It's Not the End

The competition was over and Kris had already won American Idol. But in the end Adam felt that he also won. He won the heart of Kris Allen throughout the entire competition and it seemed like nothing could get in the way of their happiness. Or at least that’s what they though.

They were packing their things before they were to leave the hotel and part ways. This pain inside of Adam hurt him at the thought of not seeing Kris everyday anymore. The thought of not seeing his winning smile come through his door made him stop what he was doing. For a moment he stood in front of the dresser where he was packing his things and just stopped. But a knocking on his door disrupted his thoughts and so he headed to the door twisting the door knob and opened it seeing Kris his perfect smile. He smiled back because that’s what he always did when he saw him smile. It was like there was an automatic switch inside of Adam that made him smile at the sight of seeing Kris happy.
“Hey Kris,” he greeted heading back to the dresser to finish packing his things. Kris just smiled as he sat down at the edge of Adam’s bed and switched on the T.V.

“So are you done packing?” Adam asked folding the last few articles of clothing inside the dresser.

“Yeah pretty much since you know, I didn’t pack my entire closet,” Kris laughed talking about how much clothes Adam had packed with him.

“Oh haha,” Adam said giving him a sarcastic tone with a none sarcastic smile.

It amazing how much they acted like nothing was wrong. How they acted like they’ve never kissed before. Like they were just good buddies and nothing more. How they act so oblivious when they have interviews together. And how they fool America one interview at a time. “No it’s like that,” Adam would start. “We’re great friends and that’s all,” Kris would say as he finished what Adam started. America is fooled again and Adam feels a little hurt because he knew for a fact that they were more than ‘just friends.’

And it was sad to say that Kris’s wife seemed to only be a cover up to them. Yet she had no clue either. So it meant that Adam wasn't the only hurt. There was almost a greater pain inside of Kris than there was in Adam because Adam knew that he had no one to lose. Every kiss he gave his wife, he felt guilt. Guilt in what he never told his high school sweetheart. No one would ever find out because his Katy made it look like he was completely straight. And a conventional kiss in front of the camera got them fooled even more.

He’s got almost the entire world fooled. He’s got them thinking he’s not cheating on his wife with Adam Lambert . And Adam’s come to understand the fact that Kris can’t leave his wife because he doesn’t want to answer the unfaithful question: Why. And though it may not seem like it, but he’s put deep thought onto what he would say if she did ask him the question. And definitely his answer to her wouldn’t be, “Because you know that this marriage was doomed from the start.” That’s probably the worst excuse ever because it wasn’t doomed.

And as long as you can remember being together it didn’t seemed doomed. Everything was just fine. I mean, that was until he met Adam Lambert. So Kris thought of what else he could answer. And he came up with, “I’m ending it because we all know that we’ve been having some problems.” That wasn’t going to work also because for one, how could there be problems? The only problem was that Kris was never there. So obviously he can’t say that. So in the end he thought that he would rather keep secrets than tell her the entire truth. No matter how unfaithful that sounded, it felt like the only right thing to do. So Kris was lucky that Adam was understanding.

And they both remembered as long as they stayed in the Idol Mansion that their room was the only safe zone for them to kiss. Because they couldn’t be too close in the living room cause Allison could come in anytime to watch T.V. so the living room was out of the list. And they couldn’t do anything in the kitchen because that’s where everyone usually was . And as much as Adam wanted to kiss in the pool it just wasn’t possible cause someone was usually outside even if it wasn’t someone who stayed at the mansion. But still even there wasn’t anyone there, you never know whose looking outside the window. So it made their room their safe zone; their sanctuary.

“You know I really will miss you,” Kris said suddenly from his bed. Adam turned around and said, “I will too.”

“Arkansas isn’t that far from California, is it?” the worried 23-year-old asked.

“I really hope not,” Adam replied with almost the same worried tone. As much as both of them tried to stay strong, inside they were both terribly scared to leave each other. Kris stood up from the bed, headed to Adam and held out his hand. “It was a pleasure singing with you,” Kris said smiling at him, hiding the pain beneath his smile.

Adam could see right through the smile and he felt his pain. He shook his hand feeling it as a little awkward knowing that they always hugged. Then they both just stood there for almost half a minute unsure what would come next, both of their hands still in each others. Adam didn’t want this to end in an awkward silence so he unexpectedly pulled Kris to him making their lips connect, their fingers entwining together. The meaningfulness in the kiss only meant that they’d miss each other terribly. Then their kiss turned into a hug as Kris buried is face into Adam’s neck, taking in his scent. The scent that swarmed his bed sheets, the scent that was oh so, familiar to him.

Each time he hugged Adam, he couldn’t have felt more safe. Each time he hugged him, he knew that he didn’t want to let go. And this time Kris didn’t want to let go more than ever.

The tight embrace couldn’t have felt better till he felt a slight wetness on his neck. He pulled away seeing Kris’s head down, not wanting Adam to see him. It was obvious that he was crying.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked placing both hands on Kris’s shoulders.

“I’m just scared that I might not see you in a long time and that you might forget about me and fall inlove with someone else,” he said softly wiping his tears away. Never in his life has Adam heard Kris talk like that. And hearing him talk like that just made him love him even more.

“Oh baby, no! That would never happen! I would never even dream of leaving you!” he immediately told Kris, giving him a kiss on his forehead. He wiped away Kris’s tears with his thumb, trying to hold back his own with a smile. “Baby, I don’t want you to worry cause whatever you do, you’re stuck with me,” he smiled trying to make Kris smile too. He gave a small smile feeling a lot better after what Adam said. He pulled Kris into another tight embrace cause no matter how Adam tried to stay strong he was almost as worried and terrified as Kris was. So he let a small tear roll down his face, not being able to hold one tear in him anymore. He let go of the embrace, letting another tear roll down his cheeks. Kris immediately saw his tears and wiped them away with a smile, happy to know that Adam felt the same.

“At least I’m not the only one,” he said wiping away another tear from Adam’s face.

“You never were,” Adam said shaking his head, taking a hold of his Kris’s wrists as he placed his hands on Adam’s cheeks and pulled him into another tender and passionate kiss and for once they both wished that it would last forever.

Kris pulled away knowing that this time he had something meaningful to say. “This isn’t the end, I promise.”

“I know,” he said softly looking right into his eyes.

“Were still going on tour and that’s gonna take couple of months, isn’t it?” Kris told him getting excited at the fact that he gets to go all over America with Adam by his side. “And after that?” Adam asked suddenly still a little bit worried.

Kris stopped for a moment, then placed his hands on Adam’s face and pulled him down so their foreheads touch. Then Kris closed his eyes, “And after that,” he started. “We’re going to make it big and we wont lose our touch. And even if were apart for ages, we’ll still have each other cause you’re always gonna be in my heart and I know that I’m in yours. And as long as you have me, and I have you, nothing can hurt us.”

Adam smiled hearing every word that Kris said. It seemed like the best thing he ever said to Adam next to ‘I love you.’ Kris opened his eyes and looked at Adam with a smile on his face and kissed him again, meaning everything is going to be okay. They both pulled away, tears in both of their eyes. And because of that both of them knew from then on that everything was going to be okay.