Here Goes Nothin

We stare at broken clocks the hands don't turn anymore. The days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty places. When you lost him I slowly lost you too. For when he died he took a part of you

You haven't left the house in weeks. Not since we found out. You wouldn't even come to the funeral. You were to heart broken. You were so excited to go to dinner with him that night, you were going to tell him the news.... You were pregnant! I was so excited for you both, but when you lost him i slowly lost you too, he was your everything you were engaged and going to have a baby, but now you never leave the room except to go to the toilet, I can't remember the last time you had a shower but it doesn't matter. You rarely eat even though i cook for you every day, I don't want to lose you too, losing a best friend is hard enough, but losing my twin sister too? No way i wouldn't be able to cope.

No time for farewells, no chances for goodbyes, no explanations no fucking reasons why

No one saw it coming, not even you his Fiancee, I thought he was happy, we all thought he was, but some people have to fight silent battles with themselves every day, I guess he just couldn't cope any longer.

I watched it eat you up, pieces fallen on the floor. We stare at broken clocks the hands don't turn anymore

His death is slowly killing you too, I can see it eat at you like a disease, i cant begin to think how much it has affected you.

You had a miscarriage a few days ago. I had to call the Doctor to come and see you because you still refused to leave the house, I always said you were the stubborn one.
Now I think about it time really did stop that day, I remember Curtis coming over to break the news. All the clocks in the house chimed at the same time, then fell off the wall's one by one. We were having a drink when he came, you were speechless even the clocks didn't move you. You cried in my arms for hours.

If only sorrow could build a stair case or tears could show the way, I would climb my way to heaven and bring you home again

If there was anything I could do I would do it, just to see that pretty smile of yours, even if it was only once, I just want you to be happy thats all I ask.

Don't give up hope my friend, this is not the end, death is only a chapter so let's rip out the pages of yesterday, death is only a horizon and I'm ready for my sun to set

You've given up on life but I wont give up on you. You have your whole life ahead of you yet your wasting away to nothing. I know he was your everything but you need to move on, you've slowly started to do little things like eating meals every day, going outside, having friends over, your gaining color in your cheeks and i was sure I saw i smile form from one of Curtis' comments today, your moving on a little, just a little.

If only sorrow could build a staircase or tears could show the way

You died yesterday in a car crash, you were hit head on by a drunk driver and died on impact, but they said that you died peacefully. You had absolutely no cuts, wounds, scrapes, or bruises, You died beautifully, just how we remembered you, but you got what you wanted your buried with Oliver and you get to be with him forever, just like you imagined.

It was hard losing you, we were so close, I went to your funeral today, Mum and Dad organized your tombstone. It was beautiful marble just like Oli's. It read with gold lettering:

Lily Rosetta Nicholls
1986-2009
She meant the world to all she knew
She will never be forgotten.

and no one will forget her, especially me, I feel as if a piece of me is missing since you died, I wear your locket with the photo of us. It makes me feel more complete, I know this is what you wanted, to be with him forever, I wish it didn't have to end like this not yet, not..... yet.