I See You So Please Stay Strong

“You ready buddy?” I asked, stowing his orange snack ball container of Cheerios in his diaper bag and slipping a Mickey Mouse sippy cup filled with Apple juice in the side pouch. “Mm.”
“Booooobah!!” He wiggled, crawling rapidly across the floor and into my room.
“Oh, boy,” I mumbled tiredly, running after him as I picked his little body up and tickled his tummy. “Whatcha want baby?”
“Boobah!” He yelled again, squirming as his eyes started to tear up.
“Pooh Bear?” I leaned over, grabbing the soft, plush baby Pooh Bear stuffed animal and handing it to him, watching as he clutched it to his chest. “That things almost as big as you.” I giggled to myself, setting him on the couch as I slipped my hoodie on. “Wanna let me put your pants on buddy? It’s time to go.”
“Noos!” He shook his head rapidly, looking like he was about to get whiplash as he cuddled with his stuffed best friend.
“No?” I questioned, holding up the matching brown Capri shorts to his green character Garaffi shirt. “Come here you little turd monger,” I landed on the tan couch beside him, laughing as he crawled across the cushions and tried to escape. “Uh uh!” I dragged him by his leg back to my body, giggling quietly as I tickled his tummy and slipped the comfortable fabric over his lower half. “Ready to go now little one?”
“Bah!” He shook his head, sliding off the couch and quickly waddling away, his knees wobbling as he started to fall.
“Riot!” I sprang off the couch, scooping his body up into my arms before he could hit his soft little head on anything. “What am I gonna do with you?” I stood up, grabbed his diaper bag and took the stairs carefully.
“Bah,” He sniffled, wiping his eyes as he held his Pooh Bear close, staring at everything we passed with delayed interest.
“Ma!” I yelled, swinging open the front screen door as I stared into the kitchen. “Me and Riot are going to Target now. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
“Alright! I’m taking the dogs to the dog park! Can I bring BJ too?” She appeared from behind the wall, her weathered and well aged face smiling brightly as she stared at us.
“Bring dad with you, he’s a lot to handle.” I smiled, waving to her as I whispered in Riot’s ear. “Say bye, bye grama. Bye, bye.”
“Bi bi gama!” He waved enthusiastically, grinning proudly as he looked up at her.
“Bye Riot,” She smiled, fixing her thick rimmed Librarian styled glasses. “Have fun and be safe. Do you know when you’ll be back?”
“No, because I’m not sure what we’re going to do after. So I’ll text you,” I answered her next question before she could even ask it, giggling at her shocked face. “Love ya ma. See you later.” I heard the screen door snap shut as I made my way to the street, opening the backdoor of the old white Jeep Cherokee.
It was nothing special, but it got the job done and it certainly held a small place in my heart.
It took us a good half an hour to get to Target, and another five minutes to actually get into the store. But it was all good, I wasn’t in a rush and he definitely wasn’t either. He was a baby, it’s not like he had a date at seven or had to be at work by nine.
Pssh, it better be a long time before that.
And thank God for it.
I had him situated in the front of the cart, his little cart baby bumper positioned around his body, cushioning and cuddling him, as I walked around the store. There wasn’t really much point to this shopping trip besides the need to get out of the house, but I’m sure I’d find a toy or clothing for my little man, if not myself.
But I had to be good too, I only had so much money and it needed to be saved up for when I really needed it. Key point here being that fact that there was no way I would live with my parents for the rest of my life.
No way.
But, for now, it wasn’t too shabby.
“Ohh, Riot! Look at this!” I pointed to the medium sized red box, the same one that housed the Playschool Step Start Walk n’ Ride plastic toy. “Isn’t that cool? You can sit on it and I can push you around. Eh, who knows? Maybe you can even push me around! You can be my taxi driver!”
“Nos!” He pouted, throwing his arm out and reaching for the small plastic bag. “BAT!”
“That?” I picked up the plastic see through bag, giggling loudly as I realized what it was. “Bath toys? Ri Ri, you want these for bath time?”
“Bah!” He giggled loudly, grabbing the plastic bag out of my hands and holding it tight to his chest, examing the different pieces inside of it. “BOG!”
“Frog,” I corrected, laughing at his obsession with the sound and letter “B”. “You want that Ri?”
“Bah,” He grinned, holding up the plastic bag and shaking it wildly, a loud squeal leaving his lips as his eyes caught sight of the small, yellow rubber ducky inside the pack. “BUKI!”
“Duckie,” I giggled loudly, grabbing another one so I could check the price, my eyes widening from shock. “Jesu—Jeeze,” I caught myself, sighing heavily. “Riot, you know how to pick the expensive stuff.”
“Bah,” He grinned up at me proudly, like that was an accomplishment.
And to him, I’m sure it was.
To me, I just lost twenty dollars.
But, oh well. There was absolutely no way I could take it away from him now. And, it didn’t hurt that it warmed my heart watching as his eyes lit up from exploring all of the different toys in the set.
“Come on babe,” I smiled, pushing the cart out of the aisle and down the much larger one, stopping dead in my tracks as I saw, and heard, something I never thought I ever would again. “Oh, God.” I jetsetted myself back into the aisle, watching as the group of five girls came closer and closer.
And it was completely stupid to try and tell myself that it wasn’t them, because they hadn’t changed one bit.
Nita wore her hair a little differently, but the purple streaks were still in there. Taylor still had the same haircut and the same pretty face. Raychel was still short as shit and that same; every loving smile adored her cute face. Sarah had that same blonde hair and dazed look about her, the one that made us all burst out laughing as she made a goofy face. And Mari, the cute little Mari, still wore those skinny jeans and thin headbands.
God, no.
This can’t be happening.
“Mama,” Riot spoke, wiggling up and down in his seat as he tried to reach up and pat my face. “Mama! Bahbah! Jiglojo! Bahahkiu! Juryokga!”
“Shh,” I mumbled quickly, trying to get him to quiet down as they came closer. “Look, Riot, look.” I picked up another set of bath toys, this one having simple plastic figurines in it. “Look, it’s a Penguin and a Whale and a Turtle.”
Okay, so?
I bribed my kid!
Don’t kill me! It worked….somtimes.
He examined the packaged, threw it into the bottom of the cart with his other toy, and looked up at me with wide, deeply bored brown eyes.
Guess it didn’t work this time.
“God, this shit is so pink,” I heard Sarah mumble, her voice less than ten feet away. “I mean, I know its Barbie. But can’t she wear purple or something?”
“Oh, I love purple!” Nita exclaimed, her high giggle reaching my ears easily. “I’d so buy a purple Barbie!”
“You’d so buy a purple Barbie and then make Jay buy you another one after he threw the first one away,” That was Taylor and her loud, sarcastic mouth. “And then you’d guys have make up, heavy sex. And the damn Barbie would have weird white stains all over herself.”
“Oh, you nasty bitch,” Raychel laughed loudly, the sound of her shoes scuffing against the floor quietly.
Okay, make a run for it.
I turned around, only to realize that I was blocked in by a mother and her young children, both of whom were yelling and whining about how they had to have “That”. I gripped the cart handle and pushed us towards the front of the aisle; towards them. I was hoping that I could sneak by without attracting attention, and I think I could do it as long as I turned the corner quick and got out of the way before they could see.
Nine months was a lot of time, I’m sure they wouldn’t even recognize me now, let alone Riot and how much he’s grown.
I wheeled the cart, getting ready to turn left as quickly, but calmly, as I could, all the while trying to shield my face. And good God, I thought I had it, I really did. I was so close; half way there in fact, but I should have know that nothing could have ever worked out that easily.
“BINI!” Riot squealed, squirming in his seat as he pointed and screamed at the group of girls. “BINI! Bah! Bini! Mama! Bini! Mi! Mi! Bini!”
“Aw, he’s so cute….but what the hell does bini mean?” I flinched, hearing Taylor speak up.
“He’s pointing at you Nita,” Sarah burst out laughing, a loud ‘thwap’ sounding out from behind us. “Ha!”
“It’s not funny! I’m no good with kids!” I could just see the blush and pout rising upon her lips.
I turned around slowly, realizing that there was really no way out of this, my eyes flowing my son’s finger as I finally saw what he was pointing at.
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!
He was freaking out and pointing right at Nita’s shiny, bright lip rings.
Lovely.
“Oh, my God.” I heard Nita gasp, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth as she stared at the two of us. “…No….no way.”
“Good God,” Raychel mumbled out, her eyes wide as she and Taylor both uttered the same thing. “No fucking way.”
“Holy shit,” Sarah swore quietly, her British accent seeping through heavily. “Guin.”
"And.........Riot." Mari whispered quietly, her pretty eyes set wide upon her face as she stared at the bubbling baby boy.
Fuck.
Riot, damn you and your obsession with shiny things.