Fall Away

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I asked.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he replied. It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement that immediately made me feel guilty.

I shrugged, unable to come up with any kind of defense. “You’ve been sick.”

He met my eyes levelly. “Did Soren tell you why?”

I nodded, looking away from him. I was forcing myself to not thin, not consider the consequences, the possible ways he could be standing here talking to me.

“And you didn’t want to talk to me?” he said in disbelief.

I shrugged. “I didn’t care.” My voice was unconvincing and I knew he would buy it. I couldn’t lie worth a damn.

“You didn’t think that maybe, maybe I was doing it for you? Maybe I wanted to you to be there?” he continued.

“Be there to watch you kill yourself?” I snapped. “Excuse me if I pass.”

"I thought you didn’t care.”

I opened my mouth, then shut it again. Kirian’s eyes were glinting – he knew he had trapped me with my own words. I shook my head, turning away from him.

“Why are you doing this?” Kirian asked quietly. “Why are you pushing me away?”

I bit my lip, not replying. I couldn’t tell him about my deal with Soren. I could hear Kirian moving towards me, and when he spoke again his voice was right behind me. “What did Soren promise you?”

I jerked away from him, realizing a moment to late that my movements had given it away.

“He did, didn’t he,” Kirian cried. “Goddamit!”

I stood quietly as he paced. “The bastard made a deal with you.”

“He – he didn’t,” I tried, but my voice was weak.

“Don’t lie to me, Eliana!” he snapped. “You’ve done enough damage.”

“I’ve done enough damage?” I shot back. “All I did was not talk to you.”

“I killed someone for you,” Kirian cried. “I got off my high horse and let someone else die because I was worried about you!”

“I didn’t ask you to,” I replied. “I didn’t ask you to be… what you are.”

Hurt spread across his face and I felt a twinge of regret. Still, I couldn’t let myself apologize.

“What did he promise you?” Kirian asked again. “Whatever it is, I can do it too. I’ll – I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want. I can – save Daniel, ignore the list.”

“But you’ll screw up the balance,” I whispered. “You can’t just… do that.”

“Is that what he said?” Kirian asked. ‘He agreed to save Danny without screwing things up?”

“What makes you think I needed to give her anything?”

I glanced around, startled, to see Soren lounging in the doorway. He was watching his brother, a acalm expression on his face, but I could see a hint of pain in his eyes.

“Because – because Ellie wouldn’t do that to me.” He glanced at me quickly. ‘Right?”

I couldn’t reply. I kept my mouth shut, staring at the ground. “Maybe she just chose me over you,” Soren said softly.

Kirian glared at him. “Why would she? You’re a flirt. I’m the one who actually cares – who wants to-”

He snapped his mouth shut as he met my gaze. I pushed against the pain I felt, an echo of the hurt I saw in his eyes. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Kirian and Soren were supposed to stay together. I was supposed to be the one kicked out. They couldn’t be fighting right now. But they were, facing each other and shooting death glares with their eyes.

“She just doesn’t want her brother to die,” Soren said. “Just like me.”

“Well, one of you is out of luck,” Kirian snapped. “You can’t have it both ways.”

“I’m going to try.”

“You’re being stupid,” Kirian cried, stepping closer so they were face to face.

“No, you’re being stupid enough for both of us,” Soren shot back.

I glanced between the two and instinctively knew what was going to happen. I stood up and pushed between the two of them, causing Kirian to lose his balance. Instead of hitting his brothers face, his hand fell on my shoulder.

Kirian froze. “I’m sorry, Ellie,” he whispered, staring at my shoulder as if he had left a mark.

I brushed away his words. “You two need to stop,” I ordered.

“He’s being an idiot,” Kirian protested.

“You both are,” I interrupted. “You’re brothers. That’s more important than me and Danny.”

The two stared at each other. I held my breath, anxious to see what was going to happen. Finally, Soren sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just don’t understand why you’re hurting yourself.”

Kirian nodded, and I figured it was a start that he was acknowledging Soren without yelling.

“Good. Now go,” I ordered, pointing at the door.

“What?” Kirian looked at me startledly. “I’m not leaving.”

“Yes, you are,” I said firmly. “You two go home and figure your crap out. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I swear to God, Ellie, if you start ignoring me again…”

“Yeah yeah.” I brushed away his words as I steered both the boys towards the door. “Bye.”

I shut the door firmly, not allowing myself a second glance. The less time I spent with them, the better.