Status: Completed
Trust or Kill
Chapter 13: Nightmares, Fights, and Violence.
NOTE: Direct copy and paste from my post in the Meg Cabot forum. Yes, that is the most importanat place where I put this fanfic cause I have the most fans there. Including dear Suki.
In here, Stephanie is the best <3 <3
~Hey everyone! *Waves* I know! The kiss is a shocker right? Well, here explains a bit of it, but unfortunately things won't clear up until the next chapter. Right now, it's just Seth's life... and no his hell won't start until SOMEONE comes to Forks *rubs hands together*
~Oh, by the way, the green eye thing of the new Vampire is deliberate. The new vampire is Katy-May and she is a special one... so special the Volturi would kill to get her *hints hints*
~As for the Warlock Coven (or covenant whatever it's call, I'll check soon), their names are just Ian, Dylan, Chace, Steven, etc as the actors' names are listed with the picture (I'm too lazy to create new names, forgive me :) )
Chapter 13: Nightmares, Fights, and Violence.
~Seth’s POV~
“I can’t believe you let me go,” Kanie muttered. I looked at her helplessly, what could I possibly say to make thing better? To make things back to what they were? “I know. I’m sorry, I never should have let you go.”
Kanie looked up at me, her whole eyeball turning coal black, “You do know it’s too late for a sorry do you?”
Surprisingly. I remained calm, not a single bit afraid that she was going to be angry and lose herself again, “It doesn’t matter if you want to kill me… I deserve anyways.” And you know I can’t live without you went unsaid. Stupid Seth, just say it!
“I NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION OF HURTING ANY OF YOU,” she yelled, furious, as fire burned on her clenched fists, “YOU THINK I CAN’T CONTORL? I CAN! I’VE NEVER LOST CONTROL BEFORE!”
I looked at her, unable to control my anger, “But you did! You lost control and hurt Jacob!”
“I didn’t! I just wanted to help you because you were lying there with a freaking broken leg! Even if I had I lost control, you can’t even forgive for MY NATURE? What about Sam? Did you constantly blame HIM for attacking his WIFE?”
Her words stuck my heart. She was just trying to protect me? Me as a dog? And even she wasn’t, she was right; we make mistakes in life, we all do. How could I have been so stupid to not see that?
The fire started to grow, and she was essentially outraged “It’s ME who I want to hurt, ME who I want to kill”
My eyes widen, I put out a hand, “Kanie don’t.”
“I can’t live with myself as a monster, Seth. Jacob hates me, you hate me, everyone hates me!” My words were stuck in my throat, I couldn’t utter a sound.
Just then, Jasper appear, “Kanie,” he muttered, “Kanie don’t. Live for me, if not anyone, then for me.”
I gaped at him. “I love you Kanie.”
And her fire extinguished, her hand fell into his. Never to part again.
I woke with a start.
Damn it, Seth. What have you done? Why the hell were you so stupid enough to let her go?
I banged me head on the bed still, “Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.” I muttered repeatedly.
There was sound of a door opening and Alice danced in… well, not exactly danced, she hadn’t been herself lately… ever since Jasper left with Kanie.
“Hi,” she said, without any enthusiasm, I noted, “how are you doing?”
“Fine,” I said.
“He had a nightmare,” Edward contradicted me as he came in, “about Kanie.”
“Oh,” Alice said, hurt colored her tone… without wraning she broke into rants of apology.
I sat up, “Alice, Alice!” I shook her slightly, “Nothing is your fault, OK? It’s mine! I’m the one who let her go.”
I looked at Edward for help, but he just sat there, emotions reminding me of a rock, “Yes, a big part of it is her fault… at least her vision is.”
“Vision?” I echoed.
“She saw Kanie and Jasper kissing.”
Something must have sliced me open and twisted my guts. I had never felt that hurt in my life. Alice looked as if she was on the verge of crying but never able to because of her nature. It was torture, and Alice couldn’t take another minute of it; she ran out of the room and probably out of the house as well.
What does Alice have to do with this? I finally thought
Edward mouth turned into a tight line, “She hurt Jasper a lot. Especially that day that Jasper got hurt in the fight, she said it was his fault and he started it but she didn’t hear what Jacob said under his breath.”
What did he say?
Edward shifted uncomfortably, “That Jasper and Alice could go to hell.” My eyes widened again, so that’s why Jasper attacked him? Not because of something about Kanie and an insult?
Edward rolled his eyes, “Jasper loves Alice, but what she said to him hurt him a lot…” he paused, “I guess that’s why they got together.”
I sighed, “Tell me the truth, I was stupid to let her go, wasn’t I? I mean… I didn’t believe she was strong enough to get over Jacob, so I let her go…”
Edward nodded, “We have to face the truth sometimes.”
“Has Alice ever had any vision of them coming back?” I wanted to know.
Edward hesitated, “No. I think they haven’t made the decision to come back yet.”
I nodded. Something will have to make them decided… what if I went to find them? But no, I still had my duties here as a werewolf—Jake had taken me back, I can’t lose his trust again.
Of course, I didn’t know that not setting out to find her would only backfire and make my world a living hell.
School was starting soon, and I had no idea how I could even go back to study when every meeting with Jake is hell.
I simply can’t go to a school with him in it.
“Seth, you better forget about Kanie soon,” Jake growled. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself. How could I possibly forget about Kanie? Maybe it was the time to tell them.
“I love her, Jake,” I said, keep my voice even and steady.
“So? She’s out of your life now, and that doesn’t change the fact that she is dangerous.” Okay, my limit.
I changed into my wolf form and sprang at him, Jake immediately changed as well, “You say dangerous, huh Jake? What about Nessy huh?” I jumped and took a bite of his ear. Jake whined, “You’re out of bounds Seth!”
I leaped to take a bite at his neck, but he ducked. Damn him, he was fast. “Oh yeah, and you weren’t with Sam as well when Bella was pregnant?”
“That was different!” he leaped at me, throwing me on my back. God, that freaking hurt like sh*t!
“And who stood by you when you were in trouble, Jake? Who? Leah? Yeah, didn’t she follow when I left to come support you? When I was there for you all along?” I growled at him angrily, “And this is how you repay me, Jake?”
Jake paused. I took my chance, my anger wasn’t going to die out so easily. I leaped and bit his neck. Jake whined and threw me off, but on the wrong time; my teeth were still clenched hard, thus it drew blood when I was frown back so forcefully. Jake whined then made a move to attack me himself. How dare him! It wasn't even on intention, he brought it on himself!He leaped, I shut my eyes. I knew if he got me, his anger will take him away… and I would be dead.
How much would it hurt? I couldn’t live without Kanie anyways.
Out of nowhere, the figures of Paul and Quil came and push Jacob to the ground while he was hanging in midair.
“You’re f**king out of control, Jake!” Paul screamed in his mind. Jacob snapped and withered under their paws, “He’s the one out of control!”
“Stop it, Jake. Listen to yourself, he loves Kanie and you’re trying to separate them, Jacob,” Quil thought. Out of the mist, the figure of Sam approached us, followed Embry, Brady, Collin, and Leah.
Sam spoke in his mind first, “Jake, you did the same for Bella.”
“In the end I had wanted to save the pack. I had intended to kill Nessy!”
“Right,” Leah said sarcastically, but Embry cut in, “At the end, you imprinted on her, and you protected her.”
“That’s right, I imprinted on her,” Jake said.
I couldn’t stand it anymore, “And I f**king imprinted on Kanie!” Then I got up and ran, ran away… far away from the pack to a place where I can be free from the thoughts.
He imprinted on Kanie? Brady said, his tone happy and light. I wished I was like him again, I wish I had never gown older, grown smarter, grown to see just how sick this twisted world was, and how stupid Jacob Black could be. I wish I never fell in love or imprinted on anyone! No, Kanie meant the world to me. I would give up everything for her... if I didn't freaking let her go for Jacob Black, the worse, butthead leader of our kind.
Why didn’t he tell us since the beginning? It would have changed everything.Sam asked. I shut my eyes but kept running, anticipating the blow. “Seth is stupid, Seth cause all of this, Seth tore our pack apart,” I was prepared for allof it.
He probably would have if Jake wasn’t such a butthead, Paul interjected
No…Leah soft voice interrupted he was just scared… he was scared to admit that only reason he cared for Kanie was because he imprinted on her… but he can’t see himself right now… if he just imprinted on her the feeling would be different… he truly loves her
That’s understandable, Sam said… and I knew I was forgiven by him. God, none of them actually blamed me for being such a coward! But what exactly did Leah mean?
Hey, I love— Quil started.
You love her because of the imprint, it isn’t true love. It will be one day, but not yet, Quil. Don’t be upset and don’t think about it. The point is that you and Seth are different, you will grow to love the person you imprinted on. But at the moment, if the person you imprinted on but don’t truly love dies, life moves on after a while. If the person you love dies… life moves on after an eternity.
Eternity, she had said.
I don't even want to move on without Kanie at all.
Those were the last words I heard, before I was far… very far away. God, I wasn’t even in Forks anymore.
I would be back, of course… back for Leah, for Sam, for Brady, Paul, Embry, the Cullens, and those that stood by my side… but not for a while.
Not while I still have myself to blame for losing the one I love.
In here, Stephanie is the best <3 <3
~Hey everyone! *Waves* I know! The kiss is a shocker right? Well, here explains a bit of it, but unfortunately things won't clear up until the next chapter. Right now, it's just Seth's life... and no his hell won't start until SOMEONE comes to Forks *rubs hands together*
~Oh, by the way, the green eye thing of the new Vampire is deliberate. The new vampire is Katy-May and she is a special one... so special the Volturi would kill to get her *hints hints*
~As for the Warlock Coven (or covenant whatever it's call, I'll check soon), their names are just Ian, Dylan, Chace, Steven, etc as the actors' names are listed with the picture (I'm too lazy to create new names, forgive me :) )
Chapter 13: Nightmares, Fights, and Violence.
~Seth’s POV~
“I can’t believe you let me go,” Kanie muttered. I looked at her helplessly, what could I possibly say to make thing better? To make things back to what they were? “I know. I’m sorry, I never should have let you go.”
Kanie looked up at me, her whole eyeball turning coal black, “You do know it’s too late for a sorry do you?”
Surprisingly. I remained calm, not a single bit afraid that she was going to be angry and lose herself again, “It doesn’t matter if you want to kill me… I deserve anyways.” And you know I can’t live without you went unsaid. Stupid Seth, just say it!
“I NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION OF HURTING ANY OF YOU,” she yelled, furious, as fire burned on her clenched fists, “YOU THINK I CAN’T CONTORL? I CAN! I’VE NEVER LOST CONTROL BEFORE!”
I looked at her, unable to control my anger, “But you did! You lost control and hurt Jacob!”
“I didn’t! I just wanted to help you because you were lying there with a freaking broken leg! Even if I had I lost control, you can’t even forgive for MY NATURE? What about Sam? Did you constantly blame HIM for attacking his WIFE?”
Her words stuck my heart. She was just trying to protect me? Me as a dog? And even she wasn’t, she was right; we make mistakes in life, we all do. How could I have been so stupid to not see that?
The fire started to grow, and she was essentially outraged “It’s ME who I want to hurt, ME who I want to kill”
My eyes widen, I put out a hand, “Kanie don’t.”
“I can’t live with myself as a monster, Seth. Jacob hates me, you hate me, everyone hates me!” My words were stuck in my throat, I couldn’t utter a sound.
Just then, Jasper appear, “Kanie,” he muttered, “Kanie don’t. Live for me, if not anyone, then for me.”
I gaped at him. “I love you Kanie.”
And her fire extinguished, her hand fell into his. Never to part again.
I woke with a start.
Damn it, Seth. What have you done? Why the hell were you so stupid enough to let her go?
I banged me head on the bed still, “Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.” I muttered repeatedly.
There was sound of a door opening and Alice danced in… well, not exactly danced, she hadn’t been herself lately… ever since Jasper left with Kanie.
“Hi,” she said, without any enthusiasm, I noted, “how are you doing?”
“Fine,” I said.
“He had a nightmare,” Edward contradicted me as he came in, “about Kanie.”
“Oh,” Alice said, hurt colored her tone… without wraning she broke into rants of apology.
I sat up, “Alice, Alice!” I shook her slightly, “Nothing is your fault, OK? It’s mine! I’m the one who let her go.”
I looked at Edward for help, but he just sat there, emotions reminding me of a rock, “Yes, a big part of it is her fault… at least her vision is.”
“Vision?” I echoed.
“She saw Kanie and Jasper kissing.”
Something must have sliced me open and twisted my guts. I had never felt that hurt in my life. Alice looked as if she was on the verge of crying but never able to because of her nature. It was torture, and Alice couldn’t take another minute of it; she ran out of the room and probably out of the house as well.
What does Alice have to do with this? I finally thought
Edward mouth turned into a tight line, “She hurt Jasper a lot. Especially that day that Jasper got hurt in the fight, she said it was his fault and he started it but she didn’t hear what Jacob said under his breath.”
What did he say?
Edward shifted uncomfortably, “That Jasper and Alice could go to hell.” My eyes widened again, so that’s why Jasper attacked him? Not because of something about Kanie and an insult?
Edward rolled his eyes, “Jasper loves Alice, but what she said to him hurt him a lot…” he paused, “I guess that’s why they got together.”
I sighed, “Tell me the truth, I was stupid to let her go, wasn’t I? I mean… I didn’t believe she was strong enough to get over Jacob, so I let her go…”
Edward nodded, “We have to face the truth sometimes.”
“Has Alice ever had any vision of them coming back?” I wanted to know.
Edward hesitated, “No. I think they haven’t made the decision to come back yet.”
I nodded. Something will have to make them decided… what if I went to find them? But no, I still had my duties here as a werewolf—Jake had taken me back, I can’t lose his trust again.
Of course, I didn’t know that not setting out to find her would only backfire and make my world a living hell.
School was starting soon, and I had no idea how I could even go back to study when every meeting with Jake is hell.
I simply can’t go to a school with him in it.
“Seth, you better forget about Kanie soon,” Jake growled. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself. How could I possibly forget about Kanie? Maybe it was the time to tell them.
“I love her, Jake,” I said, keep my voice even and steady.
“So? She’s out of your life now, and that doesn’t change the fact that she is dangerous.” Okay, my limit.
I changed into my wolf form and sprang at him, Jake immediately changed as well, “You say dangerous, huh Jake? What about Nessy huh?” I jumped and took a bite of his ear. Jake whined, “You’re out of bounds Seth!”
I leaped to take a bite at his neck, but he ducked. Damn him, he was fast. “Oh yeah, and you weren’t with Sam as well when Bella was pregnant?”
“That was different!” he leaped at me, throwing me on my back. God, that freaking hurt like sh*t!
“And who stood by you when you were in trouble, Jake? Who? Leah? Yeah, didn’t she follow when I left to come support you? When I was there for you all along?” I growled at him angrily, “And this is how you repay me, Jake?”
Jake paused. I took my chance, my anger wasn’t going to die out so easily. I leaped and bit his neck. Jake whined and threw me off, but on the wrong time; my teeth were still clenched hard, thus it drew blood when I was frown back so forcefully. Jake whined then made a move to attack me himself. How dare him! It wasn't even on intention, he brought it on himself!He leaped, I shut my eyes. I knew if he got me, his anger will take him away… and I would be dead.
How much would it hurt? I couldn’t live without Kanie anyways.
Out of nowhere, the figures of Paul and Quil came and push Jacob to the ground while he was hanging in midair.
“You’re f**king out of control, Jake!” Paul screamed in his mind. Jacob snapped and withered under their paws, “He’s the one out of control!”
“Stop it, Jake. Listen to yourself, he loves Kanie and you’re trying to separate them, Jacob,” Quil thought. Out of the mist, the figure of Sam approached us, followed Embry, Brady, Collin, and Leah.
Sam spoke in his mind first, “Jake, you did the same for Bella.”
“In the end I had wanted to save the pack. I had intended to kill Nessy!”
“Right,” Leah said sarcastically, but Embry cut in, “At the end, you imprinted on her, and you protected her.”
“That’s right, I imprinted on her,” Jake said.
I couldn’t stand it anymore, “And I f**king imprinted on Kanie!” Then I got up and ran, ran away… far away from the pack to a place where I can be free from the thoughts.
He imprinted on Kanie? Brady said, his tone happy and light. I wished I was like him again, I wish I had never gown older, grown smarter, grown to see just how sick this twisted world was, and how stupid Jacob Black could be. I wish I never fell in love or imprinted on anyone! No, Kanie meant the world to me. I would give up everything for her... if I didn't freaking let her go for Jacob Black, the worse, butthead leader of our kind.
Why didn’t he tell us since the beginning? It would have changed everything.Sam asked. I shut my eyes but kept running, anticipating the blow. “Seth is stupid, Seth cause all of this, Seth tore our pack apart,” I was prepared for allof it.
He probably would have if Jake wasn’t such a butthead, Paul interjected
No…Leah soft voice interrupted he was just scared… he was scared to admit that only reason he cared for Kanie was because he imprinted on her… but he can’t see himself right now… if he just imprinted on her the feeling would be different… he truly loves her
That’s understandable, Sam said… and I knew I was forgiven by him. God, none of them actually blamed me for being such a coward! But what exactly did Leah mean?
Hey, I love— Quil started.
You love her because of the imprint, it isn’t true love. It will be one day, but not yet, Quil. Don’t be upset and don’t think about it. The point is that you and Seth are different, you will grow to love the person you imprinted on. But at the moment, if the person you imprinted on but don’t truly love dies, life moves on after a while. If the person you love dies… life moves on after an eternity.
Eternity, she had said.
I don't even want to move on without Kanie at all.
Those were the last words I heard, before I was far… very far away. God, I wasn’t even in Forks anymore.
I would be back, of course… back for Leah, for Sam, for Brady, Paul, Embry, the Cullens, and those that stood by my side… but not for a while.
Not while I still have myself to blame for losing the one I love.
♠ ♠ ♠
Consider that the start of Seth-hell *sings*Alright, I'm having unexpected family stuff (not exactly problems) and after tomorrow I will be busy. I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow because I'm going to have to go out for half-day. But I'm just letting all of you know that I definitely AM ALIVE (No, wait, that is unpredictable. I could die in a car accident on my way out tomorrow) and I am NOT quiting this story over my dead body, and I will update ASAP.
So don't go away, cause you guys are what keeps me going on, and one of these day I'm going to write the best story ever and dedicate it to you. <3 :D
Love ya,
<3 Jj (Em) <3