Radiate

The sun was desperately trying to gain some more access into the room engulfed in the darkness. The curtains were messily drawn together on the huge window with a nice view out at the calm neighborhood. The room was messy with many different items scattered on the ground. It was silent and peaceful and it almost seemed that the room was abandoned or that the owner was never coming back. But the truth was that he was still sleeping soundly in his bed, though it didn't last too long. He stirred in his sleep and after a moment his pale green eyes fluttered opened as he rolled on his back and rubbed his eyes. He laid in his bed for a while as his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and he stretched his arms and legs before he sat up yawning. He looked around the room, glancing briefly at the empty space beside him before he decided to get up from bed.

He slowly walked out the room and down the stairs to his kitchen. He looked into the fridge only to find some beer and some junk food that didn't look edible anymore and seemed to start a life of it's own. He scratched his head and slammed the fridge door shut before deciding to put the pizza from last night into the microwave. As he looked around the interior of the kitchen he rolled his eyes at the mess, which seemed to be always the same if not worse. When his breakfast was ready he took it out of his microwave and slowly headed in direction of the living room. The situation there wasn't better, but it was easier to ignore such things.

Billie Joe grabbed the remote and turned on TV, leaving it on the random channel as he started eating his pizza. His eyes were fixed on the TV screen, but he paid no attention to the show that was on. His mind wandered somewhere not really focusing on anything to long to think about it more then a couple of seconds. He ate automatically his pizza just like a robot. When he was done he sat the plate down on the table, which was flooded with cans, cups and other dishes that were used the past week.

Before going back upstairs he looked at the clock and cursed. It was past 1pm and he was supposed to meet with Mike and Tre. After they've canceled the last shows and returned home they haven't seen each other so often as each of them wanted to spend some time with the people they loved. Mike was happily married and Tre was engaged with his girlfriend. It was obvious they would spend as much time with them as they could and whenever Billie looked at them looking so happy he couldn't help, but feel lonely. No matter what he couldn't find any way to forget the past and move on even though he tried so badly.

He ran up the stairs to his dark room, almost tripping over some clothes on the ground, and grabbed some clean clothes from his closet before heading back out of his room and into the bathroom. About 15 minutes later he was done and he rushed down the stairs and on his way out he grabbed his car keys and house keys. As he locked everything up he went to his car and drove off a moment later.

When he arrived at Mike's house he didn't know if he should expect his friend to be still at home. He was two hours late just because he slept in. He made his way up Mike's drive way and then onto the porch. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently. After a while Mike was the one to answer the door.

"Hey, man!" he motioned for Billie to come in. "I knew you'd be late."

"You did?" Billie cracked a smile as he got inside and Mike closed the door behind him. As Billie looked around the house he couldn't help, but compare how differently it looked comparing to his house. Mike's house looked clean and free of any kind of mess that gathered at Billie's ever since he bought it. "So, where's Anastacia?"

"She went out shopping with friends," Mike shrugged his shoulders as the two of them headed to the living room. As they sat on the couch Mike handed Billie one of the beers that were waiting on the coffee table. There was a football match on TV and beside the sound of the commentary it seemed peaceful, but in a way that made Billie feel calm and not as bored by the monotony of the life. "I thought that we could go out somewhere this weekend and do something fun." Billie looked at his friend and a smile appeared on his face.

"What exactly is on your mind?" Mike shrugged and took a sip from his beer.

"Well, we could go to some bar or anywhere. I don't really see us anywhere near the Gilman Street." the both of them smiled sadly at each other and Billie sighed.

"I know that we've been after a long and tiring tour lately, but I'm really dying slowly without nothing to do."

"Yeah," Mike nodded looking at Billie "You seem like you'd need a company."

"Damn right." Billie grinned.

"And move on." Mike sighed. Billie froze and repeated the words in his head a couple of times. He looked over at Mike and faked a confident smile.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Like a new car and a huge pool in my backyard?"

"You know what I mean." Mike made a face. "I was wrong in the past and I really feel bad about it. I should support you there when everyone were against your relationship. Now I see how wrong I was and if I didn't know you I would think that you suffer from some kind of disease or lost your will to live."

Billie raised his eyebrow and took a sip from his beer can.

"I wouldn't come if I knew that we'd have a girl talk, you know?"

"You look like you'd need someone to talk to." Billie laughed at his friends worry.

"If I ever feel like writing some kind of a love tragedy I'll do so." Billie cracked a smile. "I just need some time to meet someone who won't throw themselves at me because I sing in this awesome band, you know." He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Mike. "Is it really that bad with me?"

"It's hard to tell, but you definitely didn't get over her." Mike replied and thought about the day when they were supposed to meet and instead he had to go to Billie's place to find him drowning himself with alcohol and getting completely wasted. It was just after he meet Sydney. It seemed like a punch in the gut for Billie. He really did love her and couldn't do anything about it. "The state of your house is not the main reason."

They exchanged the knowing glances before they focused their attention on the TV screen and soon they forgot about the world around them, completely lost in the game on the screen. With a distraction like this and a company of a friend it was easy to tune out the thoughts. It was easy to forget the way she smiled or laughed, the way her eyes would sparkle when they were doing something together or playing covers of the song they loved. Everything about her was like a haunting picture that would appear in the more unlikely situation and now when he got to know his own daughter it seemed a lot harder to not think about the two of them. There was something that told him in a reassuring, naive way that everything would change at some point, but he couldn't believe that it would come true. He didn't believe that he could be happy again.

That evening Mike, Anastacia and Billie Joe went out to the Downtown Oakland to the Ruby Room on the 14th Street. It was their first time there and since Anastacia was the one who wanted to visit the place Mike and Billie didn't want to argue. The bar wasn't quite easy to find as it was not visible due to the lack of any sign, but they didn't spend much time on searching for the place as the red lights led the way.
Once the three of them walked into the club they were engulfed by the thick cigarette smoke. The dim light, scarlet candles scattered around the room and red light bulbs created a feeling of welcomeness.

As they passed the dance floor filled with some people dancing they moved to the more far away corner of the club in hope to find some place to sit down. The spaces by the bar were packed and the night was young as it was only around 9pm. At last, they've found an empty table and sat down, still admiring the interior. Billie Joe took of his dark sunglasses and leaned back in his seat.

"I like it here," Anastacia grinned at Mike, who smiled back at her and leaned in to give her a quick, sweet kiss on the lips.

"You can look like hell and no one will notice it." Billie smirked, looking at the couple.

"Do you suggest that I look bad?" Mike gasped.

"Actually,--"

"What a surprise!" A female voice screamed over the music and the three of them turned to look to the right to see a small group of three approaching them. The one who spoke was Allison and behind her was Dave, who was almost caring Sydney in his arms and she didn't see the ones that they approached. "Mike, I thought we'd never find this place when you earlier called."

Billie threw an confused and yet accusatory glare towards his best friend. They stood up and Anastacia extended her hand towards Allison who shook it with a smile. They exchanged some words and then she turned to Dave, who was talking to Sydney with a huge smile on his face trying to hold her in place. Billie's eyes shifted from Mike to the two and he got up to greet Allison with a scoff. Sydney finally pushed herself away from Dave, giving him a glare, before a bright, charming smile appeared on her face as she gave a hug to Anastacia and Mike. Billie frowned and looked away from her nodding acknowledgedly at Dave, who was wearing the same frown upon noticing him standing behind Allison.

Then, Sydney turned to him and realized that it was him and not someone else. Her smile fell and her eyebrows furrowed in a silent question before she looked away from him in perplexity.

"Hi, Billie Joe." she said not even looking at him.

"Hey." he replied and sat down and everyone else started to do the same. Dave sat next to Mike, Sydney was seating on the other side of the table and Allison was sitting between her and Billie Joe.

"If I didn't knew better I'd think it's some kind of a date." Allison laughed.

"Yeah, but everyone took the wrong people on this date." Dave chuckled and glanced at Mike. "Maybe not everyone, but there's definitely something wrong with the pairings."

"Shut up with the pairings and get us some kind of a drink!" Sydney exclaimed wide eyed. "Isn't that a reason why I'm here?"

"To get wasted?" Anastacia asked.

"No, to have fun and get wasted." Allison laughed. "She refuses to do so. She has responsibilities."

Sydney rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her dark hair before glancing over Allison at a trapped Billie Joe, who looked like he wanted to get out of that seat so badly. Dave sighed and got up from his seat asking everyone what they wanted and went to the bar to order everything. Allison got into a conversation with Mike and Anastacia as Billie Joe only listened to it, throwing in some short replies and words, but he wasn't really into the conversation. Sydney felt uneasy and while she thought that she could actually relax and have some fun he happened. For some reason it was too awkward to be there with him. In this place.

When Dave came back a waitress was following him closely with the tray of the drinks. Everyone got theirs and with the little help of the alcohol some traces of the awkwardness disappeared for both Billie and Sydney, who joined the conversation and for once it didn't even bother her that she would sometimes get into a small argument about something stupid with Billie. They would contradict their words all the time and at the end laugh at it how silly it looked. The drinks appeared and disappeared and at this point people around the table forgot about the worries they had earlier. Finally it felt like one of those days a long time ago when everything seemed right.

At some point Billie Joe excused himself and went to the bar where not a long time later an attractive red head joined him and started the conversation right away. Sydney couldn't pretend that she didn't notice how a ten minute conversation turned into an hour and then and hour changed into two. It didn't seem that Billie Joe was coming back to sit with them. One thing concerned her. What would Leslie say to this?

She shook the thought off her mind and turned to Dave, who was talking something about his girlfriend visiting her family in Germany. He wouldn't shut up about her and Sydney was the only one he talked to about her just like Sydney was his consultant in troubles concerning his relationship. It was another thing she hated, though she wouldn't mention it. Luckily Anastacia saved her from listening further into the babble of love sick Dave.

"So, what did you do to Sheena?" she asked, moving to sit closer to Sydney, making Mike and Dave change their seats. "She's such a cute kid."

"Thanks." Sydney smiled proudly. "I've left her at my neighbors. She has two kids and she was the one who suggested babysitting. She said that I looked like someone who'd need to get a one night holiday and relax."

"That's really nice." Anastacia nodded.

"And why aren't you drinking today?" Sydney asked eying curiously her glass filled with water.

"I'm pregnant." she beamed and Sydney got up to give her a hug, congratulating her.

"I'm so happy for you and Mike!" Sydney grinned. "So, now it seems that the two of us will go on long walks to the park."

"Seems like it."

Just then Billie Joe stumbled to the seat and sat down next to Sydney, leaning on her arm with a silly grin on his face. Sydney tensed a little, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

"Got it!" He raised triumphantly a piece of paper into the air and waved for everyone to see.

"What's that?" Mike asked, noticing his friend.

"Number, y'know." he shrugged and leaned in the seat. Sydney turned slightly to look at him with a forced smile.

"Go Billie!" he raised his hand and she high fived him, before turning to look at Anastacia, who was looking at Billie with a small smile. "Another tequila and he'll pass out or--"

"Don't worry about him." Allison smirked, cutting Sydney off as she spoke. "Now is not the time to worry."

Sydney rolled her eyes and leaned back only to feel an arm being wrapped around her a moment later. She looked to her right to see the emerald eyes looking straight into her green ones.

"Billie Joe?"

"'ello," he grinned.

"Um...yeah," she frowned and looked away from him quickly thinking about a way to get out of this situation. After a moment she felt Billie's head lean on her shoulder and she realized that he couldn't really realize what he was doing as every time they saw each other they would argue or throw daggers at each other with their gaze.

"Hey, let's call a cab for him or something...?" Sydney asked the rest, but Billie suddenly protested.

"Hell no!"

"Didn't you have enough?" she sighed, looking at him.

"Nope." he grinned and was about to get up, when Sydney pulled him back by the arm with an annoyed expression on her face. She knew she shouldn't act like this, but then again she wouldn't let him get any more wasted.

"You did have enough, Billie."

"You can't tell me what to do." he frowned, pulling his arm out of her grasp, but surprisingly he didn't get up from his seat beside Sydney.

"Yeah," she nodded her head. "Hey, guys! I'll be heading home."

"What? Why?" Mike asked with a frown. "Stay longer with us."

"Actually, I'm tired too, Mike." Anastacia said and Mike smiled at her reassuringly.

"Well, so it seems that we'll be going home too." Mike shrugged his shoulder. "Let's take a cab."

As Sydney, Mike and Anastacia were about to go, Billie Joe suddenly joined them on the way out. Allison and Dave decided to stay a little longer.

"Hey, man, you better leave your car. You're not in a state to drive back home." Mike said, putting a hand on Billie's arm as he pulled out the key from his jeans.

"I am." Billie protested and started heading towards his car. Sydney rolled her eyes and ran after Billie.

"Wait!" he spun around almost falling over and Sydney couldn't help but laugh at him. He mumbled something as she took the keys. "I'll drive you back home."

He eyed her suspiciously before she pushed him towards his 67 Ford Fairlane. The drive was mostly silent with the radio playing in the background. With only Billie pointing the directions and Sydney driving at a turtle as Billie called it they finally reached the destination. Billie thanked her for the ride and his home keys he headed to the doors. Sydney made sure that he got inside and drove off. Only after she parked the car in front of her apartment half an hour later she realized that she was still in Billie's car.

She slapped her forehead and laid her head on the steering wheel. She sighed and got out of the car with a sigh, promising herself that she would leave the car in Billie's drive way as soon as she'd wake up in the morning. He wouldn't even notice that the car was gone. She wasn't sure if he'd remember that she was the one that dropped him off as he was pretty much in his own word. With another sigh she made sure the car was locked and headed inside the apartment building.