I Just Need to Find a Place

Ryan flinches. He cries at night when no one is around. Only, someone is around. That someone would be Brendon. Brendon watches Ryan. He watches the tears that stream down Ryan's cheeks and face. He hears the whines and sobs that emit from Ryan's small, perfect mouth. He wishes he could take Ryan into his arms and just hold him all through the night. But reality strikes him and he knows that would be impossible. What would Jon think? What would Spencer say? What about the fans? He let the thought slip.

Morning comes and it's the same thing as everyday. Except, something is different. Ryan is gone. Brendon doesn't know where he's went and he's worried. Ryan is way too fragile to be alone. Brendon curses under his breath and strands up, searching the large house for the one called Ryan.

A large gasp from Brendon and Ryan swirls around. Fresh tears are dripping onto the floor and Ryan lips are quivering.

"You said I wouldn't do it."

Brendon is frozen in place. He looks at the machine placed to Ryan's head.

"Ryan, where did you get that gun?"

"Why do you care?" His words are harsh and they sting Brendon.

Brendon can hear the revolver click and he wants to just run away, but he can't.

"Ryan, please don't!" And now he's sobbing.

Ryan is shocked.

"B-brendon? Why are you crying?"

"I love you. I love you so fucking much! P-please." He's trembling.

Ryan looks away.

Brendon leaps and tackles Ryan, grabbing the gun from his hands.

It scatters to the floor and slides away.

Ryan is fighting Brendon's grasp and he's sobbing hard. He's mad at Brendon, but it feels so good to be against him this way.

He stops and holds onto Brendon, breathing heavily. His shoulders are shaking and all Brendon can do is take in Ryan's smell.

They stay like that for awhile. And it gets dark.

Ryan finally found his place.