How to Make a Human

"I don't even know what to think!" Ben sighed enthusiastically while he lightly tugged Mae's hair. "What if you're popular? What if you're the mean kid? What if you're the class hottie?"

"No, Ben. It's nothing like that. I am Bobbie, that's it," I clarified sourly. Ben, Mae Beth, and I were walking to school and Ben, who already knew that Mae was "the talented girl," was trying to figure out what exactly I was "labeled."

He's just precious like that.

I blame it from being at a big school. Let's be honest, the smaller the school, the less pronounced labels are. People just have more opportunities to get to know each other when they're not swimming in a sea full of people. Ben thinks my logic is crazy, but he's a moron. My logic is flawless.

Mae drifted off from Ben and I, taking with her the gloomy, egotistical attitude that is Mae Beth, the tortured artist.

"Where are you going?" Ben shouted as Mae trudged across a grassy field.

"This is my school," she deadpanned, gesturing to the large, brick building.

"Oh! Alright! See you later, Mae!"

Mae rolled her eyes but waved to us anyway, dragging her feet through the grass.

"Mae is weird," Ben stated bluntly, kicking a rock.

"She's just smart. Smart kids are all cynical because they know more than their fellow students. It's stressing," I replied shrugging, assuming my guess sounded enough like a sufficient answer.

"That's true. I suppose you never had that problem then?"

"Oh, ha ha," I responded bitterly. No. I've never had the luxury/burden of being too smart for my age. I've had the luxury of being painfully average, but as my Opa says, "That's what German men look for in a wife!"

Of course, my Opa is sexist. Yay. I'm not that average. In fact, I'm about 80% more socially handicapped then anyone I've ever met. Now that's original!

"Only joking, Bobbie, you're hardly average. You're--"

Only I never found out what I was, because Ben was interrupted by a loud car horn and an old, silver Toyota romping the curb and parking itself in front of us on the sidewalk.

We heard a muffled, "OH MY GOD! GET THE--" the car door open and the words became more clear, "--FUCK OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT! I'M DRIVING NOW!

Shane popped his head out of the window of the car, a massive grin stretching from ear to ear, before greeting me friendlily, "Morning, Olive, need a ride to school? Your man candy can come too, but Booger is driving and she's terrible."

"I'm terrible?" Bear spat, furiously, her short brown hair flying in the wind, "Says the man who just crossed the wrong lane so that he could jump the curb and almost run over his friend!"

Shane responded with another grin.

"GET OUT OF THE DRIVER'S SEAT!" she bellowed again before turning to Ben and I, "Hey Bobbie, we can give you a ride to school if you'd like."

Her mood was all sunshine and smiles now. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, this is my cousin, Ben," I answered.

"Oh, so you're going to our school this year?" she asked pleasantly before turning to Shane (who was worming his torso out of the window) and screeching, "USE THE DOOR, NOT THE WINDOW, YOU FREAKING MORON!"

"Jesus Booger, I'm trying," Shane responded, pushing himself out of the window.

Bear turned back to Ben, "Sorry about that, what were you saying?"

Ben laughed, "Yeah, I'm going to school with you guys this year."

"That's great!" she replied brightly.

"Beeeaaar!" Shane whined, finally out of the car and ready to go. "Stop flirting and let's gooooo!"

Bear whirled around to glare at Shane, but took her place in the driver's seat anyway. Shane began to hop into the passenger's seat before Bear intercepted him.

"NO." She locked the car door and jerked her thumb to the back seat. "Next time don't drive like a maniac and you'll be allowed to sit in the front seat."

Shane nodded his head sadly, but mumbled under his breath, "Worth it."

Bear unrolled the windows, "Are you guys coming?"

"Yeah," I responded and began walking to the car before Ben grabbed my arm and pulled me back to face him.

"Quick, Snobby, I need info on your friend," he rushed.

"Well, Shane's weird but--"

"No, Bear, tell me about Bear."

"Well, she's cool. She's Shane's sister and they fight a lo--"

"No. Is she single, is she straight, can I flirt?"

"What?"

"Can I flirt? Are you okay with it, is her brother defensive, is she too feminist for random flirting? Those kinds of things! Come on, Bobbie, work with me here!"

"Well, I guess so, but why would you flirt with her if you barely even know her?"

"Good girl," Ben responded, ignoring me and absentmindedly patting my head before jogging to the car, "I call shotgun!"

I crawled in the back seat next to Shane and huffed as Ben took his spot next to Bear. As soon as the car was set in motion Bear and Ben immediately started talking. And not like how Ben talks to me. There was an excessive amount of giggles and charming smiles. No sir, this wasn't talking, this was flirting.

Shane sunk into his seat and crossed his arms moodily, glaring heatedly at the back of Bear's seat. The car stopped and Shane pushed himself out of the car, kicking the back of Bear's seat in the process, while I clambered out awkwardly after him.

Shane's open backpack spilled out his belongings on the parking lot and he grunted angrily as he scooped them all into his backpack and crushed papers so everything would fit. I watched in awe, having never seen Shane anything but gleeful before..

Shane roughly zipped up his backpack and turned to Bear, who had just given Ben her number and was giving him a "cutesy" wave as he jogged off to the office.

"Bear! What the hell?" Shane growled, crossing his arms and glaring at Bear who shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Aren't you going to give yourself some time?"

"For what?" She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"I don't know! To 'mend your broken heart' or whatever it is you're into!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you just break up with Luke… like yesterday? Isn't that why you were in my room crying last night, or am I trippin'?"

"Whatever. Shane, I was just flirting, calm the eff down."

"Oh, that must be so easy to say seeing as you don't have to listen to yourself cry about your cheating ex for hours on end."

"Okay, fine. Forgive me for thinking I could come to you with a problem," she spat sarcastically.

"It's not about that, and you know it," Shane said sternly. My eyes widened as did Bear's. Shane had a dead-serious look painted on his face and Bear almost looked ashamed for a minute. The feeling of guilt bubbled up inside of my stomach. I should leave, I should give them their space, I shouldn't be watching this moment… I should grab some popcorn and make myself comfortable.

“I should go.” I mumbled, but I didn’t move.

"Just get your head straight before you decide to go for the first guy you see, especially if that guy is Bobbie's brother. Think about how uncomfortable she must feel."

"Uh, he's my cousin," I spoke up.

"Shit! Bobbie!" Shane jumped, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I've been here the whole time," I answered uncertainly. A statement to my plainness, the emo, depressed part of my mind reminded me.

"Oh." There was a silent moment where Shane fiddled with his backpack straps and Bear tried to look nonchalant.

"Well… Booger, just think about it. You know what happened last time," he mumbled under his breath.

Bear rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks mom," she spat before turning on her heel and heading to class.

Shane cast me a glance and I shrugged, trying to convey to him that I wouldn't ask what that was all about. Shane immediately shrugged off his serious demeanor and adopted his famous grin.

"Righto, Olive, let's roll!" he shouted gleefully, grabbing my hand and rushing to our first period class.

And even though my simple shrug said that I didn't need to know more, I knew, and I'm sure both Bear and Shane knew as well, I did need to know more.