Ace of Hearts

Pain. Whether it's physical or emotional, it has a source. Physical pain comes from body parts, it's easier to locate the source for that sort of pain. Emotional pain is much more complex. The source of that pain could be a person, a place or something entirely different. Either way, for a person to feel at peace, pain must be neutralised. So whether that means taking medicine or pills, or having to go and set the record straight, it needs to be done, before the pain becomes unbearable.

Madison knew the source of her pain. She knew where it was and the pain it had caused her over the years. She had taught herself to become numb to it, to ignore it and pretend it wasn't happening. It's what she did best, burying her head in the sand. But after Blair's wise words had had time to sink in, Madison knew she had to put things right.

And that's why she was standing in front of the apartment she shared with her father. She twisted her keys around her fingers, the key clinking against the metal keyring. The 'M' that had come from one of Blair's many amazing adventures.

She inhaled deeply, gathering her thoughts. She didn't want to this to end in an argument. She wanted to clear the air between her and her mother, instead of make things worse. She wanted to show everyone that for once, she could pull herself out of the hole she'd dropped into. She didn't need anyone to do that for her. It was time to grow up and face her problems head on, instead of running away from them.

Madison was done running.

She reached for the handle, testing it first, but to her surprise, it clicked open. Dropping her keys back into her bag, she slipped inside.

"Darling, I just need to -"

And there Madison was faced with problem number one. The source of her pain for the past twelve years. The woman she blamed everything on. The slight bump in her nose, the fact that she wasn't as tall as she'd like to have been, and that she'd had to grow up with her father who had no idea about bringing up a teenage girl. Theresa got the blame for all the embarassing father daughter conversations, and her need to run away at the first sign of trouble.

Her mother stopped. A cloth was clasped in her flour stained hands, an apron wrapped around her waist. She'd been in the kitchen. "Madison, honey." She blinked rapidly, as though she had something in her eye.

"Mom, I need to talk to you." She closed the door behind her, before following her mother through to the kitchen. The smell of baking cookies was in the air, and the sink was full of bubbly water. Her mother walked back over to the sink and plucked a glass bowl out of it, proceeding to scrub the dough from it.

Madison stood at the table. She looked around at the mess. Her mother always used to make chocolate chip cookies, and make the kitchen look like a bomb had hit it. She inhaled deeply. “I just wanted to apologise. But I had my reasons for acting like I did, even if it was being a drama queen. It’s been hard for me, you know? Growing up without you. I mean, I couldn’t talk to dad about girly things, he got all flustered if he had to buy tampons, so imagine telling him anything else.”

Theresa sighed heavily and stopped, turning around to face her daughter. Her hands were dripping with greasy water and bubbles. “I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t fair to you. But, I had to get out. Understand that we were sitting in the club watching your dad perform almost every night. I got bored of it. And I know it probably wasn’t the best way to deal with it, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You left me behind to take your place. I ended up sitting in Diva’s every night, watching dad sing the same old songs, wearing sparkly dresses that are now too tight for him.”

Theresa chuckled. “That’s what a diet of chocolate and ice cream does to you.”
Madison shrugged. “Don’t you think I wanted more, mom? I left, just like you did. I disappeared to Rosalie’s masquerade ball in Vegas. I didn’t pick up my phone, I ignored everything outside of this little safety bubble I created. It was just me and Slade. And leaving like that, it did me good. I finally knew what it felt like to be free. To be away from the norm for a little while. Then I came back and reality smacked me right between the eyes.”

Theresa sighed, shaking her head. “I think being selfish did you good. It did me good. I know this return is long overdue, but I wanted more, and I got more. I regret not taking you and your dad with me.”

Madison nodded. “I think now I got my great escape, I understand. Mom, I know that things aren’t going to be fine and dandy between us. I don’t think that coming here and having this conversation is going to fix everything that’s wrong. But it’s a start. I want things to be okay for us. But you have to promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“You won’t do another disappearing act.”

Theresa’s face softened. She walked over to Madison, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Tears stung her eyes. Happiness and acceptance. She knew deep down what she’d done was wrong. But it could’ve turned out a lot worse, and she had twelve years of catching up to do. Things were far from fine, but they were on the track to being just that.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere.” She pulled away from Madison and smiled at her.

Madison nodded. “Good. I have to go sort my other problem out, but I’ll see you later, mom.”

And before the reply from Theresa could register in her mind, Madison was out of the door, running down the stairs out to the car park. She knew where she needed to go, and she hoped to god he’d be there. She got into her car and peeled out of the car park, driving the short, but agonising distance towards the aquarium.

Once she had found herself a parking space, the furthest away from the building, Madison pulled her keys out of the ignition and simply sat there, in silence. With the air conditioning off, she knew the car would soon start to fry. She let out a heavy sigh. She didn’t want to face him, she really didn’t. But to cut out all the pain, to kill it, she had to see him, to talk things through and put things right. The outcome scared her, but it was uncertain, so it could go anyway, and she hoped it would be in her favour.

So, building up a wall of courage, Madison got out of the car, locked it and walked quickly towards the entrance of the aquarium. She paid her entrance fee, not surprised by the lack of queue. Most people were either at work or school, so the fish prison was most likely going to be empty.

The blue glows of the tanks made for a relaxing atmosphere and once she began to drift through the first corridor, she wondered why she’d ever felt worried about this. It wouldn’t be difficult. She could apologise and admit that she was wrong. It wasn’t hard.

She peered in tanks, stalling for time, and hoping that if he wasn’t already here, it’d give him time to arrive and catch up to her. She spied on the bright clown fish and watched jelly fish float around a cylinder tank. She came to the first open space, watching a few seahorses charge one way and then the other, before she turned around and came face to face with two things.

The first was a maroon coloured octopus. It’s beady black eyes stared Madison out. It knew what she was here to do, and it knew the outcome. It was taunting her, it’s tentacles shivering, as if getting itself ready to break free from it’s small tank and wrap her up, squeezing all the life out of her.

The second was the reason she was here. She stopped where she was, waiting for him to move. He didn’t for a while. The only movements made were his breathing and picking up a cup filled with ice and coca cola.

Madison was desperate for this to be over with, so she bit the bullet. Swallowing hard, she cleared her throat. “Slade?”

At the sound of his name, Slade spun around and looked at Madison. “Maddy.” He moved over on the bench, before turning back to the octopus. Madison took his movement as a cue to go over and sit beside him.

And that’s exactly what she did.