What It Took

Zack sat down beside me on the bed in the pool house. The most awkward silence had taken over the air and there was nothing about this moment that made me excited. I want to sort things out with him but then I didn't. I left him for a reason that night, I wasn't ready and I still don't think I'd be ready to get back with him.

I reached to place my hand on Zack's but he timidly moved it away.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

He nodded and continued to look forward.

"You know, I can't and never will be able to forgive you for what you did....Or look at you the same way."

If there was one person on this earth that could make me feel useless and ashamed, it was Zachary Baker.

"Zack, all I can say is I'm sorry..."

"But do you really mean it. If you could go back to that night would you have said yes to my proposal?" He's green eyes haunted me as he starred at me.

I grew even more quiet and awkward.

"Exactly. That's what I thought, you wouldn't have changed a damn thing except for the fact that you turned into an alcoholic."

"Thanks for those kind words."

"I'm....I didn't mean that." He stuttered.

"No, you did. Don't take back something you meant, Zack."

He stood up and grabbed his clothes.

"You know what? I'm not ready for this. I can't even look at you or think about you without falling madly in love with you again and hating myself for it. " He said as he throw his left arm up in the arm.

"You never let me talk, damnit." I half-shouted bitterly.

Shocked by the raise in my voice, he dropped his clothes and scanned my eyes with his.

"You're making this all about you. And it's not." I continued.

"It's not? Really Mel? You fucking left me when I needed you the fucking most. How in the fiery depths of hell is it not all about me?" His emotion that was playing in his eyes was intense. "Fuck you, Mel. FUCK YOU! I don't want you to ever fucking speak to me again. Right when I thought you were gone and I could get my life back on track, you fucking waltz right in again. I'm done. I quit."

He walked right out and didn't even bother to pick his clothes back up. Could this get anymore dramatic?

************

The next morning, I woke up still in the pool house. As I walked in the main house, I heard Ashley and Lola chatting away in the kitchen. I decided to try to get past them as swiftly as possible without them taking notice to my presence.

"Whoa, baby girl. What's the rush?" Lola said as she grabbed my shaking arm.

I wasn't shaking in fear or nervousness. I was shaking from trying to contain myself from whipping Ashley's fugly ass.

And there she stood, grinning at me like we were two long lost friends bumping into each other at Wal-mart.

"Yeah, come sit and drink coffee with us, Mel. I really want to get to know you better!" Ashley said with a sickening smile that would kill the healthiest horse.

Without deciding, I was pushed into a chair by Lola with a cup of coffee shoved in my hand by Ashley.

"So I've heard loads about you!" Ashley continued.

"Like?" I replied brutally.

"Well, Zack always talks about how sweet you are and beautiful. And Matt just adores you."

"And, it doesn't bother you that Zack still talks so highly of me?"

"He's over you now...So no, not really" Her smile continued to make me want to vomit. It had such a disgusting innocence to it.

"Well, Lola I'm going to go home before I get sick. Tell Matt I said thanks for the hospitality."

I walked upstairs and grabbed my bag as fast as I could and called a cab to take me home.

As I sat in the cab, I created a rant list in my mind. It went a little something like this:
Fuck Ashley for being ugly and having my husband.
Fuck Lola for forgetting me.
Fuck my brother for inviting me over.
Fuck Zack for moving on.
Fuck me for letting him.

Most of all, Fuck, I just addressed Zack as my husband.