It Began with Detentions with a Drunken Professor
The First Detention
Harry Potter and his two loyal companions, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, walked beside each other to their Gryffindor common room.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Harry. You knew it would earn you a month’s detention.” Hermione complained, reaching the Portrait Hole.
“He had it coming to him, Hermione! He was the one who started it!” Harry didn’t want to talk about it. It was enough to talk about him and his family, but to go as far as to call his best friend ‘a waste of space and a filthy Mudblood’, there was going to be some type of defending.
“It was just Malfoy! He’s a dimwit anyway! I’m used to it by now.” She whispered. She acted like she didn’t mind that Draco Malfoy had insulted her, but Harry knew that it made her upset.
“Hermione, Harry had every right to hex him. Just give it a rest, will you?” Ron interjected.
“Fine.” She folded her arms as they climbed through the hole in the wall, walking into a room full of scarlet and gold. “But I think Snape was a bit out of line. Malfoy hexes first years all the time with no punishment, but if you give him a pig snout and beaver teeth, you’re detained for a month.”
Ron nodded. “I think we should get back at Snape. Give him a taste of what we’ve got.”
Harry looked at him, hardly thinking the same thing. “What, like hexing him too?”
“No, I mean…we should do something to make your detentions a bit more fun.”
Hermione looked horror-struck. “Ronald Weasley! We’re not doing that!” her eyes were wide, obviously thinking exactly what he was.
“Why not? Just slip a little of Slughorn’s rum into his goblet at dinner.”
Harry looked enlightened, as if he were just told he had the power of the world. “Ron, you’re a genius!”
“No he’s not! He’s talking about liquoring up a teacher! It could go so wrong! We could be expelled!” Hermione stood in front of Harry, taking every bit of her strength into putting sense into his head.
“But Hermione, think of it! A drunk Snape! He could be all woozy, spill all his secrets, we could have blackmail forever!” He was intrigued. Imagining Professor Snape, wobbling around the Potion’s dungeon, telling Harry all of his personal weaknesses. It was brilliant.
“Harry! Think! If he finds out, you’re dead.” She was almost pleading, but annoyed with his childness.
“And if I get caught, I’ll just go to Sirius. I’m sure he’ll get a laugh at it.” He laughed to himself, picturing Sirius and his father younger, and their childhood nemesis, Severus Snape.
“Fine. Do what you want. But I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do. Because, obviously, it’s not.”
So, it was settled. Ron went to sneak into Slughorn’s office and took a bottle of Slughorn’s rum, and then gave it to Harry, who put in Snape’s goblet, under the Invisibility Cloak.
Everything had gone as planned and Harry sat down at the House table between Ron and Hermione, waiting impatiently to watch Snape drink their greatest idea.
“Do you reckon he’ll notice?” Ron asked quietly, stuffing meat into his mouth.
“No, Hermione charmed it so he can’t taste the difference.” Harry watched intently, as Snape drank big gulpfuls of his drink. Detention was definitely going to be fun.
Dinner had passed and it was time for Harry’s detention in the dungeon. He smiled as he walked, laughing to himself. Snape was going to be plastered, and he was going to be in the same room.
Of course, Hermione had been against it the whole time, although Harry could see her eager to see the outcome.
He walked down the old, stone steps and reached the wooden dungeon door, labeled “Pro. Snape: Potions”
He opened it, expecting Snape to be in the room. He looked around, curiosity filling him as he saw the room empty.
He walked further in and set his books on a table, wondering why Snape was not in the classroom.
“Ah, it’s Harry!” Snape had wobbled in the door. “Showed up, did you?”
Snape’s voice was deep and rough, even a bit scary, but his lively, slurred words made Harry laugh to himself.
“Well, I’m sure I’ve got some, er, something for you to do.” Snape weebled over to his desk, completely drunk. Harry forced himself not to roar with laughter.
“It seems as though I have not left anything for you to do!” Severus searched his desk. “I suppose you could just, uh, sit here and…do homework, I suppose!”
Homework was not one of the funnest thing in the world to Harry, but it was most likely as cheerful as pie compared to what Snape would’ve originally planned.
Harry got out his got out his schoolbooks and started writing his essay for DADA, nearly dieing of hilarity when Snape wobbled and nearly fell. He wished Ron and Hermione were hear to see this.
Moments passed and Professor Snape started getting talkative.
“Harry Potter! Son of Lily Evans! I always had been a friend with her, you know. I had showed her how to pass Potions, because she was failing. Horribly. She helped me with finding out how to charm the girls, Lily did. She’d set up dates just so she could test my manners. Apparently, I was not the sort of boy girls dreamed of. So she tried to change that. Lily would sneak into the Boy’s dormitory and hex any boy who’d make fun of me in their sleep. She never knew that I knew it was her. All my seven years in the school with her, she had tried to get me to go with other girls. She thought I’d love someone else. I remember once she tried to set me up with dear Nymphadora.” Snape took a break and stared off into the distance. “It’s a shame,” he whispered. “That all those years she tried to get me to go out with other girls, the only girl that I knew I would ever love was her.”
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“You shouldn’t have done that, Harry. You knew it would earn you a month’s detention.” Hermione complained, reaching the Portrait Hole.
“He had it coming to him, Hermione! He was the one who started it!” Harry didn’t want to talk about it. It was enough to talk about him and his family, but to go as far as to call his best friend ‘a waste of space and a filthy Mudblood’, there was going to be some type of defending.
“It was just Malfoy! He’s a dimwit anyway! I’m used to it by now.” She whispered. She acted like she didn’t mind that Draco Malfoy had insulted her, but Harry knew that it made her upset.
“Hermione, Harry had every right to hex him. Just give it a rest, will you?” Ron interjected.
“Fine.” She folded her arms as they climbed through the hole in the wall, walking into a room full of scarlet and gold. “But I think Snape was a bit out of line. Malfoy hexes first years all the time with no punishment, but if you give him a pig snout and beaver teeth, you’re detained for a month.”
Ron nodded. “I think we should get back at Snape. Give him a taste of what we’ve got.”
Harry looked at him, hardly thinking the same thing. “What, like hexing him too?”
“No, I mean…we should do something to make your detentions a bit more fun.”
Hermione looked horror-struck. “Ronald Weasley! We’re not doing that!” her eyes were wide, obviously thinking exactly what he was.
“Why not? Just slip a little of Slughorn’s rum into his goblet at dinner.”
Harry looked enlightened, as if he were just told he had the power of the world. “Ron, you’re a genius!”
“No he’s not! He’s talking about liquoring up a teacher! It could go so wrong! We could be expelled!” Hermione stood in front of Harry, taking every bit of her strength into putting sense into his head.
“But Hermione, think of it! A drunk Snape! He could be all woozy, spill all his secrets, we could have blackmail forever!” He was intrigued. Imagining Professor Snape, wobbling around the Potion’s dungeon, telling Harry all of his personal weaknesses. It was brilliant.
“Harry! Think! If he finds out, you’re dead.” She was almost pleading, but annoyed with his childness.
“And if I get caught, I’ll just go to Sirius. I’m sure he’ll get a laugh at it.” He laughed to himself, picturing Sirius and his father younger, and their childhood nemesis, Severus Snape.
“Fine. Do what you want. But I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do. Because, obviously, it’s not.”
So, it was settled. Ron went to sneak into Slughorn’s office and took a bottle of Slughorn’s rum, and then gave it to Harry, who put in Snape’s goblet, under the Invisibility Cloak.
Everything had gone as planned and Harry sat down at the House table between Ron and Hermione, waiting impatiently to watch Snape drink their greatest idea.
“Do you reckon he’ll notice?” Ron asked quietly, stuffing meat into his mouth.
“No, Hermione charmed it so he can’t taste the difference.” Harry watched intently, as Snape drank big gulpfuls of his drink. Detention was definitely going to be fun.
Dinner had passed and it was time for Harry’s detention in the dungeon. He smiled as he walked, laughing to himself. Snape was going to be plastered, and he was going to be in the same room.
Of course, Hermione had been against it the whole time, although Harry could see her eager to see the outcome.
He walked down the old, stone steps and reached the wooden dungeon door, labeled “Pro. Snape: Potions”
He opened it, expecting Snape to be in the room. He looked around, curiosity filling him as he saw the room empty.
He walked further in and set his books on a table, wondering why Snape was not in the classroom.
“Ah, it’s Harry!” Snape had wobbled in the door. “Showed up, did you?”
Snape’s voice was deep and rough, even a bit scary, but his lively, slurred words made Harry laugh to himself.
“Well, I’m sure I’ve got some, er, something for you to do.” Snape weebled over to his desk, completely drunk. Harry forced himself not to roar with laughter.
“It seems as though I have not left anything for you to do!” Severus searched his desk. “I suppose you could just, uh, sit here and…do homework, I suppose!”
Homework was not one of the funnest thing in the world to Harry, but it was most likely as cheerful as pie compared to what Snape would’ve originally planned.
Harry got out his got out his schoolbooks and started writing his essay for DADA, nearly dieing of hilarity when Snape wobbled and nearly fell. He wished Ron and Hermione were hear to see this.
Moments passed and Professor Snape started getting talkative.
“Harry Potter! Son of Lily Evans! I always had been a friend with her, you know. I had showed her how to pass Potions, because she was failing. Horribly. She helped me with finding out how to charm the girls, Lily did. She’d set up dates just so she could test my manners. Apparently, I was not the sort of boy girls dreamed of. So she tried to change that. Lily would sneak into the Boy’s dormitory and hex any boy who’d make fun of me in their sleep. She never knew that I knew it was her. All my seven years in the school with her, she had tried to get me to go with other girls. She thought I’d love someone else. I remember once she tried to set me up with dear Nymphadora.” Snape took a break and stared off into the distance. “It’s a shame,” he whispered. “That all those years she tried to get me to go out with other girls, the only girl that I knew I would ever love was her.”
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