Broken Glass, Broken Hearts, Broken Staal

“Hurry up the game is starting!” I shouted, sprawled across the couch. I heard Eric hobbling out of mine, now his, bedroom. He shot me a small smile before sitting on the opposite end of the couch. We made small talk but right when the game started we both stopped talking.

The game was halfway over and the Cane’s were up by four. Eric was devastated that he couldn’t play. He tried not to show it but I could easily tell. The rigid set of his jaw gave him away.

“Eric don’t sweat it. Things happen for a reason.”

“I want to be out there you don’t even understand.” He clenched his jaw and abruptly stood up walking off towards the kitchen.

“No what I don’t understand is why this is bugging you so much. You’ll still get the ring even if they win and your name on the cup. And you already won the cup once before. It’s not like its anything new to you, so I don’t get why you’re pissed off this much.” I practically shouted, letting out all my frustration from the past few weeks. Every time the Canes moved on in the playoffs I thought Eric would get happier but he didn’t. He just became more depressed.

“No you don’t understand! It’s just another thing I can’t have! I can’t be on the ice helping them win. I can’t even go to the games! Just like I can’t have you!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. I’m pretty sure everyone in the apartment complex heard it.

“And you stand there doing nothing! I’ve done so much! I can’t take it anymore! I love you and I have shown you to the best of my ability how much I do care and love you but nothing is ever good enough for you!” he stormed out of the kitchen and back into mine, I mean his, bedroom.

The rest of the evening was worse. Eric didn’t come out of the room at all. In all the time I though about what happened to us I never once thought about what he was feeling. It was always about myself. I never once took into consideration how much strain this was putting on him.

The next few days came and went. We hardly spoke any words to each other except when we wanted food or needed to grab something next to each other. It felt like we were just both pushed to the edge.

Eric sulked almost every day. I couldn’t tell though if it was because of me or because he couldn’t play hockey. For all I knew it could have been both. But deep inside I knew it was probably me.

The Canes later did go into the finals of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Eric was beyond bummed he still couldn’t play. I felt bad for him. He always loved the playoffs. I remember when he won it was like the happiest day for him.

I fumbled for my car keys as I walked around my apartment looking for my jacket. I finally found it and slipped it on. I could hear Eric moving around in the other room. His footsteps came closer as I nearly slipped out the door unnoticed.

“Now where are you off sneaking to?” he leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Darn you caught me. Well I was just going out to grab some pizza. Want to come with?” I fiddled with the car keys. He shook his head yes and I almost shouted with delight. We weren’t going to go get pizza, but he didn’t need to know that.

We walked to the car in silence. But after tonight hopefully things would go back to the way they were. I hated the silences that filled my apartment.

“Where are we even going to get this pizza, Florida?” he laughed as I drove the car onto the highway.

“Darn you caught me. I was so taking you to Florida so we could have pizza.” I laughed turning the car now onto the street the arena was on.

“Why are we here?” he asked as we pulled into the players parking lot of the arena.

“I don’t know! Damn car. I have to teach it to stop driving on its own! But since we are here why don’t we go inside?” I opened the door and stepped out. Walking towards the arena I noticed Eric was still in the car so I stopped and waited for him. He took forever just to get out of the car. He finally caught up to me then we entered the building. Everyone on the Canes was standing their shouting out to him.

“Eric come on time to suit up!” Cam yelled as he ran by Eric into the locker room. His face turned towards me and he smiled.

“Wait I can play?” I nodded my head and he grinned from ear to ear.

“It’s nice to have what you think you can’t have, isn’t it? Well, if you really truly want it.” I laughed giving him a hug as he walked into the locker room. It took him a minute to finally comprehend what I said. He came sprinting out of the locker room and grabbed me into a bear hug.

“I love you. And no matter what I always have and always will.” He whispered into my ear. And for the first time in months it was my turn to grin.