By Your Side

I've come to realize that I love Tom and Tom only. I wrote this song about him.

“Has anyone heard the song Pain of love yet?” I asked the crowd after bringing the microphone back up to my lips. The crowed cheered and got even louder when the music started playing. After the show I think Tom realized that. What happened though after I got out of the shower at the hotel we were staying at was a bit shocking. I had the towel around my waist and the door wasn't locked because I thought Tom, who was sharing a room with me, was out with Gustav and Georg. I was wrong though.

I was standing in front of the foggy mirror and just thinking. I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't realized someone open the door or wrap their arms around me. When I realized that someone was there I freaked out mentally and turned around only to have my lips met by my brothers. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back but I was still shocked. He started to grind his hips into mine causing me to moan in the kiss. He kissed different spots of my neck but when he bit down and sucked softly he got me to tilt my head back and really let out a moan.

He kissed my soft spot gently before smiling.

“I was afraid I'd lost your interest in me...for some reason I couldn't get you out of my mind and I was really confused until right before you jumped. Running up the stairs I realized that I loved you more then a brother. This might be wrong to some but it feels so amazingly right” he said into my neck. I closed my eyes and smiled. I gently tugged on his hair so he would look at me.

“I want you to say those three wonderful words again” I say

“I love you” he said. I pushed him against the wall and kissed him roughly. He moaned and wrapped his arms around my waist. I put my hands on his chest. We broke for air after a while.

“I've never felt or seen you so rough. It's a slight turn on” he said.

“Do you want me to continue?” I asked.

“Yes...I want you to take me all the way” he said.

“I don't want to hurt you...so if something does hurt, let me know” I say before kissing him roughly again. I pulled away and pulled his shirt off before grinding my hips harshly into his. He whimpered in pleasure. I kissed him again but stopped grinding. I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans with one hand while the other rested on his neck. I reached my hand down his boxers and gripped him pretty tightly. He groaned and closed his eyes as he kissed me back.

The next morning I regretted last night though because Tom took everything back again. I was sick of this. I smacked him right after he said it. I couldn't believe he'd do anything like that at all. I closed my eyes and started to cry. I just fell apart right in front of him and I didn't care if he saw. I ran then. The tour was over so when I got home I didn't talk to him forever after that. He took my virginity and ended up taking my heart with him too. Why can't anything go right for me anymore?

I stood up before I looked out the window and found out that it was raining. I just ran towards the window and smashed through it. The last thing I remember is the cool rain touching my skin. I woke up in a hospital to the three guys surrounding me. I glared at Tom when he stood up which is probably when he realized that this is his fault. Three weeks later I got out and Tom was waiting for me right there to drive me home. I glared out the window as silence started to eat at me.

“Bill...we need to talk.” he said

“About?” I asked

“Dating...” he said

“What about it? The fact that you're too much of a man whore to stay with one person or the fact that it's disgusting to love you like I do? Or lets say it's both and say that you hate me. Lets say that you'd lied for sex.” I snap. It got really quiet again. I looked at him and he had tears in his eyes. He parked on the side of the road before putting his head on the wheel and just crying. I put my hand on his back and rubbed gently.

“I'm sorry...I don't know what came over me...” I say

“I do...I've broken your heart. You've guessed wrong though. I love you but I'm scared.” he said in between sobs.

“of what?” I asked

“Our parents...our fans...I know our band mates are alright with it...” he sobbed out

“I'm not afraid of them. The fans don't need to know and our parents...if they don't like us anymore then we've still got each other. Remember when I wrote 'by your side'?” I asked him

“Yeah?” he asked

“I wrote it mostly about you” I say. He cried harder then. I crawled into the back seat and made him do the same thing. I laid down and put his head on my chest. He just cried and held my hand.

“I'm never going to leave or hurt you...I love you Tom. I couldn't love anyone else. Please, tell me the truth” I say

“I love you Bill...to death. I need your hold and touch. Right now you're comforting me with your breathing.” he said. I smiled. We laid like that for what felt like years but was only an hour. We drove to my apartment. Later on I woke up and smiled but winced then. I put my head on his bare chest.

“Guten Morgan” he said

“Guten Morgan” I replied before leaning up and kissing him gently. I made a noise that would prove how much pain I'm in as I laid down.

“Did I hurt you too much?” he asked with worry in his voice.

“A bit...it's okay. I love how big you are” I say. I knew he was smirking.

“I'm giving next time though...” I say

“Next time?” he asked.

“Yes. I'd figured that since we're a couple now that your mine and I am yours” I say. He smiled and moved me so I was next to him. I was just being limp so he could move me easily at the moment. He kissed me gently before pulling him to me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes. When I woke up in the morning he was gone. I got out of bed and pulled my boxers on before looking for him. It was kind of a cold rainy day. I walked into the living room and found a note on the table.

“Dear love of mine, mom called. She invited us over but I told her that you were sick and had to stay in bed. I'll be back in a while. I love you-Tom” I smiled as I read that note. I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on before pulling my boxers off and getting in. I let the hot water warm me up as I let all of my thoughts disappear. I heard Tom walk into the house crying. I opened my eyes after rinsing the shampoo out.

“Tom?” I called to him as he entered the bedroom. I heard foot steps before he walked into the bathroom. I peaked my head out the curtain and he had puffy red eyes with tears streaming down his face. I turned the water off and grabbed the towel. I dried off the best I could and wrapped the towel around my waste.

“Tom, what's wrong? What happened?” I asked

“Mom...and dad....I told them” he said. I hugged him even though I was still slightly wet. He didn't seem to care though as he hugged me back. I knew mom and dad wouldn't take the news well but I was hoping they wouldn't find out. I'm kind of glad that Tom told them instead of something like them walking in on us almost fucking each other. I kissed his forehead and sighed.

“Then forget them. If they don't like it then we don't have to see them. We still have to call them...” I say

“Yeah...dad yelled at me to get out. Mom didn't even react...she just sat there as if she was thinking about something. Maybe she was” he said. We heard the phone ring.

“I'll get it” I told him before pulling away from him and going into the kitchen.

“Hallo Muter” I say. She replied with a hello back and she told me that she didn't really care what me and Tom were doing as long as we were happy. She told me that she loved us no matter what and that she'd see me later. She also told me about a divorce that could possibly happen between them. Then she said that she had to go do 50 things and that she'd call me later. I told her 'bye' and hung up. I walked into the bedroom to find Tom laying on the bed with his eyes closed.

I knew he wasn't sleeping though. I laid next to him and smiled when he opened his eyes.

“Mom's alright with us. Her and dad might be getting divorced though...she found dad with another man” I say. Sadness was thick in my tone but I knew I'd get over it. Most kids get over their parents divorce. I closed my eyes, totally forgetting that I was in nothing but a towel, and cuddled into Tom. He wrapped his arms around me and smiled. It was moments like these that would keep us together no matter what. It's because of the love we felt for each other in these moments that it would keep us through thick and thin.

I fell asleep in his arms but when I woke up he was gone. I stood up and went into the bathroom with clothes. I got dressed and did my hair for the day before going out into the living room. He wasn't even there. I called him but he didn't answer. I sat down and started to worry. I stood up and looked around the whole apartment for him or a note but found nothing.

Maybe he went to go see mom...maybe he got into a car crash while he was driving. What if he could be dead? I stood up and called Mom. She didn't answer though. I started to panic really badly. I heard the front door open and close but I didn't move off of the bed. I'd just assumed it was him and I was right.

“You're awake. Good” he said. He seemed fine. No bruises, cuts, broken limbs, or blood. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him when he walked by me. He stopped walking the moment I wrapped my arms around him. I had my head on his back, I'd hugged him from behind, and my eyes were closed. He turned around and hugged me back.

“What's wrong?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

“You left and I thought the worst happened to you...” I say before burring my face into his shoulder. He hugged me to him tighter.

“The worse that could happen would be a car crash and I'm a pretty good driver. I've never gotten into a crash before” he said but his words didn't calm me down. He brought my face to his and kissed me gently. I kissed back the same way. I pulled away and sighed. I laid down on the bed with him and he held me. We'd just laid there and talked for hours. I was really tired from the tour so I wanted to sleep more but I didn't want to wake up and have him gone.

My eyes were getting heavy but I was fighting it.

“Bill...sleep. I'll be here when you wake up this time. I promise” he said. I closed my eyes then and instantly fell asleep. When I woke up he was right next to me sleeping. We were under the covers now and he was holding me close. I smiled and just watched him sleep for a few minutes until I decided to wake him up. I kissed him gently. He kissed me back which was a sign that he was awake. I pulled away from him then.

“Sleep well?” I asked him

“Of course, I was next to you” he said. I smiled.

“You're a kiss ass” I say

“I'm speaking the truth” he said

“Really?” I ask

“Yes” he said. I smiled again and pecked his lips, which he protested to with a simple whine. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom. He got out of bed and followed me.

“Can I help you?” I asked him as I grabbed a towel and started the shower.

“Maybe” he said

“If I kiss you, will you get out of the bathroom?” I asked. He nodded. I sighed and kissed him them. He pinned me against the wall and kissed me back. I couldn't pull away but I didn't mind that because I started to really get into the kiss. The phone rang. He pulled away and sighed.

“I'll get it.” he said before leaving the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it. I got in the shower with a smile on my face.

*Tom's POV *

“Hey” I said into the phone.

“Hey Tom. You remember me, right?” she asked

“Yes. Why?” I asked

“I was wondering if you'd do me another favor...” she trailed off.

“What kind of favor?” I asked

“One the includes you, me, and a hotel” she said.

How much do I love Bill?