Dark Eyed Dreamers

It had been a month since that night. Nothing much had happened just carried on as usual, so I thought I’d save you the boredom and cut to the chase. It was the night before prom and I was nervous. I was sat with my legs folded beneath me on my bed, staring at the dress hanging from the door of my closet. I was biting my nails as I chose out random things to put with it. The sun was setting, casting gold and pink glows around my room. The belt on the dress twinkled in the light and the bag that was hung from the same hanger. I thought about the guys that had whistled as they walked past the windows of the dress store and began to panic. Who was I kidding? I didn’t want to go to prom. I didn’t want to be seen as a piece of meat. I tried to think about what Alex had said about Jack knowing nearly everything about me and liking me for whom I was but then I began to question it. Jack had never told me he liked me. Alex’s words were distant and blurry and I couldn’t make them out. In any normal situation I’d be seeking reassurance to push me forwards but I didn’t want reassurance. I just didn’t want to go. I was being stubborn and I knew it but nothing would change that. I held my head in my hands, a rush of nausea overcame me just like it had at that party over a month and a half ago and I couldn’t rid myself of it. I closed my eyes; taking deep breaths through my nose and letting them out slowly.

I lifted my head and grabbed my phone from the table behind me. I dialled a familiar number.For once it wasn’t Jack’s. I continued to bite my nails as I rose from the bed and made my wait out of the room.

“Hello?” I heard Alex’s voice.

“I can’t go tomorrow,” I said simply.

“What? Are you insane? Come on, Annie, you have to come. Jack’s gonna be heartbroken if you don’t come,” he reasoned. I thought about Jack for a moment. A sinking feeling took place deep in my chest as I thought about how he’d react if I just didn’t turn up at the last minute. Realisation took over and I realised I was being selfish. But that didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want to go.

“He could do so much better though,” I whispered to myself.

“Don’t put yourself down Bri,” I heard Alex began. I blushed lightly for forgetting Alex was on the phone. “He really likes you,” he finished.

“I don’t know if I can believe that,” I sighed bringing my knees to my chest as I sat on my stairs.

“Listen, Bri, I think you’re just being paranoid. You need to open your eyes, look out for the little things Jack does. I can’t really say much else but please, see how he treats others, then look at how he treats you. It’s different, you need to see that,” I frowned in confusion as if he could see me.

“What do you mean?” I asked without thinking. I heard a small laugh come from his end of the line.

“Never mind, just please come tomorrow? If you feel uncomfortable, I’ll be there and Louise, and Zack, and Rian, and Kara and Carolyn. Come on, you’ll have fun,” he finished. I debated it in my mind, staying silent for a few minutes. I suppose he had a point, there wasn’t only going to be me and Jack there. There’d be dozens of other people. I let out a long sigh and pressed my fingers to my temples before closing my eyes.

“I’ll think about it,” I muttered into the receiver.

“Okay, call me tomorrow morning,” Alex spoke softly.

“I will, love you Allie,” I whispered.

“You too, rest, you’ll feel better,” I nodded as if he could see and hung up the phone. I had a lot of thinking to do.