Legendary

I pulled up to Pete’s, sliding into the blacktopped driveway. The ever-familiar house stood before me as I approached his front door. Time after time, I’d been here for all his breakdowns and breakups; because that’s who I was. His best friend, best man, practically his other half, more or less with Ashlee.

The door pulled open as Pete appeared from nowhere. “Hey Patrick, come in.”

I stepped in; my shoes clicking against the hardwood floor. Upstairs, I could hear Bronx wailing and, distantly, Ashlee attempting to hush and coo him.

“So, what’d you need?” I asked, jumping straight to the point. Rachel wanted to go out to eat, and the times when both our schedules let up are rare.

He let out a deep breath of air: clue number one this wasn’t going to be good. “How are you doing, Patrick? Everything good?” He was stalling: clue two.

“Pete, everything’s great. What’s going on?”

“Good. That’s good. I’m glad.” I stared him down so he’d hurry up. Some people have to be some places sometimes, Wentz. “Joe, Andy, and I were talking…” Group talks, without me: clue number three. This was going to drive me nuts.

“And…?”

He shifted uncomfortably, his hands behind his back, his eyes focusing anywhere but me, his foot drawing random patterns against the wood. Bronx’s howls hushed down to whimpers.

“…We think it’s time for Fall Out Boy to be, you know, laid to rest.”

The words churned in my head. Over and over, I analyzed what Pete had just told me. Was he serious? This just has to be one of his shitty jokes; he couldn’t do this to me. No, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t.

“You…what?”

He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “We just think it’d be best. I mean, Joe and Marie are just trying to get their wedding planned, Ashlee and I have a family now, and Andy would really like to be more with the Fuck City guys, you know, fulltime. It’s nothing we’re sure about, but you never really expected Fall Out Boy to last forever, did you?”

“Forever? No. Longer than this? Yes, of course!” I threw my hand up in protest; even if he was going to win this one anyway. But, no Fall Out Boy? No going on tour? No being with my best friends all day, doing what I loved? It killed me, I couldn’t even think properly.

“It’s not like we’ll never see each other, Patrick. You know you’ll always be my best friend.”

“That’s not the same! Nothing will be the same.”

“I told you, nothing’s for sure. But, for now, Andy, Joe, and I have agreed. I think it’s time for a hiatus…” He paused, chewing his bottom lip. “In the least.”

It took everything I had to keep my voice down. “And where was I in this decision? Any of you ever think that maybe I have a say too? How was this decided without me, whatsoever?”

He was silent. That son of a bitch, completely silent. He had no excuse, not one fucking excuse. His eyes just stayed glued to the floor.

“You… you think this is some kind of joke? I’m not kidding here; how many other things have you guys discussed behind my back? How long has this, all this, been going on? All eight fucking years?”

“Of course not, Patrick. We just got… talking, you know?” His voice was hushed, and he had his hands spread out to me, as if it was going to calm me down. “Yeah, like you and I talk. It’s different.”

“Don’t bring you and I into this. This… this is about all of us, not just you and I.”

“I know, man, I know. How about we get some coffee? Just so we can talk about this.” He motioned towards the kitchen, beckoning me to follow. Instead, I started towards the front door.

“Rachel and I are going to go out tonight. I can’t stay,” was all I gave him before slamming the door and jogging out to my car.

Once in safety, I gave up holding it all in. I pounded my fist against the steering wheel, as if that was going to help. This wasn’t… how could I… we were family. How could they just give up on this? It’s not like we’ve been fighting or anything.

I jerked back out of the driveway, hoping he heard my tires squeal; praying he heard me wanting to be away from him as quickly as possible.

Fall Out Boy was my job; my life even. What would I be doing without it? Joe, Pete, and Andy all had somewhere to go, something to do. I had Rachel… and a house here in L.A. even when I wanted to be back in Chicago. I’d given up homes, girlfriends, and even family for these guys, so finally, after I get situated here, they choose to do this to me?

I wiped a few stray tears away; I wasn’t going to cry over this, I wasn’t going to cry over them. That’d be pointless, completely fucking pointless.

I pulled into the garage and let the door shut completely before getting out of the car. It was a few heavy steps into the house, and even more so as I stepped into the carpeted living room.

“Ready to go, Rach?” I called out, considering she wasn’t in the kitchen or here. There was silence for a moment before I could hear her stirring in the bedroom upstairs, I assumed getting ready.

“Yeah, I’m coming, hold on.” She came down the stairs, clad in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, even if it was summer. “Hey, how was Pete’s?” she asked, placing a kiss on my cheek before gathering her purse and shoes.

“Just fucking fantastic,” I muttered, stopping Rachel in her tracks. She turned around and came back to me. Worry shone in her eyes and she gently put a hand over my cheek.

“Why? What happened? Everything okay?” She rushed her words out, guiding me back towards the couch and sitting me down. Was I seriously that easy to read?

“Sure, I guess, well, I don’t even know anymore.” I sighed. God, I’m pathetic, everyone else is dealing with this just dandily, why am I having such a problem with it?

She frowned, the corners of her lips pulling down abruptly. “What happened, Patrick?”

“Fall Out Boy’s on hiatus,” I paused, taking in her confused expression. “In the least.” The words burned in my throat as I pushed them out, feeling foreign to my own tongue.

Oh god, she breathed and reached her arms around me, pulling me tightly to her. Her hand ran down my back over and over as she asked, “That doesn’t make sense, why? I mean, you guys were doing just fine.”

“I don’t know, I really don’t.” Burying my head into her shoulder, I let out a deep breath of air. “We should get going if we don’t want to hit the dinner rush,” I suggested, lifting my eyes just enough to catch hers.

“No, not tonight. We’ll just stay here.” Her fingers pulled through my hair, her lips pressed to my forehead.

“But-“

She hushed me. “We can just stay here, more us time, you know?” I gave in. I wasn’t up to going anywhere, definitely not now, not tonight. Not tomorrow.

Not for awhile.