Not By A Long Shot

"I can't take this anymore!"
He picks up his things and leaves, and slams the door on his way out.
I stood there frozen, I couldn't believe that he gave up on us just like that. I couldn't believe that he would let things go this far, how could I lat things get to this...
I knew this was as much as my fault as it was his, I could never solely blame him for how bad things had been going.
When I finally felt my feet defrost, I slowly walked to the window and watched him leave, he never even looked back, not even one glance, that's when I knew that it was over for good. No more us, no more nights under the stars, no more random visits.
I felt tears stream down my face, I wanted to chase him down the street, kiss him and beg him to stay, but my pride wouldn't let me, neither would my conscience I would never force myself on him. I could NEVER deny him his happiness even if the price was my own.

I walked away from the window and went up to my room, curled up on my bed and cried my eyes out before eventually falling asleep

I opened the door, the house seemed much to quiet, I was so angry, not at her. I could NEVER be angry at her, I loved her way to much, I was angry at myself. But it was the only way I could leave her.. she would be heartbroken, that much I knew, but if I stayed with her knowing I wouldn't be around much longer, it would break her apart even worse than now.
The pained look in her eyes when I left wanted to let me know how much she would cry, how much she wanted to beg me to stay, how much she wanted to let me know how happy i've made her the past year we've been together. All this from one look at her beautiful brown eyes, but all her efforts were in vain, I had to leave soon, and a straight slice through the heart would be easier for both of us rather than slow and painful ones. I would take her with me but, she has her whole life ahead of her, she was brilliant, beautiful and talented. She could do so much more without me. I would be a hindrance, nothing but a barrier between her and her certain bright future.
Suddenly the phone rang, causing me to return to reality, as soon as I answered the phone a chipper voice replied "Hey man, time for practice, get your ass over here as in right now, kay?" and slams the phone back on the receiver before I even got a chance to retaliate.
I take in a deep breath and started walking toward my friend's house thinking of what I would do if our efforts actually came up with fruitful results.. thinking of how I could ever make it up to her, that girl crying in her room thinking about how much I hate her, which was the farthest from the truth.
She deserved so much better.

As I rang the doorbell I shook all away all my thoughts and put on a faux smile on my face for my friends.