Bananas.

Seriously. There is not a single thing in this god forsaken house, aside from that

A fucking banana. Ergh.

I ate one when I was a kid, y'know. First and last time ever. Now, they may have had something to do with my father working in a sex shop and... well, bananas do look like... ahem.

But anyway.

So, I rock up at Bam's place and I fall asleep on the couch – because I'm Ville fucking Valo and that's what I do – and then I wake up and nobody's home but his dog and his cats and there is nothing but bananas.

And I'm hungry. And Ville is not a happy boy when he's hungry.

See, he even starts talking in third person!

Argh.

I'd call him, but he's like... gah. He never answers his phone, it's awful.

I'd go down to the shops, but all I have is euros. And no car, because, y'know... I'm Ville Valo, I can't drive.

Goddamn.

I might eat a cigarette in a minute if someone doesn't get home and get me something to eat aside from a fucking bowl of fucking penis-looking bananas.