Changing Moments

David's POV.

Why am I feeling like this? Why does it feel like there's no reason to wake up smiling anymore. It's been at least a week since Allie left and I'm handling it really well, until now that is. I don't understand why now waves of depression are running through my body. Is it possible to miss someone so much that you just want to spill your heart out to the next person that walks by? I smirked a little as the janitor passed sweeping the side of the hallway. Imagine, telling my whole sob story to a janitor. Now that would be pathetic.

I anxiously turned the door knob of my apartment hoping I would calm the rushing thoughts in my head down a notch or two. Everyday I seem to be rushing upstairs so I can read my newest email from Allie. That's another reason why I don't understand the feelings I'm getting. I talk to her every single day, so it's not like she's totally gone from my life. Once again I found a new message waiting in my in box for it to be read.

Yeah things are fine, I still miss you like crazy though. My sister lost her first tooth.... my parents went nuts. Of course they thought it would be such a good idea for me to be the tooth fairy and sneak into Callie's room to get the tooth. Apparently she was awake and starting screaming and punching me claiming that " I wanted to steal the millions of dollars" she was going to get. So the next morning (with a couple bruises on my arm) she is still mad because she only got a dollar. Yup, she blames me. Hahah anyways, what's up with you these days? The stress of Idol gettin' to ya yet?

I had to laugh out loud imagining what that night would have been like for her, it sounded pretty rough. These emails were the only thing that made me feel close to her again, like we were in the same room. I could almost see her typing this while rolling her smoky blue eyes along with each word. God I miss her. I tried to think of what to say, because I tell her in every email that I miss her but this is different. I don't know why? I just feel.... well different. I sat there with my head in my hands trying to figure out the reason when I heard a soft knock on my door.

" It's open." I called out.

" Hey you." This was the first time I've seen Lauren since that night she uhh... you know how it went.

" Hello." I didn't sound as enthusiastic as she did.

" What's wrong baby? You look sad."

" It's nothing, just in a bad mood."

" I think I can fix that." She walked over to my chair and I tried to pull me up, I didn't budge.

" Come on Dave, didn't you like the last time?" Giving up she decided just to lean down herself, inching her face closer and closer to mine.

" Didn't you?" She repeated again. I couldn't put up with this anymore. The mix of my weird feelings I was having towards Allie took over my brain.

" No. I didn't enjoy it. I just couldn't!" I pushed the chair backwards, startling her just a bit.

She just stood there, still shocked at my change of mood I guess. I sighed deeply as I decided it was only right to apologize and explain myself.

" Is there something wrong with me?" She finally spoke in a whisper.

" No, no. Trust me nothing is wrong with you. I-I well .... Allie was standing right there. And we are uh sort of ... a couple." Her eyes grew.

" Oh god I'm so sorry. She must think I'm a bitch, or a slut, or whatever. David I'm really not like that, I never knew. You're just so perfect, I wanted you to myself. I feel awful now, when did this start?"

" Sometime around top 24. Don't blame yourself, Allie got over it. We should've told you but we wanted to keep it private for now. Although Michael stalked us and eventually found out."

" That's alright, I know now. I'm glad I do, I wouldn't want to ruin anything between you guys. I never realized but you really are a cute couple. How are things?"

Was she really asking this? Now that she knew maybe I could explain my situation to her, and just maybe she will know what's going on. I sat back down across from where she was, ready to spill.

" Um, I think I need to talk to you about that. Things are great, we talk everyday.. well email that is. But even before she went back home there wasn't a day I didn't see her, except for busy Idol days. I was doing fine emailing her knowing that a little distance wouldn't hurt us, but now I feel something I haven't before. I find myself picturing her in my head and wishing I could see her sparkling eyes again. I miss holding her in my arms on the result nights after I've been announced safe. I just miss her with every fiber of my being, and I just can't reason to why this is happening now after days of her being gone." I finished off my ramble allowing Lauren to talk. She looked at me squinting her eyes slightly.

" David, I know what's wrong."

" You do? Really?"

" Yes. Everything you said right there showed passion and true feelings towards Allie. Before I tell you what I think it is, do you mind telling me something? Have you kissed her?"

" Yeah, only short ones though. She wanted to take it slow. Pretty sure when you kissed me it was longer than that."

" Hmm. Well you need to get to that Dave."

" Why?"

" From what you told me I know for a fact that.... you love her. Not just falling her David, you're completely in love with her and it's driving you crazy that she's not around. Have you told that? That you love her?"

I was shocked, but what she said I realized was true. I have never really "loved" anyone before so I never knew the feeling. Now I understand and am completely willing to admit I am in love with Allie and needed to tell her.

" No, I've told her that I was seriously falling but not in love."

" Then boy you better get to it! Don't be afraid either if she wants to take things slow, tell her now it won't scare her off. Coming from some jerk guys it might, but not from you. It will only make things better, trust me."

Without anymore words said I quickly hit "reply" on that last email I received.