Our Little Fairy Tale

Five days and we had come up with nothing. It was like he disappeared off of the face of the earth. I can't even remember speaking in the past three days - maybe I didn't. It felt like every part of my body had been turned up in knots. Even Caius could not find him.

I splashed some cold water on my face trying to block out the exhaustion that had built up in me. I hadn't slept, I physically could not close my eye's to sleep and my family's constant fuss over me was starting to irritate me. I had decided to lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes piece.

Sam's words replayed over and over again, making my eye's sting with tears, "He's gone, Renesmee." But that wasn't the truth. I wouldn't let myself believe that because if I did I would have given up all hope. I knew there was a secret message to what they were telling me but I couldn't listen to them. I knew they would never give up searching but somehow they let themselves be fooled by the lie. My Jacob was somewhere and I was going to do anything to find him. Whatever it took, I was going to get him back.

Their search had slowed a little bit. I knew they had done their best. They had searched every corner of the country. There wasn't even a scent - nothing.

I leaned my palms on the wash basin and stared in the mirror, I frowned at the shadows forming around my eye's. It wasn't from the lack of blood this time, though, it was because of the worry and not sleeping.

I jumped as a light knock tapped at the door. "Ness, you ok in there, sweetie?" Alice's musical voice was drenched in worry.

"I'm fine, thanks." I told her. The door clicked as I turned the lock. Her golden eye's were staring back at me.

"You could do with some sleep." She said softly, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"I'm fine." I repeated. "I can't sleep anyway."

"Ness, this is not healthy for you. Ease off on yourself a little bit, you are doing too much."

I got this every minute of the day from each person in my family. It was like they had learned off those exact line and took turns saying them to me. I got it, I knew what they were saying, but I wasn't giving up. Didn't they get that?

"What would you do if this was Jasper?" I knew she would understand when I put her in my point of view. "You wouldn't stop looking until you found him. And you would be lying to both of us if you said you would give up."

Alice frowned and sighed. Finally, maybe now she understood. She nodded her head firmly. "Ok come on, get your coat, lets find him."

I smiled at her gratefully but before she could turn away I caught her arm. "Alice, I would really like some time alone, if you don't mind. I won't go far, I promise." Everyone else was either out looking or hunting. Alice had stayed behind with me.

"Ok but be careful and if you meet your Dad tell him this was your idea, he would kill me for letting you out alone."

I hugged her tightly and ran for the door. I ran as deep as I could into the forest. A sigh of relief escaped my lungs, at last I was alone with only my thought's. I did not know if it that was a good or a bad thing.

I flinched as a droplet of rain fell onto my cheek. Great. I looked up, the clouds were a dark gray, some almost black but right then I did not care. The heavens could have opened up it would not have bothered me.

"Hey." I heard a smooth voice behind me. I turned sharply and hissed. A natural instinct. Caius held his hands up in surrender and smiled weakly. "You win."

I straightened up and shrugged apologetically. "Sorry." I said softly. "Find anything?" I knew the answer before I even asked. My voice had drained of all the hope I had.

He did not say anything, he just nodded his head.

"He couldn't have just disappeared. He is out there, I know he is."

"Of course. I know what it's like to lose someone you love." My eye's narrowed, I had heard Marcus say that before but I did not know his story.

Before I could stop myself I opened my mouth and the words flew out. "What happened?" I felt like kicking myself, maybe he did not want to talk about it, maybe it still hurt him. He obviously loved whoever she was because I could see it in his eye's. I had learned to trust Caius even more the past couple of days. I couldn't say the same for his brother's though, they still gave me the creeps.

He leaned against the bark of the tree and sighed. Maybe this was a bad idea. "She was killed." He said softly, it was almost a whisper.

"Sorry." I said biting down on my lip. I really need to learn how to keep my trap shut.

He stared at me a moment, his once red eye's now golden. All three of them had experimented with our diet whilst they were here.

"It's ok." He smiled. "It was a long time ago."

"Was she like you? I mean a vampire?" What was wrong with me? He obviously was still hurting and this was a sore subject.

"Yes she was. And don't look so worried Renesmee. I don't mind talking about it. There just isn't an awful lot to tell."

I knew he understood what was going through my head and what the pain was like. Sadly, for him, he knew he would never get his love back, for me, there was still a possibility. No matter how small that possibility may be.

I walked around to his side and leaned against the tree. The droplets were becoming more frequent and the bright light of the moon filtered through the gaps in the branches, bouncing off of the wet leaves.

"The helpless feeling." I began, staring at the ground. "It's the worst. Feeling like everything I do it going nowhere. Knowing that he is out there somewhere with nobody. It feels like a step forward is always followed my two steps back." I could feel the warm moisture sting my eye's.

"Renesmee." He said softly. I looked up and was met by his golden eye's. "Have you ever considered that maybe...." I shook my head but he continued. I felt like screaming to block out what he was going to say. "....That maybe Jacob isn't coming back."

My eye's widened and my head continued to shake. Jacob was coming back. He had to. Jake couldn't just leave me. "No, no. He is coming back." I said frantically. "I am going to find him. He didn't leave me. He can't." I was beginning to walk backwards, the endless tears streaming down my face. "I am going to find him. I will." I turned, preparing myself to run. The rain had become heavier and it whipped at my skin. My sobs caught in my throat as my legs began to move. Caius was wrong. He had to have been.

I gasped feeling cold strong arms grasp around my shoulders from behind me, pulling me into his embrace. Then, I broke down. Feeling the frantic sobs, making it hard for me to breathe. My breathing became heavy as my body shook from the ripping pain in my chest. I sunk to my knees feeling the coldness of the ground touch my skin through my jeans. Both my hands shot to my face covering both my mouth and eye's. I could feel Caius position himself so that he was in front of me. His cold hands made a shiver creep down my spine. My sobs became muffled against his chest.

"Hush." He repeated over and over again, rocking me back and forth. I needed Jacob, I needed him back and until I got him back everyday of my life would be miserable.
"Ssh." He tried his best to calm me. "I will help you look, he is out there somewhere. But no matter what...." He began and pulled me to arms length. His gaze was begging me to trust him. "....Promise me, you will never be scared. There will never be any need for you to be scared." What was he talking about? Why would I ever be scared?

"I'm scared for Jacob." I managed to say.

"I know. Just don't get scared. I will be here for you even if it does not seem like I am."

I gazed at him for a moment before he pulled me back into another hug. My sobs were still catching in my throat but that did not help me from wondering, why the hell would I be scared? And yes he had been very good to me but I did not need him. I made sure my thought's did not go to him whist I was touching him but as if he read my mind anyway, he answered.

"Losing someone you love can be very scary, Renesmee. That is what I mean when I told you not to be scared. Promise?" That explained it but that did not mean it felt like what he truly meant.

I opened my mouth, I knew I would only get out a whisper before the sobs choked me. "I promise."