Fractured Greyhound Routes
play in traffic.
Acrid wind stung our faces while polluted exhaust filled our noses making Mikey cough from behind me. Cars sped past us as we huddled into our jackets, my thumb thrust out in the air while my other clung around me feebly for some kind of warmth. The thick haze of shaded clouds that had been dripping the other day were now lightened and through cotton ball billows peek the periwinkle sky. The sun gave off little warmth as the November wind slit through us. I glanced back every once in a while at a shuddering Mikey, seeing his fragile body groping for any kind of warmth in his coat made me chew the inside of my cheek anxiously. He would smile, the wind drying his lips and showing off the cracked skin that stretched just for me. Chestnut locks flew in his face, flickering wildly and even tangling into the frames of his glasses. Forest green eyes sparkled as they watered from the sting of the wind. The tip of his nose was pink, and I watched from the corner of my eye, as it wrinkled and sniffled tiredly.
It had been an hour since the bus had finally pulled over and booted every one off at Vandyke, somewhere in the small state of Delaware near the border of Maryland. Woopti-fuckin-do. I had tried to look hopeful back on the bus when Mikey sat up with child-like excitement, as if we were close to some shred of new light. It didn’t surprise me once we had stepped off the bus and found ourselves in the middle of nowhere.
I hadn’t eaten since early yesterday morning and was weary trying to keep up with Mikey’s interest to explore when there wasn’t even anything to explore. The rigorous wind didn’t help my shaking hands either as I positioned myself as best I could for a ride. Mikey had tried to offer me a sandwich he had intelligibly packed before leaving but I refused his offer, preferring that he eat his own food since he was already malnourished.
“C-come on Frank,” Mikey’s yelled, the wind cutting through his voice so all I could hear was a faint murmer. “Let’s just walk to the nearest town and find something to eat.”
As tempting as that sounded I would rather wait to get a ride to our next destination. And honestly, I didn’t want to admit I probably couldn’t manage the walk to the next town. I just wanted to get as far from Jersey as fucking possible.
“It’s f-fine, Mikey,” I hollered, not looking back to reveal just how fast my strength was ebbing. My thumb was beginning to quiver in the air.
I couldn’t hear Mikey’s frustrated sigh, but I imagined him shifting worriedly, his feet anxious to pace across the side of the highway. It didn’t take that much longer before a car pulled up along the strip of pavement we were standing and rolled down the window. It was an old man with a worn smile carved across his aging skin that hooded his eyes with sagging skin.
“Kids need a ride?”
Mikey stepped closer and nodded his head rapidly like a spineless rag doll, impatient to get off the side of the rode. I could hear his clicking teeth over my heaving heart as I nodded along like his obedient clone and smiled politely, but it only felt like weak fishing lines pulling back the corners of my already cracked lips. You know you need to eat when you feel your cheeks stretching against your cheekbones just to smile. The man’s eyes softened and I could feel Mikey’s hand creep to hold onto mine with a gentle grasp. They could probably see the seams of my body loosening, waiting any second before I fell apart and let the string that held me together ravel on the floor with my putrid red bodily fluids and scraps of brittle bones right at Mikey’s feet and under the man’s tires.
“Well hop in.” The doors clicked as he unlocked his car. Mikey moved his hand to my lower back and softly nudged me forward. With determined self restraint I concentrated not stumbling over my feet that felt like lead. As we slid into the backseat of the man’s car we could already feel the warmth of his little Honda that sent heat trickling through our frigid bodies. It was a small tan leathered car, cozy as could be expected with soft acoustic guitar being played on the radio with a deep man’s voice singing along as a hum.
Mikey’s hand rubbed over mine like he was trying to warm me. It was pointless since his hands were just as cold as mine.
“Thanks f-for doing this. We really appreciate it,” Mikey chattered with a soft, more natural smile. He was always better at being a people-person.
Everything still seemed to hurt, maybe even worse then outside on the highway as my skin burned from the sudden temperature change. I was shaking through and through as it felt the cold had seemed into my bones and pulsing muscles. Mikey was worse, having no actual meat on him made his skeleton body seem to rattle in his seat but he seemed comfortable and enjoying the car’s heat more than I was.
“Names Hank,” the man introduced as he merged back into the stream of cars and sped up. My eyes wandered to Mikey uncertainly but he just smiled up at Hank confidently. I couldn’t help but feel he was shielding me from doing anything that knew would strain me; and faking wasn’t a talent I could perfect at as easily as Mikey.
“I’m Mikey, and this is Frank.”
I wasn’t sure I liked this man knowing my name but went along.
“Where you two heading to?” Mikey’s smile faded just the slightest and he turned to me uncertainly. Truth was, we didn’t know where we were going. It had been spontaneous, the last desperate idea that sprung to mind. Mikey had just followed along, not even the slightest bit reluctant while I babbled about freedom and escape. We were blindly running as far as we could; to the nearest town, the next state, or the farthest our money could take us. Mikey had prepared better then I, draping a backpack of random possessions he had quickly stuffed inside; probably things that had been on the floor of his bedroom.
“Wherever your heading is fine,” I mumbled this time. Hank’s eyes were peeking in the rearview mirror at the both of us like he was trying to see if we were snickering in the back at him. He frowned and went back to the road when he saw our serious frowns. There was a long, drawn out silence and I could sense this man was trying to figure out what to do with us.
“Well I’m heading to Bladensburg, it’s about an hour away- two or three hours from DC, just to let you know,” Hank explained, his eyes flickering to the mirror and I uncomfortably met his ice-blue stare with every glance, making me turn my head down after a while.
“Where ever is convenient for you,” Mikey spoke up, gripping my hand tighter and smiling down at me. It gave me frustrating irate feelings to see Mikey bounce back so fast since our time on the bus. Swelled with mixed irrationality, I looked out the window of Hank’s car and let my hand lay limp in his. The purpose was to flee, leave all our troubled afflictions behind. Seeing Mikey’s beginning to spring back, the way I used to know him, sent errant knots to cramp my stomach. Was it wrong to want him to stay miserable, the way I had clamped onto him and dragged down along with me under the toxic, suffocating waves? I think it was the menacing envy that was gripping me; I could feel it cackling along with my heartbeat that thumped in my ear making some kind of sick rhythm. Along with exhaustion, bitter humiliation sunk me a few more levels and I felt like sinking into the beige leathered upholstery.
An hour didn’t seem like much, but it was a pretty long time to wait in awkward silence with only Hank’s quiet radio. Mikey didn’t seem to like this either, so, he’d taken to unzipping his backpack and searching through the bulge of clothes, plastic baggies of who-knows-what—and there it was, the rattling of prescription bottles. His hands paused from pushing aside bulky sweaters once he’d heard the defining clatter of my toxic rainbow tabs. He hadn’t seen me slipping them into his bag while he was curled up asleep on the bus.
I watched Mikey’s head snap around and was hit surprisingly, not with hurt or pleading eyes like I was used to, but dark and radiating. I never knew his eyes could get so bright. Or maybe it was my imagination that was detecting the furious betrayal.
“You need to fucking sleep!!” he hissed so venomously my fingers began to retract but only to be gripped in some kind of iron grasp I didn’t know Mikey ever used. My eyes flickered to the mirror attached to the windshield window and sure enough Hank was eyeing them conspicuously. Two pairs of eyes were boring into me and I felt on trial, ready to defend against any accusations, as irrational as they may be.
“Mikey, can’t you just-“
“No!” My teeth scrapped together tightly as I tried not to cause a scene, especially in front of Hank, our only ride. I yanked my hand from his and turned my attention to the passenger window.
“Is there a problem?” I looked up and met Hank’s gaze, then gazed over at Mikey, his eyes narrowed and hands fisted. It surprised me, I had never seen him get angry like this. Then I detected it. His adam’s apple roll up and down under the skin and his bottom lip trembling; he was pissed, but seconds from sobbing.
“No. Just fuckin’ peachy,” I replied, leaving out as much emotion as I could and turned back to the window to watch the highway signs pointing to different routes a driver could take. I wish there would have been one for me, warning me where we were heading and just how fast would we sink.
It had been an hour since the bus had finally pulled over and booted every one off at Vandyke, somewhere in the small state of Delaware near the border of Maryland. Woopti-fuckin-do. I had tried to look hopeful back on the bus when Mikey sat up with child-like excitement, as if we were close to some shred of new light. It didn’t surprise me once we had stepped off the bus and found ourselves in the middle of nowhere.
I hadn’t eaten since early yesterday morning and was weary trying to keep up with Mikey’s interest to explore when there wasn’t even anything to explore. The rigorous wind didn’t help my shaking hands either as I positioned myself as best I could for a ride. Mikey had tried to offer me a sandwich he had intelligibly packed before leaving but I refused his offer, preferring that he eat his own food since he was already malnourished.
“C-come on Frank,” Mikey’s yelled, the wind cutting through his voice so all I could hear was a faint murmer. “Let’s just walk to the nearest town and find something to eat.”
As tempting as that sounded I would rather wait to get a ride to our next destination. And honestly, I didn’t want to admit I probably couldn’t manage the walk to the next town. I just wanted to get as far from Jersey as fucking possible.
“It’s f-fine, Mikey,” I hollered, not looking back to reveal just how fast my strength was ebbing. My thumb was beginning to quiver in the air.
I couldn’t hear Mikey’s frustrated sigh, but I imagined him shifting worriedly, his feet anxious to pace across the side of the highway. It didn’t take that much longer before a car pulled up along the strip of pavement we were standing and rolled down the window. It was an old man with a worn smile carved across his aging skin that hooded his eyes with sagging skin.
“Kids need a ride?”
Mikey stepped closer and nodded his head rapidly like a spineless rag doll, impatient to get off the side of the rode. I could hear his clicking teeth over my heaving heart as I nodded along like his obedient clone and smiled politely, but it only felt like weak fishing lines pulling back the corners of my already cracked lips. You know you need to eat when you feel your cheeks stretching against your cheekbones just to smile. The man’s eyes softened and I could feel Mikey’s hand creep to hold onto mine with a gentle grasp. They could probably see the seams of my body loosening, waiting any second before I fell apart and let the string that held me together ravel on the floor with my putrid red bodily fluids and scraps of brittle bones right at Mikey’s feet and under the man’s tires.
“Well hop in.” The doors clicked as he unlocked his car. Mikey moved his hand to my lower back and softly nudged me forward. With determined self restraint I concentrated not stumbling over my feet that felt like lead. As we slid into the backseat of the man’s car we could already feel the warmth of his little Honda that sent heat trickling through our frigid bodies. It was a small tan leathered car, cozy as could be expected with soft acoustic guitar being played on the radio with a deep man’s voice singing along as a hum.
Mikey’s hand rubbed over mine like he was trying to warm me. It was pointless since his hands were just as cold as mine.
“Thanks f-for doing this. We really appreciate it,” Mikey chattered with a soft, more natural smile. He was always better at being a people-person.
Everything still seemed to hurt, maybe even worse then outside on the highway as my skin burned from the sudden temperature change. I was shaking through and through as it felt the cold had seemed into my bones and pulsing muscles. Mikey was worse, having no actual meat on him made his skeleton body seem to rattle in his seat but he seemed comfortable and enjoying the car’s heat more than I was.
“Names Hank,” the man introduced as he merged back into the stream of cars and sped up. My eyes wandered to Mikey uncertainly but he just smiled up at Hank confidently. I couldn’t help but feel he was shielding me from doing anything that knew would strain me; and faking wasn’t a talent I could perfect at as easily as Mikey.
“I’m Mikey, and this is Frank.”
I wasn’t sure I liked this man knowing my name but went along.
“Where you two heading to?” Mikey’s smile faded just the slightest and he turned to me uncertainly. Truth was, we didn’t know where we were going. It had been spontaneous, the last desperate idea that sprung to mind. Mikey had just followed along, not even the slightest bit reluctant while I babbled about freedom and escape. We were blindly running as far as we could; to the nearest town, the next state, or the farthest our money could take us. Mikey had prepared better then I, draping a backpack of random possessions he had quickly stuffed inside; probably things that had been on the floor of his bedroom.
“Wherever your heading is fine,” I mumbled this time. Hank’s eyes were peeking in the rearview mirror at the both of us like he was trying to see if we were snickering in the back at him. He frowned and went back to the road when he saw our serious frowns. There was a long, drawn out silence and I could sense this man was trying to figure out what to do with us.
“Well I’m heading to Bladensburg, it’s about an hour away- two or three hours from DC, just to let you know,” Hank explained, his eyes flickering to the mirror and I uncomfortably met his ice-blue stare with every glance, making me turn my head down after a while.
“Where ever is convenient for you,” Mikey spoke up, gripping my hand tighter and smiling down at me. It gave me frustrating irate feelings to see Mikey bounce back so fast since our time on the bus. Swelled with mixed irrationality, I looked out the window of Hank’s car and let my hand lay limp in his. The purpose was to flee, leave all our troubled afflictions behind. Seeing Mikey’s beginning to spring back, the way I used to know him, sent errant knots to cramp my stomach. Was it wrong to want him to stay miserable, the way I had clamped onto him and dragged down along with me under the toxic, suffocating waves? I think it was the menacing envy that was gripping me; I could feel it cackling along with my heartbeat that thumped in my ear making some kind of sick rhythm. Along with exhaustion, bitter humiliation sunk me a few more levels and I felt like sinking into the beige leathered upholstery.
An hour didn’t seem like much, but it was a pretty long time to wait in awkward silence with only Hank’s quiet radio. Mikey didn’t seem to like this either, so, he’d taken to unzipping his backpack and searching through the bulge of clothes, plastic baggies of who-knows-what—and there it was, the rattling of prescription bottles. His hands paused from pushing aside bulky sweaters once he’d heard the defining clatter of my toxic rainbow tabs. He hadn’t seen me slipping them into his bag while he was curled up asleep on the bus.
I watched Mikey’s head snap around and was hit surprisingly, not with hurt or pleading eyes like I was used to, but dark and radiating. I never knew his eyes could get so bright. Or maybe it was my imagination that was detecting the furious betrayal.
“You need to fucking sleep!!” he hissed so venomously my fingers began to retract but only to be gripped in some kind of iron grasp I didn’t know Mikey ever used. My eyes flickered to the mirror attached to the windshield window and sure enough Hank was eyeing them conspicuously. Two pairs of eyes were boring into me and I felt on trial, ready to defend against any accusations, as irrational as they may be.
“Mikey, can’t you just-“
“No!” My teeth scrapped together tightly as I tried not to cause a scene, especially in front of Hank, our only ride. I yanked my hand from his and turned my attention to the passenger window.
“Is there a problem?” I looked up and met Hank’s gaze, then gazed over at Mikey, his eyes narrowed and hands fisted. It surprised me, I had never seen him get angry like this. Then I detected it. His adam’s apple roll up and down under the skin and his bottom lip trembling; he was pissed, but seconds from sobbing.
“No. Just fuckin’ peachy,” I replied, leaving out as much emotion as I could and turned back to the window to watch the highway signs pointing to different routes a driver could take. I wish there would have been one for me, warning me where we were heading and just how fast would we sink.