Fall Away
My Own Mistakes
“I don’t like it, Ellie.”
“Dan, I’ll be fine,” I replied exasperatedly. “He’s just a guy, okay? I’ve talked to him a couple times at the bar. It’s no big deal.”
“And somehow, through all your ‘talks’ he managed to ask you out?”
“It’s not like that.” I was trying to stay patient with my brother, but it was hard. We’d been having the same conversation for the past five minutes. “He didn’t mean it like a date, Dan. He just wanted to talk some more.”
Daniel mumbled something under his breath, and I didn’t even try to understand him. I had a feeling I knew what he was going on about.
“Besides, weren’t you the one who told me I needed to get a social life? That I worked too hard? That I should make some friends?”
“I meant some girl friends! Not random men you meet at a bar.”
I was beginning to regret ever mentioning Soren to my older brother. Luckily, I’d had the sense to not bring my thoughts about Kirian into the discussion. “He’s not random,” I explained, feeling like I was trying to talk to a small child. “He’s basically a regular now. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is to me. I don’t like him, Ellie.”
“You’ve never even met him.”
“He – he sounds sketchy.”
“Just give it up, Dan,” I sighed. “You can’t decide to become over-protective big brother just because a boy is starting to show friendly interest in me.”
“Yes, I-”
"You have to let me make my own mistakes. You can't protect me forever."
"Yes I ca-"
“Besides, I’d tell you if there was anything going on,” I continued, cutting him off. “There isn't. He’s just a nice guy. I haven’t met one of those in a long time.”
Danny was silent. “Are you sure-”
“Yes,” I interrupted. “I’m positive.”
“You didn’t even let me finish my question.”
“I know.”
Daniel sighed. “Is that supposed to be a hint?”
“Yes,” I repeated.
“Okay.” I could tell he really was trying not to argue with me. “Just… be careful, okay?”
“You know I will be.”
We made idle conversation for a few more minutes before saying our goodbyes. I let out a sigh as I hung up the phone. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him. I knew he was just going to worry, no matter how much I assured him I could take care of myself. To him, I would always be the baby sister.
I shook my head. I had just wanted someone to talk to. I had wanted someone to help me… evaluate Soren’s words, and my meeting with his brother. I had wanted…. a girl friend.
I hadn’t wanted one of those in a long time. I used to have some, when I was younger. But that was back in the days when you had five best friends and boys had cooties. As we grew older, girls branched off into smaller groups of two’s and three’s, and I found myself without the clique that seemed so vital in middle school.
I wasn’t an outcast, or even a loner. I was more of a… floater. I got along with most people, and I wandered between the groups at will. Still, I never totally fit in anywhere. And that was all before…
Anyways. That was a long time ago. These days, the closest thing I had to a girl friend was Diana, the girl who worked the same shift as me at Amor. And I wasn’t going to confide in her. I guess I’d have to make the best of my brother.
I sighed deeply and pulled out one of my textbooks. It was going to be a long night.
“Dan, I’ll be fine,” I replied exasperatedly. “He’s just a guy, okay? I’ve talked to him a couple times at the bar. It’s no big deal.”
“And somehow, through all your ‘talks’ he managed to ask you out?”
“It’s not like that.” I was trying to stay patient with my brother, but it was hard. We’d been having the same conversation for the past five minutes. “He didn’t mean it like a date, Dan. He just wanted to talk some more.”
Daniel mumbled something under his breath, and I didn’t even try to understand him. I had a feeling I knew what he was going on about.
“Besides, weren’t you the one who told me I needed to get a social life? That I worked too hard? That I should make some friends?”
“I meant some girl friends! Not random men you meet at a bar.”
I was beginning to regret ever mentioning Soren to my older brother. Luckily, I’d had the sense to not bring my thoughts about Kirian into the discussion. “He’s not random,” I explained, feeling like I was trying to talk to a small child. “He’s basically a regular now. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is to me. I don’t like him, Ellie.”
“You’ve never even met him.”
“He – he sounds sketchy.”
“Just give it up, Dan,” I sighed. “You can’t decide to become over-protective big brother just because a boy is starting to show friendly interest in me.”
“Yes, I-”
"You have to let me make my own mistakes. You can't protect me forever."
"Yes I ca-"
“Besides, I’d tell you if there was anything going on,” I continued, cutting him off. “There isn't. He’s just a nice guy. I haven’t met one of those in a long time.”
Danny was silent. “Are you sure-”
“Yes,” I interrupted. “I’m positive.”
“You didn’t even let me finish my question.”
“I know.”
Daniel sighed. “Is that supposed to be a hint?”
“Yes,” I repeated.
“Okay.” I could tell he really was trying not to argue with me. “Just… be careful, okay?”
“You know I will be.”
We made idle conversation for a few more minutes before saying our goodbyes. I let out a sigh as I hung up the phone. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him. I knew he was just going to worry, no matter how much I assured him I could take care of myself. To him, I would always be the baby sister.
I shook my head. I had just wanted someone to talk to. I had wanted someone to help me… evaluate Soren’s words, and my meeting with his brother. I had wanted…. a girl friend.
I hadn’t wanted one of those in a long time. I used to have some, when I was younger. But that was back in the days when you had five best friends and boys had cooties. As we grew older, girls branched off into smaller groups of two’s and three’s, and I found myself without the clique that seemed so vital in middle school.
I wasn’t an outcast, or even a loner. I was more of a… floater. I got along with most people, and I wandered between the groups at will. Still, I never totally fit in anywhere. And that was all before…
Anyways. That was a long time ago. These days, the closest thing I had to a girl friend was Diana, the girl who worked the same shift as me at Amor. And I wasn’t going to confide in her. I guess I’d have to make the best of my brother.
I sighed deeply and pulled out one of my textbooks. It was going to be a long night.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sooooo.I have gotten into the habit of writing at midnight. Which for some reason works really well, but is making me insanely tired. For obvious reasons.