Status: This story is dead, man. Deaaad.
Star Wars + Knight Rider = Star Rider
Two Words: Little Lukey
"Oh yes! YES!" Luke moaned, rubbing K.I.T.T.'s stick shift. He's never been so turned on before in his life. K.I.T.T. had that knew car smell, Luke's favorite scent. K.I.T.T. moaned in response to the fondling. There was soft, romantic music coming from the Knight Rider car's radio. Things soon got even sexier. Luke whispered sweet nothings to K.I.T.T., like, "Yeah, baby! I'll change those tires!" and "Let me take a look under that hood!"
Luke awoke in, what it seems to be, a hospital. "Ughhhhh", he groaned. Wow.. so it was a dream?, he thought to himself. Yeah. The K.I.T.T./Luke love fest was a dream, all right. But it felt so real. . . WHAT is wrong with me!? he asked himself. I love Leia, not K.I.T.T. How could I be in love with transportation anyhow? He was so confused. . . and not just about his sexuality. What would you call "vehicle" love anyway? Transporsexuality? Was Luke a Transporsexual!?
But, Luke loved women! Why was K.I.T.T. suddenly all he could think about? He should be thinking about his injuries. Especially after K.I.T.T. owned him with his wheels, he shouldn't be thinking about him like that. "The way he drives. . ." Luke gushed quietly to himself. Wha. Duh. Fu'?!
He began day dreaming about his dream when Chewbacca and C-3PO walked in. "Maauuuuurrrrgh" Chewbacca groaned. Luke knew he felt sad to see him hurt like this. "It's okay, 'bacca, I feel all right." Luke said, reassuringly. "What happened?" he asked C-3PO. "Well, you were pretty effed up there, Luke. We had to do immediate surgery. We.. couldn't fix you, Luke. I'm sorry, but. . you lost a few body parts." C-3PO looked down, not wanting to stare. "A.. a ff-few?" Luke stammered, wide-eyed. Oh.. no., he thought. I hope I didn't lose Little Lukey!. Yeah. That's right. Luke named his anatomy Little Lukey. Go ahead, say it. I'll say it with you. WHA. DUH. FU'!?
"You lost your right arm, left leg, your left pinky, left ear and. . and. . your. . manhood." C-3PO whispered the last part. He cringed for all three of them. "Oh. No. Nooooooooooo!!!" Luke cried out in slow-motion. Chewbacca and C-3PO glanced at each other. "Nooooooooooooo!!" Luke's slow-mo "no" cry wouldn't cease. C-3PO tried to say something, but Luke wouldn't shut up. He looked at Chewbacca and nodded. They decided to leave.
As C-3PO and Chewbacca walked down the hall of the cold, lonely hospital, they could still hear Luke. Chewbacca groaned again. "Don't you start that!" shrieked C-3PO, making Chewbacca jump. "Sorry, 'bacca", he apologized. Chewbacca frowned. "We have to help Luke! We need to find a way to get him new parts! Especially his manhood part." C-3PO pondered and pondered. "I know! I have a lot of metal that I've been saving just incase I get myself screwed up." Chewbacca stared at C-3PO, confused. "You know, like the time I tried to breakdance and got stuck?" Chewbacca laughed, remembering. "My right leg was wrapped around my neck and couldn't get unstuck. Leia had to rip it right off me! I made a new arm out of the metal I saved. I can do the same for Luke! I just hope I have enough. . ."
C-3PO, worried, wasn't sure if he could replace all of Luke's missing body parts. "Whatever happens, I will replace his manhood part! No man should live without one. Especially if he was a virgin!" Ahh. If only he knew.
Chewbacca looked at him innocently, "virrraahnmmin?" he asked, trying to pronounce the word. Poor 'bacca. So innocent, so naive, didn't know what a virgin was, let alone sex. "Oh. Aha!" C-3PO understood what 'bacca was trying to say. "Chewbacca, it is now time for me to tell you about, what humans refer to as, 'the birds and the bees'" Oh good gracious. "Whaahhhmmm?" 'bacca asked, confused more than ever. "It is time for me, my friend, to tell you all about sex."
Damn right. You damn right!
Luke awoke in, what it seems to be, a hospital. "Ughhhhh", he groaned. Wow.. so it was a dream?, he thought to himself. Yeah. The K.I.T.T./Luke love fest was a dream, all right. But it felt so real. . . WHAT is wrong with me!? he asked himself. I love Leia, not K.I.T.T. How could I be in love with transportation anyhow? He was so confused. . . and not just about his sexuality. What would you call "vehicle" love anyway? Transporsexuality? Was Luke a Transporsexual!?
But, Luke loved women! Why was K.I.T.T. suddenly all he could think about? He should be thinking about his injuries. Especially after K.I.T.T. owned him with his wheels, he shouldn't be thinking about him like that. "The way he drives. . ." Luke gushed quietly to himself. Wha. Duh. Fu'?!
He began day dreaming about his dream when Chewbacca and C-3PO walked in. "Maauuuuurrrrgh" Chewbacca groaned. Luke knew he felt sad to see him hurt like this. "It's okay, 'bacca, I feel all right." Luke said, reassuringly. "What happened?" he asked C-3PO. "Well, you were pretty effed up there, Luke. We had to do immediate surgery. We.. couldn't fix you, Luke. I'm sorry, but. . you lost a few body parts." C-3PO looked down, not wanting to stare. "A.. a ff-few?" Luke stammered, wide-eyed. Oh.. no., he thought. I hope I didn't lose Little Lukey!. Yeah. That's right. Luke named his anatomy Little Lukey. Go ahead, say it. I'll say it with you. WHA. DUH. FU'!?
"You lost your right arm, left leg, your left pinky, left ear and. . and. . your. . manhood." C-3PO whispered the last part. He cringed for all three of them. "Oh. No. Nooooooooooo!!!" Luke cried out in slow-motion. Chewbacca and C-3PO glanced at each other. "Nooooooooooooo!!" Luke's slow-mo "no" cry wouldn't cease. C-3PO tried to say something, but Luke wouldn't shut up. He looked at Chewbacca and nodded. They decided to leave.
As C-3PO and Chewbacca walked down the hall of the cold, lonely hospital, they could still hear Luke. Chewbacca groaned again. "Don't you start that!" shrieked C-3PO, making Chewbacca jump. "Sorry, 'bacca", he apologized. Chewbacca frowned. "We have to help Luke! We need to find a way to get him new parts! Especially his manhood part." C-3PO pondered and pondered. "I know! I have a lot of metal that I've been saving just incase I get myself screwed up." Chewbacca stared at C-3PO, confused. "You know, like the time I tried to breakdance and got stuck?" Chewbacca laughed, remembering. "My right leg was wrapped around my neck and couldn't get unstuck. Leia had to rip it right off me! I made a new arm out of the metal I saved. I can do the same for Luke! I just hope I have enough. . ."
C-3PO, worried, wasn't sure if he could replace all of Luke's missing body parts. "Whatever happens, I will replace his manhood part! No man should live without one. Especially if he was a virgin!" Ahh. If only he knew.
Chewbacca looked at him innocently, "virrraahnmmin?" he asked, trying to pronounce the word. Poor 'bacca. So innocent, so naive, didn't know what a virgin was, let alone sex. "Oh. Aha!" C-3PO understood what 'bacca was trying to say. "Chewbacca, it is now time for me to tell you about, what humans refer to as, 'the birds and the bees'" Oh good gracious. "Whaahhhmmm?" 'bacca asked, confused more than ever. "It is time for me, my friend, to tell you all about sex."
Damn right. You damn right!