Fall Away

For a moment, I froze. He had managed to shock me into silence for the second time in about thirty seconds. But then again, there was no way I could have predicted this.

My body relaxed as his lips moved against mine. Something about this felt right. None of my past boyfriends had given me the warm feeling you always read about in cheap romance novels, yet this stranger was sending heat through my whole body with just-

Wait. I pushed myself away from him, shaking my head. I moved over on the couch to put some space between us, slightly dazed. “Why did you do that?” I finally asked.

Kirian just shrugged. “I don’t really know.”

Wrong answer. “So it didn’t mean anything? Was it just a pity kiss?”

My voice was harsh, but I needed to cover up the pain coursing through me. Of course, it wouldn’t mean anything to him. He probably had girls at his beck and call, being the tall, dark stranger type that seemed so popular these days.

“No,” he protested. “Why would you even think that?”

I shrugged. “You’re sorry you somehow know that my brother’s going to die and you think if you kiss me it’ll make me feel better.”

The words sounded insane, even to my own ears. Kirian was shaking his head before I was anywhere close to the end of the sentence. “I wouldn’t do that, Ellie.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Really?”

His face got hard, and for a second I was scared I had pushed him too far. After all, I still didn’t know him. I had no idea what he was capable of. But instead of yelling at me, he pushed himself angrily away from the couch and resumed his pacing.

“Whatever you seem to think of me, Ellie, you’re wrong,” he snapped. “I don’t make a habit of kissing girls. I can’t remember the last time I felt so strongly about-”

He stopped and regrouped, trying a different approach. “I take life. I don’t bring it. I’m not supposed to get attached to people, especially not people as bright as you-”

He stopped again, cursing under his breath. “See, this is why I don’t try to talk!” he cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “I don’t know what to say to make you believe that, to me, you’re more than just a girl, much more than a pity kiss.”

He had done it again. I didn’t know what to say as I sat on the catch, his words replaying in my brain over and over. The fragmented sentences, his final outburst. It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t possible. So why was it that these days, the impossible seemed to be the truth?

“What do you mean, you take life?” I finally asked.

Kirian’s hands dropped from his hair. “After everything I just said – that’s what you decide to say?”

I nodded silently, unable to look him in the eyes. I didn’t deal well with confrontations. I never knew how to react, what the right response was. I always asked the wrong questions, but I was never sure what the right ones were.

“It’s just – nothing, it’s not important.”

“Come on, Kirian,” I sighed. “After all the information you – your brother has dumped on me in the past 24 hours, do you really think one more thing is going to throw me overboard?”

He mumbled words under his breath, and I couldn’t help wondering if he was beginning to regret coming here. I doubted things were going as he expected – they sure weren’t what I expected.

I gave him a few more minutes, but when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to say anything important I spoke up. “Does it have anything to do with Peter Yikan?”

Kirian winced. “How… how do you know about him?”

I motioned towards the paper. “There’s an article in there. And Soren mentioned something yesterday.”

He began to say more words, and the ones I could make out where not-so-nice comments about his brother. “Kirian, why don’t you just tell me what’s going on?” I finally cried in exasperation.

He stopped and looked at me. “You don’t want to know.”

“I do!” I protested. I waited a moment before saying, just loud enough for him to hear, “I bet Soren would’ve told me.”

His face paled. “Yes, I bet he would have,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. For some reason, the quiet calm scared me more than his yelling would have. “Soren’s the perfect brother, the happy, cheerful, lovable one, isn’t he? I’m just a shadow in comparison. God forbid I don’t share all my secrets with you.”

I shook my head. “That’s not what I meant-”

“You were thinking it,” Kirian snapped. “Don’t try to lie to me, Ellie. Everyone likes him better. You’re no different. And honestly, I can’t even blame you.”

He shook his head against my protests. “I should have known. I’m sorry I came here. It was obviously a waste of both our time.”

And with that, he turned and headed towards the door.