Trust or Kill

~Seth’s Point of View~
“We’ve got to get her out of Forks, La Push, at the least,” Jacob thought to us.
Leah shook her wolf head, “Seth’s just hooked up with her, and you think it would be easy for him?”
My eyes watered. Every time I joined these kinds of discussions, I felt like I was betraying her, betraying her trust.
“Is this true?” Jacob turned to me.
I wined my yes.
“Fine, you’ll have to let her go,” thought he.
I growled, “Never!”
Jacob let out his own warning growl and ran through the list of loyalties and rules we were taught when we first transformed.
Embry appeared in his human form. “What’s with all this growling?” he asked.
We all changed back to our normal selves. Leah was the only one who had to run a few miles before transforming back.
“Jacob still wants to kick Kanie out of here,” I said. How hurt she would be when she finds out, because she still loves him, the jerk, Jacob, I thought.
Hey! Who said I can’t be jealous of my own leader? At least my thoughts were safe in this form.
That was the truth as well; Kanie still loved him. I saw it in her eyes every time she looked at Jake.
It killed me.
I knew she was trying, trying so hard to forget about him, but I also knew it was hard. Especially when she could see all of him and only part of me. That was the problem… if only she could see me. And despite being a werewolf living in a world where nothing is logical—and vampires are vegetarians—and mythical creatures exists, I can’t seem to find any explanation for her behavior at all.
But I know that she loves me a lot too.
Just not as much as Jacob.
F**k him.
“Well, she’s a threat, isn’t she?” He asked, “You know as well as I do that she’s not even serious about you, kid. Wake up.”
“You know what?” I asked him, my anger reaching boiling point, “I don’t need a leader who wants to kill the only girl I love. I can handle things on my own.”
And I walked away… not even sure if I could.
But I was standing on all fours as the thoughts of the rest of the pack became silent… and I knew I had made it. I was a werewolf on my own.

~Kanie’s Point of View~
I couldn’t understand myself. After all this, I still love Jacob. Something was just wrong.
I closed my eyes as tears filled my eyes. How can I be in love with someone so cruel? Someone who actually wants to kill me? How can I be in love with anyone else when the perfect guy was just in front of me?
A teardrop hit my left hand and it suddenly felt like ice… then flame…
My eyes flew open to see a light of flame issuing my hand. But there was no pain… thus no panic.
I restrained myself from screaming and shut my eyes again, hoping that this was just a hallucination.
The flame was still there when I opened my eyes again, except that this time, it stayed less than a second before it transformed into ice. The next second, the ice broke into pieces and shattered to the ground.
My hand was left unharmed.
I didn’t dwell and start questioning the logicality of something like this happening. I knew this was me, and I wasn’t dreaming nor was I hallucinating. I didn’t know how I knew, I just did.
But it was a me I couldn’t accept.
I ran. I grabbed my keys and ran out of the Clearwater’s house as fast as I could, then got on my motorbike and kicked it to life. It was easier than ever, driving at a speed of a hundred miles per hour; I didn’t need to concentrate on anything, I just felt the whole path… felt when to turn and avoid the trees, and when the road was completely clear.
Some thing was what I was turning into, but I needed someone, anyone, to tell me what I am now.
Monster, that’s one thing for sure.
But what?
I wasn’t werewolf, and I wasn’t vampire, then what was I?

An edge came into view. I had actually ridden my bike to the top of the hill.
Whao, a record.
You’re insane, Kanie. You’re turning into a monster and you can still act so human.
Right,I forgot.
Tears came again. I hated it. I hated crying, I hated being so weak.
But you’re alone.
Which was why I found myself sitting with my back to a tree, tears welling down my swollen eyes, and fingers digging into the earth underneath me. Despair had completely washed over me.
I didn’t want to be like them, like the werewolves and vampires. They weren’t human, they were monsters. How could I live with myself, knowing that if I ever lost control for the slightest second, I could kill someone? Especially someone loved…
“You witch, you evil witch! You’re the reason he’s dead! I hate you! I hate you!” she screamed at me as fire burned around us.
“Tami-” I pleaded.
She cut me off, “Don’t call me Tami, witch! A girl like you don’t deserve to have friends!” she started to walk away.
“Tami! I didn’t do anything!” I sobbed, but she was gone… out of my life forever.
That was the first time I ever moved out of somewhere on my own account.
For five years, I had insisted that I did nothing that morning. However, it was all a lie. I did it, it was my fault Sean was dead.
“I can’t wait till we become teenagers,” Sean said.
“Why?” I asked curiously.
“Because by then, we’ll understand more about love and I can finally assure you that I love you,” he said with a grin.
I blushed then hit his shoulder. We laughed and started a game of chase.
A new set of tears filled my eyes. I dug deeper into the ground until my fingernails hurt.
I couldn’t care less if I lost them.
But something else did.
As the big dog I had befriended approached me, my tears had came lose again and my vision blurred. All I knew was that I reached out and hugged the animal and let its warmth comfort me.
I didn’t deserve to live… that was all I knew.