Dark Eyed Dreamers

Jack

I lay on my back staring at the ceiling. The blank wall stared back at me as I twirled the jewellery around my fingers. The last few weeks’ events played over and over in my mind. I couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong. I just couldn’t.

I remained motionless.

“I’m sorry man,” Alex said patting my back as we sat on the sidewalk. But I wasn’t feeling sad. Not sad for finding out my girlfriend had been cheating on me all along. I wanted to let her be free but from this point onwards I was scared. I was scared to be alone, because the only person I could think of was Brianna. I wanted to hold her right now, know that I was needed somewhere, have her telling me everything was alright. The blood was pumping fast through my veins and I was scared. Why did I want Bri? Why, after finding out my girlfriend was a cheat, did I want Brianna?

My breath caught in my throat and I began to shake. Images of her face trapped themselves in my head and I didn’t know what to make of it. Her face was haunting me, but I wanted more.

“Dude, are you okay?” I heard Alex ask, his hand still on my back. I thought about Jenna. I thought about all the feelings I’d felt towards her, and some of the things she did made me genuinely happy. When she tried, she made me laugh and she was nice to be around. She was a good looking girl, hell she knew it, good to look at. But that was it. I thought back to the girl in my dreams and instantly I felt a hot flush take over. Her presence was enough to make me grin like a mad man. The way she screwed her nose up when she was frustrated. The way her eyes would sparkle when she heard something that shocked or excited her. The little squeal she let out whenever I did something she wouldn’t expect. I could remember the first day Alex introduced me to her in eighth grade, she was always shy, her cheeks a rose tint. I found a small smile tugging up the corners of my lips as I remembered every detail. I remember the time Alex and I had woken her at 2:30AM on her birthday without her expecting. She had no makeup and her hair was standing in different directions, but she was still beautiful. She didn’t need the makeup, she had natural beauty. When I wasn’t around her, some part of me wanted to be but I never realised. I started feeling all kinds of things I’d never felt before and it was truly scaring me.

“I need her,” I muttered to myself. Alex let out a sigh next to me.

“I know man, I know,” I heard him say patting my back once more before standing. No, I didn’t need Jenna, I needed her.

I let my eyes close before holding up the thin silver chain. After I’d told her there was another girl, she didn’t stick around. I was afraid she would have thought it was her. That I’d been caught, but she left the car and she didn’t look back. She hadn’t said a word and I let her walk away. I simply sat watching her from my driver’s seat until she was out of view.

The chain spun a few times before slowing down. The chain was dainty and smooth, fragile. Letting my eyes wander down the fine metal the pendant on the end spun around and shone in my eyes. Upon the chain sat a small silver heart. In neat handwriting an inscription sat in the heart. I was afraid of hanging onto the chain forever, just waiting for her. The letters sat in full view, teasing me.

I love you