Status: I wrote this story many years ago, but I am updating it- making the writing better and adding details that it needs (plot won't change or anything)
Unshed Tears
Problem Number 32
Finally I could breathe again, but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. By now, I knew the make-up Susie had been so insistence on putting on me was smeared and running, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Wind rustled my dark hair and creased my pale skin, sending shivers down my spine. Running my hands over the smooth material of my aqua dress, I took deep breaths, trying to find some type of comfort.
Tonight was supposed to be fun. Tonight I was supposed to dance and laugh. My boyfriend was supposed to be amazing, and was supposed to hold me as we swayed to sappy slow songs. So, why was I sitting out side crying my heart out? Why was I falling apart, and why was I freaking out when all year I managed to stay composed and focused?
I let information settle in on me. I’d learned Jake wasn’t perfect. I’d learned we all had secrets. I’d learned I had a lot to learn about people. I had shut myself out for so long that I had lost touch with what was real.
Then I started comparing Jake with Jace, and I knew that was wrong and stupid. Yet I was sitting there thinking ‘Would Jace have told me?’ and ‘Would I have freaked out this much if it were Jace instead of Jake?’
Some one sat beside me. An arm wrapped around my shoulders and I leaned my head down, spilling messy, tangled hair over my wet face. At the same time, I closed my eyes and begun to cry more. We sat like that until I was exhausted and the tears would come no longer flow. I wiped my face, rubbing my eyes on the heels of my hands; then I tilted my ugly visage up and tried to smile as I looked at his pallor.
Jake’s brown eyes were half alive as they gazed down on me, semi hidden behind his veil of now messy, lose, black hair. The corners of his light lips twitched as he tried to be happy for my sake, but he had no more luck with it then I myself did.
“Thank you,” I whispered, afraid of what my voice might sound like.
He looked puzzled, and then he pulled his gaze away. “I’ve done nothing for you May.”
“But you have,” I said, turning around in his arms and cupping his face. “You have been sweet and gentlemanly, and you’ve put up with me. You’ve…you’ve told me the truth, and that’s more then most.” Unlike me who’s been lying to you almost since the beginning, I added silently. Dropping my hands into my lap, I diverted my eyes just as he turned back to look at me. I want this relationship to work out so much, it didn’t matter who was lying to whom anymore.
There was uncomfortable silence that seemed to ring in the night air and echoed in my ears. We sat side by side, his arm curled around me as we both looked away. The door opened, and couples stumbled out drunkenly. Groups of friends burst out into the night, laughing, and we just sat there, unspeaking.
Tonight was supposed to be fun. Tonight I was supposed to dance and laugh. My boyfriend was supposed to be amazing, and was supposed to hold me as we swayed to sappy slow songs. So, why was I sitting out side crying my heart out? Why was I falling apart, and why was I freaking out when all year I managed to stay composed and focused?
I let information settle in on me. I’d learned Jake wasn’t perfect. I’d learned we all had secrets. I’d learned I had a lot to learn about people. I had shut myself out for so long that I had lost touch with what was real.
Then I started comparing Jake with Jace, and I knew that was wrong and stupid. Yet I was sitting there thinking ‘Would Jace have told me?’ and ‘Would I have freaked out this much if it were Jace instead of Jake?’
Some one sat beside me. An arm wrapped around my shoulders and I leaned my head down, spilling messy, tangled hair over my wet face. At the same time, I closed my eyes and begun to cry more. We sat like that until I was exhausted and the tears would come no longer flow. I wiped my face, rubbing my eyes on the heels of my hands; then I tilted my ugly visage up and tried to smile as I looked at his pallor.
Jake’s brown eyes were half alive as they gazed down on me, semi hidden behind his veil of now messy, lose, black hair. The corners of his light lips twitched as he tried to be happy for my sake, but he had no more luck with it then I myself did.
“Thank you,” I whispered, afraid of what my voice might sound like.
He looked puzzled, and then he pulled his gaze away. “I’ve done nothing for you May.”
“But you have,” I said, turning around in his arms and cupping his face. “You have been sweet and gentlemanly, and you’ve put up with me. You’ve…you’ve told me the truth, and that’s more then most.” Unlike me who’s been lying to you almost since the beginning, I added silently. Dropping my hands into my lap, I diverted my eyes just as he turned back to look at me. I want this relationship to work out so much, it didn’t matter who was lying to whom anymore.
There was uncomfortable silence that seemed to ring in the night air and echoed in my ears. We sat side by side, his arm curled around me as we both looked away. The door opened, and couples stumbled out drunkenly. Groups of friends burst out into the night, laughing, and we just sat there, unspeaking.
♠ ♠ ♠
comments? what do you think?<3 Megan