10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black

10)Ask her, "Why didn't you die when you jumped off the cliff?" When she doesn't answer ask, "Are you like Batwoman or something.....Is Carlisle SUPERMAN!?!?!"
9)Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
8)Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
7)Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse. Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor. Dreamy”
6)Say she is a bad example because Bella jumped off a cliff wanting to be like her
5)Ask her, "Since your hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?"
4)Tell her that Carlisle is way too old for her and is clearly a cradle-snatcher or a pedophile.
3)Hint at what she really does when she is alone at home.
2)Say, "It's too bad you can't have children,....but Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie will just have to do."
And finally the number one way to annoy Esme Cullen
1)Send her an anonymous package of baby clothing