A fling?"
Billie Joe grinned.
"Sounds good."
She found herself not backstage at all, waiting for Billie Joe; reason being, that Baily beat her to it. Logic told Adrienne to hang back and not make it obvious that Billie had just poured out his soul to her and not Baily. And so, there she was, watching the other girl link her arms around his neck and jump into a loving kiss. It was unheard of.
Adie decided to go outside. Apart from the fact that she didn't want to watch another minute of the spectacle, she felt her face getting hot and she needed some cool air.
Once outside, where there were no witnesses, Adrienne's mouth subconsciously formed the biggest smile she could ever remember. Even in the cool night air, her cheeks became hotter than what they were before. She felt 13 again.
All at once, she wanted to scream and ask someone all the questions she had pouring out of her head: Did he mean it? When did he write it? It's about her, isn't it? Not.... not Baily, right?? She had to take a deep breath to calm herself. When her cheeks started to hurt from all the grinning, she decided to sit down to think clearly.
She had just put her arms on her knees and her head on her arms when she heard him.
"80?"
Her head shot up.
"Billie Joe!" and without thinking, she popped up from the ground and pulled him into an unexpected kiss. And she kissed him hard.
"Wow," was all he could say, unfortunately.
"That song. It was about me, wasn't it?" she asked, and gave him no time to answer. "I mean, I understand if it was about your girlfriend, I mean, she IS your girlfriend, after all, and- well, still, it was a great song, by the way. It was catchy and beautiful, I mean, the lyrics were beautiful, no matter who they are about," she rambled, not realizing that the words only made sense in her head, and not out loud like this.
"80, calm down. It was about you," he said, grabbing her hands out in front of her.
"Oh, Billie Joe," she said, and leaped forward to kiss him one more time. Her hands flung around his neck, and his took a minute to realize what had happened.
Pulling off of him, and catching her breath, she looked at the sky.
"Oh, fuck, it's so late. And... school... ugh..." she put her hands over her face.
"C'mon, over-achiever, let's get you home," he said, grabbing her wrists and pulling her hands off her tired face. She grinned as he kissed one of her hands softly. She shivered.
"Don't forget, you have my jacket tied around your waist," he said, mistaking her shivering as being cold.
"Oh... yah," she said, blushing again. "I'll have to give this back to you when we get there. I don't trust leaving it in my room. I wouldn't put it past my mom to snoop around my room and find it."
He grimaced.
"Yikes," he said.
Adie shrugged.
"Yah, well, it gives me a reason to see you again," she smiled.
"What," he asked, "You only like me for my jacket?" She laughed.
"No... It's more for your good fashion sense," she replied, coyly, putting on the jacket.
Billie Joe grabbed her hand and they started walking to her house, just as they had the night before. Billie felt like he was on top of the world. The whole night had gone off without a hitch. He'd been worried about how Adie would feel when she found out he'd written such a song about her. But it was a risk he was willing to take. And she loved it. More than he even imagined. And Baily hadn't suspected a thing. Baily...
And as if Adie read his mind, she broke the silence.
"What's Baily going to think?" she asked him, and when he gave her a bit of a confused look, she added, "About you disappearing?"
"Oh," he answered, "That. She'll be fine. I've run off after shows before." he added, like it was nothing. But even he knew that there was more on Adrienne's mind.
"She thinks it was about her, doesn't she?" she asked, not looking at him, but at the ground before her.
"Yah," he answered, simply, maintaining their lack of eye contact.
"I... don't want to come between you two, you know that, right?"
He didn't answer right away, but looked at her. She was still looking at the sidewalk, but she looked so sad. Like a kid when they leave a theme park at the end of the day.
"What do you mean?" he asked her.
"Well, I don't want you to break up with Baily for me... unless you want to," she said, and looked up at him, hopefully. Perhaps, with too much hope, as he turned away and she was left staring at him as he looked at the sidewalk.
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that," she said, hurriedly.
"No, Adie, I'm sorry. I mean... I don't know. I know you never meant to hurt our relationship, and truthfully- I don't really think you did. I mean, she doesn't suspect anything. I just... I don't think I'm ready to leave her."
"It's ok," Adie said quietly.
"No, 80, it's not. But I'm sorry. I- Ok. Let me start over. I like you, so much," he said, looking over at her. She refused to push the fiery chunk of hair back behind her ear that had fallen down to cover her face. "I just..." and he couldn't think of a right way to say this.
"You just don't want to risk it?" she finished.
"Yes and no," he added slowly. "I would love to end my relationship with Baily to chase this horribly good infatuation I have with you, and really try to start something, and don't get me wrong, that sounds more amazing than you can imagine, but-"
"Billie, I get it. You still have really strong feelings for Baily, too strong to just throw away, and you don't want to go ahead and risk all of that on a girl you've known for a little over 24 hours. I understand, and it's ok. Honest," Adie said, and looked over at him, showing her face, finally.
"I... well... yes. It's just what if this is... is just a... a-"
"A fling?" she finished, yet again. She was smiling as she said it.
"For lack of a better term, yeah. I mean, I've never fallen this hard and fast for a girl, and I'm afraid to just... latch on and put my relationship of a year and a half in the trash," he finished, looking at her, and she was still smiling.
"Billie, truth be told, that same thought crossed my mind. Sure, I don't have a boyfriend, but I've had them before, and it didn't make sense that I was so head over heels for you. I know what you mean. And..." she hesitated. "There's no way I could date you anyway," she said, uneasily.
Despite the long, in depth conversation they just had, Billie Joe looked at her, confused, and somewhat hurt. She rolled her eyes.
"My parents?"
"Ooh. That," he said, his face going back to normal, as he was secretly relieved.
"Yah... so, I don't know- maybe in a way, it's better if we keep what we have a secret," she stopped quickly and looked at him. "I mean, if we still have, or want to have, anything."
Billie Joe thought this over for a minute.
"Well... what do we have?" he asked her, genuinely curious. She thought for a moment, then smiled.
"A fling?"
Billie Joe grinned.
"Sounds good."