Take This To Heart

James looked around her room. It was clean, her bed was the only thing that looked out of place. The covers were rumpled and thrown aside. Her pajamas were on the floor and he assumed she would have to change back into them.

"I can uhm, leave the room if you want to change back into your pajamas." James coughed. He had a feeling that Scarlett would want privacy.

"No, it's okay. I don't plan on changing back into them." Scarlett said and settled down onto her bed. She was leaning against the wall it was beside. James shyly joined her. He wasn't sure if that's what she wanted.

"Am I actually making the infamous James Wright nervous?" Scarlett laughed jokingly and cuddled in closer to him. He put his arm around her and finally felt at home.

"Of course not. I don't get nervous." James laughed and nuzzled his face lovingly into her neck.

James looked down at Scarlett as she rested her head on his chest. Her blond hair shone in the light. It smelt like shampoo and perfume. She was perfect, even if she tended to be a total brainiac and she was of a good girl, but that was okay. She was perfect in her imperfection. Her head was heavy on his chest, but it felt good. As if someone in this world actually needed him, as if he was actually sort of important to someone in this world. He watched her as her breathing slowed and became more rhythmic, as sleep enveloped her.

James found himself wishing that sleep would take over his body, soothe his pains, ease his mind of the torturous thoughts. He would never admit it, but before that night he had had faith left in his father. He had never hated him, never truly wanted him gone until that night. He had hoped that when he was older, when he was a mature adult, that his father would love him again. That maybe he could be loved by his father, he had dreamed of his fathers approval one day, but now that dream was lost. His father would never love him, never respect him. In turn, James would never love or respect his father either. The relationship's thin ties had finally been severed.

***

James felt a tickle under his chin when he woke up. The sun hadn't yet begun to shine. He looked down and saw Scarlett's head nestled under his neck. She was curled around him. She looked beautiful when she was sleeping. Her long eyelashes made her eyes look angelic and her mouth was just open a crack, she looked perfect.

He looked over at the clock on her bedside table. It was only four in the morning, he had slept for a half hour.

Scarlett's room was bathed in soft moonlight. James stroked her hair and felt her stir and look up at him groggily. Her blue eyes were clouded with sleep, but when he registered in her vision they smiled.

"Hey. How are you? Are you feeling better?" She asked and sat up so her head rested on his shoulder. James felt a wave of pleasure rush through him. He had never longed for a closeness like this until she had come into his life.

"Yeah. I've been better but with you here I'm thinking a lot more clearly." James smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

"Don't worry about your dad anymore. He isn't worth it, besides, it's his life he's ruining." Scarlett smiled and traced circles on his chest. It was a nice sensation.

"You're probably right." James sighed and felt kind of surprised with himself.

He had never been known to give in so easily, it defied his nature. Giving in was always a weakness to him, but maybe it was okay for him to show his weaknesses to Scarlett, if anyone would understand it would be her. She showed her weaknesses to him, so why shouldn't he show her his?

"Thank you." Scarlett smiled and gave his lips a light peck. James smiled and kissed her again, but then he realized he should probably clear out of Scarlett's room before her parents woke up and caught them in there together.

"I should get going. I'll see you later today?" James whispered softly in her ear. Her hair tickled his cheek.

"I hope so. Call me, I'll miss you." Scarlett laughed and caught his lips with hers.

This kiss wasn't like the others to James. For all of the other kisses he had been happy and carefree, but this one was full of his pain and anger, and that only intensified it. Instead of being blissfully unaware of the world around him, he was hyper aware.

When it ended he kissed her once more on the forehead and quietly left her house through the window. Scarlett's room was on the second floor, but the jump down wasn't too far, he managed to land in a pretty stable crouch.

The dusk was lifting slightly as he walked slowly to his house. Would his mother be sleeping with his father? She was completely oblivious to the fact that she wasn't the only woman in his life. James could never imagine doing that to Scarlett and they weren't even married. Just the thought of cheating on her gave him the shivers, and the thought of her cheating on him made him scared. It was possible after all, she was loved by most of the guys around and god knew that he was nowhere near her social scene, they were opposites. When, he wondered, would she get tired of sacrificing parties and opportunities for him?

No lights were on at his house, but both of the cars were in the driveway. Would his dad ever confess to her what he had done? Or would it be better to just let it die? What she didn't knwo wouldn't hurt her. James wanted to tell her, but would he really want to sacrifice his own mother's happiness?

The confusion followed him until he fell asleep on his bed. In his sleep James was haunted with dreams of unfaithfulness between Scarlett and him. Would things ever be peaceful for him or was he destined to be messed up forever?